Why I Regret Stepping Foot On A College Campus

A College Campus

A College Campus

I remember my senior year before I went to college. The sort of advice I received was be sure to use condoms, don’t do drugs, don’t party and study so you can make good grades and make your family proud. What no one told me, what I wish I would have known before I stepped one foot on that beautiful country campus is that it wasn’t drugs, women or study habits that would haunt me long after those college years; it was finances.

My first week on that college campus there was a table set up. Two attractive, cool college kids asking me if I wanted a free t-shirt and twenty five dollars. “Hey man, you’re away from home; you need a credit card for expenses. Gas money, maybe a date, a book you need right away.” Eighteen years old, not even a bank account in my name I signed up for the credit card and ten minutes later I was approved. That same week when I sat across from a counselor in the financial aid office she laid out several options for me. “This is what the University is offering you, A Pell Grant, your partial scholarship, four loan options.” All I saw was green, more money in my hand than I’d ever seen, a couple thousand more than I needed. I signed that promissory note not realizing I was signing my future earnings away.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t blame the University I attended for my bad decisions. I don’t blame the Federal Government or the Student Loan Lenders. Without those programs a lot of kids and adults would never even have a chance at college. I blame myself for not being better informed and though I can’t go back I can learn from my mistakes. My sisters, cousins, my future children will never be able to say, “I didn’t know.” I will be there with them letting them know, apply for scholarships, work a part time job, pay your student loan interest while you’re in school, maintain academic progress. Things I wasn’t told until it was too late.

I don’t regret going to college, I regret going to college when I did because I simply wasn’t prepared mentally. It’s what you’re supposed to do right? You don’t want to be the guy still staying at home working a job while all your friends are off at college. You don’t want to go to the military just as 9/11 happened and be deployed six months later. So I went to college and though the academics weren’t as hard as I thought the maturity level just wasn’t there.

Everyone in my office is excited about W2’s because who doesn’t love an influx of money? I on the other hand will be experiencing my third straight year of the Federal Government withholding my income taxes. All because I didn’t do what I was supposed to do when I was younger. A part of me is almost grateful that I am going through this because it’s forced me to budget more. It’s made me accountable. This hasn’t been easy but it’s been necessary. Though I wish I would have learned these lessons in my youth I still have a lot of life to live if God says the same and for that I’m thankful. Talk to your children about not just the parties, drugs, women or men. Talk to them about money and respecting it or it will come back to haunt them.

4 Ways to Chase Your Dreams While Still Working for Someone Else

There are more small business’s and entrepreneurs in 2015 than at any point in the history of civilization. That’s not hyperbole; that’s fact. Why put your time, effort, energy and knowledge into making someone else rich when you can make yourself rich?

As sexy as it sounds to quit a job that provides you insurance, security, a steady income all to pursue a dream sounds; that’s not always practical. What is practical though is starting small and building and working your way to being able to branching out on your own.

One- Putting Yourself On A Schedule

It can be really tempting to over exert yourself when you’re trying to build a business. Working day and night whenever you have a free moment. But you also run the risk of burning yourself out. Pace yourself and give yourself a work schedule. I make myself write 3 hours a day 5 days a week no matter what. Some days I write more but never less.

Two- Don’t Work For Free

When I first started writing I was so excited to be doing something I loved I unintentionally worked for free. Not charging for re-writes, not charging for consultations, not enforcing contracts. Allowing people to try and barter services instead of paying me. I learned turning down work was better than working for people that didn’t respect my efforts and talents.

Three- Build A Base

Know who your target audience is. Once you realize who you’re targeting start to build a base. It doesn’t matter what you’re selling, what matters is that you’re consistent. That your word never sways. That your product or service is always dependable.

Four- Your Fee Is Your Fee

Do not! I repeat, do not! Feel as though you have to lower your fees to get customers. You won’t build a business that way; if anything you’ll end up working harder for less and when you do try and up your prices people will go elsewhere. Charge what you know you’re worth and with a quality product word will spread.

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Four Tips to Being A Better Public Speaker

Demez F. White

Demez F. White

Often times we think of public speaking as talking to big groups but public speaking applies anytime you’re talking to anyone other than yourself. It can be a conference meeting, a casual mixer or happy hour. It can be you in the office with your boss and a co-worker. Whenever you are speaking in front of people you want to be clear, confident, knowledgeable and focused on what you want to project.

There’s a line Don Draper used to say on Mad Men. “If you don’t like the way the conversation is going, change it.” Here are a couple tips and for more exclusive consulting email me so we can set something up.

One- Don’t try and outthink the room when you’re speaking. No need to use words that you wouldn’t normally use or talk about topics you aren’t familiar with. Research, read, know your audience and get on their level. Mold your conversation and speech to them, not the other way around.

Two- Keep it short and to the point, leave them wanting more. How many times have we been in a meeting and it feels like it’s dragging? It may have only been ten minutes but you swear you were in there three hours. Don’t be that person that’s putting people to sleep. We live in a generation where people have short attention spans.

Three- Dress the part. If you know you’re going to be speaking look like you own that room. If you’re wearing a tie wear power colors, red, navy blue, deep purple. Don’t give them anything to be distracted by. A wrinkled shirt, colors that are too bright. It’s the same with women, don’t flaunt your sexuality but don’t hide it either. The same way a nice tailored suit says a lot about a man, a nice tailored business suit on a woman says the same thing. Smile, be welcoming. Know your setting and thrive in it.

Four- Talking points! Talking points! Talking points! Know what you’re going to talk about from A-Z before you get up that morning. Write a speech but don’t memorize it because if it’s not something you do daily you’ll fumble trying to remember it. Take key talking points from each paragraph and expound on what you already know. Don’t give a speech as much as you’re having a conversation with the room.

These are just a couple tips and remember, greatness is in all of us.

~ Demez F. White

 

Till Death Do Us Part

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Melanie

Looking at his reflection in the elevator, the way his eyes were burning a hole through my ass. I just closed my eyes and fought the desire to cry, to scream, to hit every button and get off at the next floor and run! My body was a resource, a tool, I wasn’t the first woman to use it to get what I wanted. What I needed.

I wouldn’t be the last.

Everything was happening in slow motion, the key card sliding into the door, the lock slipping. As soon as I heard the door slam I felt his lips on the back of my neck and his hands sliding under my skirt. The room was dark, my face and hands were on the wall, only one tear fell. I wouldn’t let anymore fall. His hand was on the back of my neck, he spread my legs with his thighs and bent me over like I was being frisked. I could hear my panties being ripped and his zipper coming down.

I could hear the ripping of the condom wrapper, his grip tightened around my neck. I was too dry when he pushed himself inside of me but either he didn’t feel it or didn’t care because he wasn’t taking his time. The harder he stroked, the harder he squeezed my neck, he pushed me down further so that my back would arch more.

His breathing, his grunts, my hand hitting the wall trying to brace myself was all I could hear and then it was over.

He stepped back and I stayed with my face against the wall, pulling my skirt down and leaving my ripped panties on the floor. I wanted to turn around but I couldn’t face him.

“I’ll keep the account with your company. If you want to branch out on your own I’ll back you.” He opened the door, the light from the hallway came blasting in. I didn’t even want to go to the bathroom and clean up. I picked my purse up off the floor and held my head up, forcing myself to look him in the eyes.

“Thank you.” I didn’t recognize my own voice. All I recognized was the throbbing between my legs and pulsating pain through my wrist.

I stepped into the hallway, he rubbed the back of my arm and I turned around. “I’ll expect this arrangement to continue once a month and next time I want you to look me in my eyes when I’m inside you.” He let the door close and I knew things would never be the same.

But did success come without sacrifice?

A Couple Professional Tips From A Writer

1. Send important people in your company emails thanking them for doing a good job. You may think that CEO or Chairman in Austin or NY doesn’t read them but they all do. The people in Human Resources or Payroll. Once a month pick someone out and thank them for specific policies or work. They get angry emails all day, people asking them for things all day. Be the one person that just wants to thank them.

2. Don’t text or social network shorthand if you send a lot of emails at work. You will slip up. We all think we can handle it but you’ll accidentally send that lol or lmao or u when it’s important. Practice makes perfect.

3. Take personal calls in private if you can. No matter how low you think you’re talking or whispering someone is listening, gossiping. People will judge based off your private life.

Now go be great!

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Corporate Woman Appreciation Day

dress naked My name is Demez and I’m here for made up internet days. I can be a very serious man at times and that gets sort of tiring if I’m being honest. I like social media, I like interacting with strangers from the comfort of my home or work. I like being stressed and tired and taking fifteen minutes to look at women I’ll never meet in real life or comment on stories that won’t matter to my family or personal life.

We live in this society where everyone is too cool for everything. If you comment on too many FB post, you must not be working. If you post too many pictures on Instagram you can’t be dating. If you tweet a lot, you must not go out.

Today I came across a hashtag on twitter that was “Corporate Girl Appreciation Day.” Wondering what it was I clicked on it and came across several women sharing pictures of themselves in their corporate chic clothing.

Modest but sexy heels, pencil skirts that were fitting just right, blouses that were a button away from getting her a free lunch. I must have looked at twenty pictures and I commented on most of them because I appreciate women that take pride in what they wear to work.

One woman said, “I have large breast so I always have that top button dilemma, it’s comfortable to leave top buttons undone but these girls get way too much attention so I try to compromise by buying my blouses just a size bigger.” It was cute to me what women have to do just to be cute and taken seriously.

Whenever I date someone I always ask for pictures, now at first I know she’s looking at her phone like, “Here goes another one, I’m not getting naked in your iMessages.” But I can go to my saved pics for that. I like “I think I look cute at work today restroom pics.” “I’m sitting in traffic but my makeup is on point selfies.” “I know these older women at my job will hate but this skirt is fitting right pics.” Don’t post them for the world, send it to me. That’s why I love Corporate Women.