Acceptance Leads to Happiness

Acceptance leads to change, growth, happiness. Though at times it might not feel like it. When you accept your limitations or a situation you accept the reality of your options.

It feels and sounds so incredibly noble to say, “I’ll never quit. I’ll never give up! I’ll fight until I can’t!” That can be noble, that can brave and that can also be foolish. Accepting that not every situation is meant to end in victory can save us so much time and energy and heartbreak.

It’s not just about accepting your limitations though, it’s also about accepting the potential greatness that we all have inside of us. When you limit yourself you’re placing a cap on your happiness. That’s self destructive.

The journey to happiness starts with acceptance no matter which road you take.

~ Demez F. White


I Don’t Know If I’m A Better Man Than Him but I’m A Better Man For You

20140721-194134.jpg I Don’t Know If I’m A Better Man Than Him but I’m A Better Man For You

I’m sure he’s a great guy, a good man. He probably calls you and asks if you need anything before he comes over. He opens your door and hugs you. But does your heart beat uncontrollably when you know he’s on the other side of that door? Does your body betray you and want him even when your mind is saying “wait?”

I know you’re comfortable around him. Your friends think he’s sweet, he calls you at just the right times, text you seconds after you text him. But does he push you against the door and take that kiss? Does he turn you around and kiss your shoulders, suck your shoulders? Or does he ask.

He believes in you but he doesn’t know how to motivate you.

He takes you dancing but has he ever whispered in your ear, “Dance for me baby.”

With him it’s peaceful and everything’s according to plan. You’re not that type of woman though. You like the occasional argument, the sex in inappropriate places, the road trips on a Wednesday just because.

I don’t know if I’m a better man than him but I know we make each other better. I know when we’re in bed it’s about more than sex, more than sleep. We touch each other without ever touching each other. You’re comfortable with him but with me you’re comfortable.

I once wrote that you’re single until you’re married and I meant that. I’d never try and take a woman that’s in a happy and healthy relationship but I’d by lying to you and myself if I didn’t recognize the obvious. He can’t make you as happy as I can make you.

I made a mistake. I opened that door for him. I have to live with the consequences of that. I don’t owe him anything, therefore if you have to break his heart for your heart to come home. So be it.

Or maybe this is all in my head and you never existed at all.


Does Anyone Object?

She wasn’t marrying a Senator or Congressman, he wasn’t famous enough to have security but walking thru the church doors my nerves were still shot.

There were way more people than I expected, three times more people than I expected. Almost every seat was full but I scanned and scanned until I found one on the 4th row.

I wasn’t use to wearing suits, I worked with my hands building things. So even though it cost me a months salary and was tailored it still felt wrong. Looking around I noticed some of her friends noticing me but I ignored them. There is no way they could know what was on my mind.

A week ago was the last time I saw her, the last time I kissed her. The last words she spoke to me sat in the pit of my stomach like a cement block.

“I know you love me and if I’m being honest with myself I’ll probably never want anyone as much as I want you… But want and love won’t give me the life my son and I deserve. You know my favorite sandwich and when I need a hug. He dedicates novels to me and named a restaurant after our future daughter. I choose him not only for the security but because he’ll never let me down. It’s not in him to hurt me, you’ve hurt me more times than I can count.”

Those were the last words she spoke to me and now I was here to breakup her wedding. Either she’d walk out of this church with me or I’d know her heart was with him.

The bridesmaids walked in with the groomsmen, the flower girl threw flowers and the music flowed. And then we stood, the lights dimmed and every eye turned to the door. There was a collective gasp as her beauty and sheer radiance swept thru the room.

My palms were sweaty and my first instinct was to close my eyes and ignore the rest of the ceremony but I stayed.

I watched her father give her to him, I watched him remove the veil from her face and even though I couldn’t hear their vows I could see their smiles.

“If there’s anyone here that objects to this union let them speak now or forever hold their peace.”

My legs felt like jello but I stood up.

“I object!”

The world went quiet…

To be continued.