10 Reasons Why I Believe I’m Falling In Love With You

Common-Romantic-Regrets One- I check your Facebook every day. Not really to see who you’re talking to or what guys are saying but just to look at pictures, to see your face. I like seeing your face, seeing your smile.

Two- When you call my entire personality changes. I smile more, I don’t get out the truck, I blow off work for twenty minutes, your voice makes me realize just how much nothing matters more than talking to your pretty ass.

Three- I love your ambition, I find myself talking about you to strangers just because you’re you.

Four- I could care less about having sex with you, our conversations are enough. The way you stimulate my mind means more than any woman has ever done to me physically.

Five- When I write it’s you I see.

Six- The things that make me ignore most women, complaining, whining, crying, all those things bring me closer to you. They make me want to spend more time with you.

Seven- I watch you sleep, not in a creepy way or Silence of the Lambs way but just in a way that brings me comfort. I wonder what you’re dreaming about. I like pulling you close and having you sink your body into mines.

Eight- I have a feeling that when you’re completely into me the amount of freaky and sexy in you will turn me out. It will change my life.

Nine- I love your simplistic beauty.

Ten- Loyalty. To your friends, to your family, to me. Even though we haven’t known each other for long I love how you’re willing to have my back. I love how you talk to me and see me in a way that makes me feel like you care. I know you care. I’m falling in love with you and I don’t care who knows it.

Five Steps to Forever

I feel youStep One- When You Least Expect It

(Her Words) They always say it will happen when you least expect it. My mother always told me that when I became solely focused on bettering myself and my situation, is when the proverbial “He” would walk in. But honestly before I met my “He”, I never thought that this approach would work for me.

(His Words) No matter how many conversations I have or how many women I date the same feelings always arise. Is she the one for me? Can I make her happy? Can I spend forever with her? I had a conversation with my grandfather once where he told me, “Don’t ever trip over one woman because there are too many out there for that.” For so long I lived by that until I realized that approach wouldn’t work for me. It wouldn’t work for me because one woman is all I’ve ever needed.

Step Two- The Unexpected Date

(Her Words) Every woman likes the anticipation and excitement of the first date. The choosing of the outfit and the fretting over the hair and makeup are oftentimes better than the date itself. Women tend to build up the whole evening in our minds. We imagine that he will show up with flowers, have the whole evening planned to suit our specific tastes, and be the perfect gentleman. However, when our prince reverts to a frog, the excitement quickly turns to disappointment.

I have heard that friends make the best lovers. It can be hard to imagine but now I understand. How do you transition from telling him about all of your man problems and woes, to him being the source of them?

(His Words) It wasn’t supposed to be a date. There were supposed to be fifteen people there but when I arrived it was just her. Just her smile, just her hair, just her eyes. I can’t say I was nervous or scared or anything but comfortable. This wasn’t supposed to be a date but how could it not feel like one with me being with the most beautiful woman in the room. She was funny, charming, soft, polite, she even bought my movie ticket. It wasn’t supposed to be a date but five hours later, a bottle of wine and countless smiles and laughs it was the best date of my life.

Step Three- Falling in the Moment

(Her Words) The ultimate sign that you are on the right path is when you experience what I like to call flow and what the Buddhist call Nirvana. When you experience it once, you will go to great lengths to recapture that feeling. Work and familial duties are neglected, an unwise lack of sleep becomes appealing, and you start receiving worried texts from your friends. Messages of concern and welfare checks replace happy hour and girls night invitations.

(His Words) One text turns into one conversation, one conversation turns into four hours of conversation. It’s 4am and you realize you still don’t want to get off the phone. It’s 4am and you realize it’s been a decade since you’ve talked to a woman for this long. No matter how much you yawn or look at the time you don’t want to be anywhere else but in that moment with her. That moment is me falling and falling feels like the best uncertainty in the world.

Step Four- The Heart Wants What It Wants

(Her Words) When it’s right, you know. The superficial list of what you thought you wanted and what you thought you needed becomes like a seed that blows away in the wind. When your heart meets its complement, you know. You feel so comfortable that spending time together becomes second nature. It feels good. It feels natural. It fits you. It suddenly and unexpectedly takes root and there is no turning back.

(His Words) “I hate to see you cry but I love to see her smile.” Andre 3000 said something like that and I can’t agree with him more. Canceling plans to be with her, ignoring calls to be with her, sitting at home writing and reading because when you’re falling no woman compares to the woman that has set up shop in your heart and taken a hold of everything you are. No matter how hard you try to rationalize that it’s too soon, that it’s too early to have these feeling, your heart wants what it wants and once that happens it’s no turning back.

Step Five- Déjà vu

(Her Words) They say that Déjà vu exists as a sign to show you that you are exactly where you are supposed to be, experiencing exactly what you are supposed to be experiencing, with exactly who you are supposed to be experiencing it with.

(His Words) Have I been here before? When I’m with her it reminds me of my dreams, it reminds me of my desires. It reminds me of moments that feel like the best times of my life. Kiss me under the light of a 1000 stars, the moon shining bright, her eyes sucking me in as though a meteor is bearing down on me. This feels like Déjà vu because this feels like the beginning steps to forever.

Alone In A Crowded Room

Essence

Today will be different I tell myself. Walking down the sidewalk, beer in one hand, ice in the other. Today will be different. Most of the people inside will know your name, you like to talk so talk. Today will be different.

Standing around, saying my hellos, trying to make small talk. I realize something. Today may not be different. No matter how many people know my name or recognize my face I’m still alone in this crowded room. I used to think it was social anxiety then I thought it was just good old-fashioned introvert like behavior but now I’m not so sure it’s any of those things.

Sometimes I feel like something inside of me is broken. That piece of me that lets people in, that makes and keeps friends. Or maybe people just don’t like me. I’ve thought about that a lot to be honest. I know our generation isn’t supposed to care about such trivial things but I do.

My writing has made me known. So most of the time people will recognize my name as soon as I introduce myself. I like that feeling but what I’ve come to realize is that it’s a temporary feeling. This weekend I realized I have no friends. I know a lot of people, I occasionally talk to them but I have no real friends.
When the concept first hit me it scared me.

Now at 5:00am on a Monday morning I’m coming to accept it. I don’t know if this will always be the case but it’s the case now and I have to live with the hand I’ve been dealt. In my heart my wife will be my best friend so I won’t have to worry about this but that doesn’t mean I don’t think about it.

I can be at a book signing with a hundred people waiting for my autograph and feel like a stranger. I can be at a family holiday dinner and feel like I don’t know one person in the room. Sometimes it scares me how detached I am.

I want to blame this isolation on the writing but I’m not sure I can.

15 Things Every Woman Should Have

black dress

1. A little black dress.

2. A strapless bra.

3. A pair of black heels.

4. Quiet confidence.

5. A flat iron.

6. A curling iron.

7. Clear lip gloss.

8. Red lipstick.

10. A pair of jeans that fit perfectly.

11. A copy of Demez F. White’s book.

12. A set of black lingerie.

13. Candles.

14. Pearls.

15. A subscription to Vogue.

Losing God’s Gift

letter-xy6k4p Rubbing his fingers across the keys he closed his eyes and ignored the tears and the pain in his hands. He didn’t get excited anymore by the applause or packed Halls. They didn’t exist to him, all that existed was the music, the notes, the chords. With each press of the ivory keys he knew he was coming one step closer to never playing again. At the age of twenty four he’d played for two Presidents, a King and Queen, the Pope and more diplomats and stars then he could ever keep count of.

He didn’t own a car or home and there was no girlfriend or wife waiting on him. Music was his life; the piano was his wife, son, daughter and first love. Traveling around the world five times over he let out every bit of regret and emotion he had in what was to be his last performance.

Doctors in New York, Hong Kong, England and Johannesburg all told him the same thing in one way, shape or form, “You have an early onset of tendinitis and it’s highly unlikely you’ve ever be able to play the piano again but with medication and physical therapy you can live a normal life.” Some told him three months, some told him three weeks but they were all telling him his life was over.

Since he was four people told him that God gave him a gift very few people would ever have. He never read music even though he taught himself. Everything was played by ear, he was one with it. How do you live a life where the only thing you’ve ever loved has abandoned you? How do you wake up knowing for a quarter century that all your hard work and preparation to be quite possibly the most celebrated pianist of all time was now over?

Those questions plagued him, struck fear in him but tonight all he wanted was to make love to the keys one last time. Sweating, his eyes red, his hands feeling like a thousand knives were going into them he finished the show with an original piece he’d never played before. A piece no one in the audience would be familiar with. The intensity of the performance slowed to a slower tempo that spoke to the pain that was in his heart.

Finishing the performance, opening his eyes, rubbing the keys and walking off the stage for what would probably be his last performance he finally looked up when he realized they were all standing for him. Screaming and clapping and crying for him. As he took his bow, walking back to the dressing rooms the applause only got louder. The chants of his name only got louder.

They loved him because he could give them the release they desperately needed. Sitting down, placing his hands on the table he just stared at them and thought back to all the good times. Was he defeated or just hurt he thought.
Standing up, looking in the mirror, he realized if he was to lose his gift. He wouldn’t lose it in the steal of night; he’d lose it playing in front of thousands. Walking back out on the stage with to jacket, no bowtie, he didn’t even acknowledge the audience or the pain. He just sat down and fought over the gift God was taking away.

It Helps Make Me Better

1. When I first started writing, like really writing I found my best work, my motivation came from a woman. Having a woman call me, asking me to write her a particular story is everything! “Write me something nasty.” “Write me something smart.” “I read what you wrote last night I wasn’t feeling it.” For me, Demez, I appreciate smart. I like the idea of someone caring about not just my words but the quality if my words just as much as I do. What happens is if the woman I’m into doesn’t like to read or doesn’t do that then I’m going to have that connection with someone else.

2. Giving is caring. I always talk about what men need to do for women. How its our job to step up and set examples but it works both ways. My grandmother used to take my grandfathers shoes off and none of us ate before he did. I know we live in a different age but some practices are just universal.

3. Common Manners- Calling and asking if someone needs anything before you come to their home. Asking if anyone would like something to drink when they enter your home. Calling to make sure they made it home safe. Manners matter.

4. Flirting. Sexting. Pics that no other guy is going to see. Don’t make me ask.

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Real Men Open Doors: Seven Gentlemanly Traits That Cost Us Nothing

suits Real Men Open Doors: Seven Gentlemanly Traits That Cost Us Nothing

A big topic of conversation over the past several years has been about who pays for a date? Women want equality so if they invite you out shouldn’t they pay but on the other hand if a man has romantic intentions shouldn’t he pay? There’s no right or wrong answer, each situation is different. Each relationship, courtship and friendship has different levels, different dynamics. I personally always pay or offer to but we all have different finances and responsibilities.

This isn’t about that though. This is about simple things that don’t cost us anything but get us all sorts of goodwill.

Seven- Opening and holding open doors is slowly becoming a lost art. Not just with the women that smell good on date nights but anytime you see an elderly person, woman or child. It amazes me how women look almost surprised when I open their door. It only takes a couple of seconds and it’s appreciated.

Six- Yes ma’am and no sir- I was simply raised to address people older than myself as Mr. and Mrs. and yes sir and no ma’am. Nothing bothers me more than seeing children say, “Yeah” to someone twice their age. Being a grown man saying yes sir and no sir to men my grandfather’s or even father’s age is just a sign of respect.

Five- Giving up your seat. Whether its in a waiting room, on a train, a bus or a crowded restaurant bar if you’re sitting and a woman is standing offer her your seat. I’ve never worn heels but they aren’t made for standing in. I look at it this way. If it was my mother, grandmother, wife standing there I’d want a man to do it for them.

Four- Offer the last piece before you eat it. It could be cake, pizza, beer or just enough in the bottle for one more glass of wine. Ask would anyone else like this before you eat it. It’s the polite thing to do and manners tend to be contagious and attractive.

Three- It’s okay to tuck your shirt in at times, to wear a tie when it’s a casual setting. You can be overdressed, that’s fine. Society has become so casual. Slacks and a blazer to meet a friend for drinks is fine. A suit and tie on a first date doesn’t mean you’re trying too hard. Good cologne, a nice watch and clean shoes should be the norm.

Two- If someone is on the phone or not paying attention just try and make eye contact and say, “Excuse me.” Two simple words that take the rude aspect of interruption away. “Thank you,” works the same way. A person holds the elevator for you, compliments you, anything… Just say thank you.

One- It’s okay to look at beautiful women, just don’t stare. If a woman is fine she knows she’s being admired. Most women that are curvy can’t hide it. Hips, breasts, a nice butt tend to stand out. Gentleman don’t ever mention the obvious unless you know her. Compliment details other men miss. Her jewelry, her hair, her purse. Her perfume. Be confident and smile but just don’t stare. Until she walks away and then stare 🙂

Bands A Make Her Dance…

I really don’t remember when we became a generation where strippers became idols. Maybe it’s Twitter and FB or maybe it was the evolution of the video girl but either way it’s not real life.

No matter how much money guys trick at the strip club or how many likes a half naked pic gets on FB or Instagram guys still prefer the love and admiration from a woman that not everyone has seen naked.

As men we work to put the wife and kids in the suburbs with the good schools and annoying neighborhood civic associations. Putting a ring on a good girls finger will always out way blowing a couple hundred on a big booty chick. And getting a lap dance from your hard working, glowing fiancée who has no idea what twerking is… Is worth 50 dances a piece from every chick at Dreams. That’s my meaning of Bands A Make Her Dance.

Women are attracted to talent, to personality. It’s why a poet performing at Bambou Lounge on Sunday can pull the baddest chick in the room. It’s why an artist that has a bunch of canvases and a mattress on the floor as his only furniture can get a model. So that broke guy with the 300 dollar pawn shop engagement ring will get way better sex than the hedge fund manager that’s a little boring because there’s no substitute for chemistry.

And chemistry is what leads to those dances on a Monday night when she’s fresh out the shower. Only in a towel, cuts off Monday Night Football, cues up Beyonce and reminds you why you don’t just love her, but why you’re infatuated with her. Bands A Make Her a freak for only you and knowing that no man will see her like this as long as you’re alive is worth dying for.

Ten Romantic Ideas For the Winter…

I’m at work and the day is moving sort of slow, my wifi just won’t act right and who really works on a Friday anyway. So I’m going to give the world or the 12.3 people that read my blog some tips on how to be original, charming and romantic in these upcoming winter months. Nothing over the top that the average guy can’t afford but nothing like dinner and a movie either. Chicks get tired of the norm so give them something they can brag to their friends about. These are the key concepts to always keep in mind. Know your woman and what she will and won’t take to. Liquor and humor are your best friends and if push comes to shove always compliment the parts of her body that appeal to her ego. Don’t tell her she has a nice ass if she knows it’s flat or that I love your hair if you both know she shouldn’t have cut it. She loves her breasts so talk about her boobs, simple right? So read up and enjoy.

Ten: Houston is not a cold weather city which means our Winter is like most people’s Fall. This is not a bad thing at all because it allows women to still rock Fall clothing but not actually freeze. And fyi, very few women like being teeth chattering cold, unless she’s from Minnesota or something. And you want a Southern boo in your life anyway. So picnics are the perfect way of life. You can get a basket from Family Dollar, ready made fresh food and fruit from a HEB and of course wine. Chicks love wine. It won’t be humid or hot, there won’t be crazy mosquitoes, the tress will have that Fall color to the leaves and most important… When is the last time someone took her on an actual picnic? 

Nine: Take her shopping. But somewhere that you’re comfortable spending money and somewhere that you know she’ll like. I personally can’t afford to take a woman to Neimans and ball out but I do know several boutiques that are quite reasonable and have really cute clothes. She won’t try and break you and 9 times out of 10 she’ll ask you how much she has to spend. Women are sort of upfront like that when you’re sleeping together. If you’re not having sex, give her budget so there’s no confusion. If you want her, do the things to show her.

Eight: Two words… “Road Trip” my friends… Give her two weeks notice so she can get her affairs in check and tell her, “We’re going to Austin or Dallas next weekend, I already made the hotel reservations and got us tickets to blah blah blah.” Two words turn women on like nothing else. Tickets and reservations. Look, you aren’t taking her to Cabo for a week or Spain for the winter but you’re giving her a break and that’s all she really wants. Will you be required to do more in the future, yes, but for now this will do.

Seven: Take advantage of living in a really big, really pampery city. Houston probably has more spas per square mile than anywhere because we have all these mega communities like the Woodlands, Pearland, Sugarland and Katy. You go online, find a spa special where she gets a massage and mud treatment for a couple hours. Maybe you spend 120 and she has like three months to use it. So when she’s had a long day at work or a bad week she’ll remember that spa certificate, go use it and you’ll get all the residual effects from her good vibrations.

Six: Set her up a photo shoot. I’m being dead serious by the way. She’s on Facebook or Instagram all the time seeing women she knows she looks better than posting “model pics.” So tell her you know a guy with a studio and you set her something up, makeup artist are a dime a dozen in Houston, pay a chick 65 dollars to do her makeup professionally and make her dinner and work on a concept with her. She’ll complain about needing to get in shape or not having time but believe me she’ll be excited. Most women haven’t had an actual photo shoot since they graduated High School or College. Every woman has an inner model.

Five: Paintball, indoor rock climbing, laser tag. That mix between having fun and exerting energy. Lounges are great, bars are better and restaurants are cool but they do get old and sometimes you just need to let her shoot you in the face with a paintball gun. Or push you off a fake mountain so she can beat you. It’s fun and it’s different and it’ll allow her to buy some cool paintball clothes. I started off this blog by talking about how perfect our Winters are, I meant that. Running around and being a kid in 55 degree weather leads to amazing early nights and “in house” competition. Wink wink.

Four: I can’t take credit for this one because I stole it from Whitney while we were having a conversation but do you know how much time goes by when you’re playing with her iPod or she’s playing with yours looking at playlists, reminiscing about old songs. Making new lists and laughing about why this is on there or what happened to that guy. Music is so Universal, corporate women love Jeezy and UGK. The hardest guys love Al Green or Prince. A bottle or two of her favorite wine, a small bottle of Patron, a pizza and talking about and listening to music all night. You can’t make up those sorts of memories.

Three: Do something selfless. Take a Sunday morning, make sandwiches, get a bunch of Gatorades and go downtown and pass them out. Go to a nursing home and play dominoes with the elderly, just talk to them. Charity is going to allow you two to really appreciate how good you have it and by appreciating that you’ll appreciate each other more. This time of year is hard for a lot of families, helping them is going to give that relationship or courtship life.

Two: Take her to the gun range. Simple, efficient and you can’t imagine how much a woman will love shooting a gun until you see her shooting a gun.

One: Kiss her. Kiss her when you get in the car to go somewhere. Kiss her when she’s getting out the shower. Kiss her when you’re standing at the stove and she tries to steal a fry or carrot. There is power and love and lust and perfection in those stolen kisses.

 

 

Can You Turn A Hoe Into A Housewife? Maybe I Don’t Want A Housewife

The original topic of this post was “Can Hoes Be Rehabilitated?” However I have a standard to live up to and I didn’t think it was appropriate to use that word in a title. But it’s the same concept either way.

Let me first say that when I use the word “hoe” I’m speaking of any man, woman or little green creature from out of space that sleeps around with multiple people at a given time. Ex. Robert goes out with three women in seven days and sleeps with all three on a rotating basis. He’s not conflicted or “just living his life,” Roberts a hoe.

 

Let me also say that contrary to what we may think; there is no way of knowing who someone was before you met them. You can go buy by rumors and gossip if you’d like but that’s not real life. Unless you actually know guys that you trust that say, “Your girl used to get around.” I’d think it’s a bad investment to believe much of what you hear.

But back to the question at hand, regardless if you have proof or not you have a pretty good idea if the person you’re in a relationship with or falling for is a hoe or used to be. They’ll be conversations that come up, things he/she says and you’ll know.

The thing is… Have they changed? Can they change? And I personally think the answer to that question is yes.

Look. There’s lot of reasons why people turn to sex as a way of coping. They could have gotten played and they’re taking out their resentment on the opposite sex, they could have been raped or molested. Those are the extremes and if you read my writing you know I don’t deal in extremes, those people need help and most of the time once they find someone that’s willing to be patient with them they’ll resort to who they were before they were hurt.

I’m speaking or writing on the men/women that get around simply because they want to. It could be chicks that plane hop every weekend to have fun and talk to ballers. It could be guys that sleep around because they get bored quick or they just like sex and don’t want to settle down. Those are the people that do most of the ratchet and freaky things and I do think they can change.

I’ve known enough women in my life and if a woman is in her early 20’s and living life, sleeping with guys, drinking and partying, why is that wrong? From a social and mental standpoint? If she’s single and free why can’t she be a freak per say? It’s the same for a man… If he’s fresh out of high school or college and decides that he wants a different woman every week but is honest about it, who are we to judge? To be honest I think hoe’s make the best wives and husbands because unlike the people that have been in relationships since they were 18 and 19 these people have gotten it all out of their system.

She’s slept with everyone from paid guys to smart guys to foreign guys. So if she’s settled down now you know it’s because she had options but she wants to be here with you. She’s making a conscience choice to put up her hoe hat and accept that it’s out of her system. The same with men, he knows how easy it is to get laid, how easy it is to get a woman and he’s making the choice to want you now.

As a society we give people way too much grief for not living a cookie cutter life. We ask them to be honest, to just tell the truth and when they do we crucify them. Some people just like sex, they just like sex with different people and if they’re honest with you, you have the decision not to date them. But when they finish, when they decide they’re tired of living like that. Why can’t they take those years of running around and incorporate that into a successful relationship?

The women that are “hoes” per say usually have the cleanest homes, they can cook and they’re talented in knowing how to seduce a man. They’re ambitious and aggressive and expect so much out of the men they’re with. When she takes that and focuses it on making one man better as oppose to trying to game a bunch of guys she’s going to be the perfect wife. And men… Do you know any real players, guys with real game? They turn women out with text and one date. Flowers, meals, flirting, chivalry. If he takes that game and infuses if with genuine love and security for one woman she has the man of her dreams.  There’s life after hoe life.

I know a lot of you reading will be hesitant to believe this because you’ve been played or lied to but you could be reading this lying next to a reformed hoe right now and never even know it.

Don’t believe everything you read or hear. Her vagina isn’t going to feel like a 10ft pool just because she got around. His body won’t have scratch marks and names of ladies he’s checked off a list. Kegals are real and phone numbers change.

Accept people for who they are and love them for who they are in the moment.