10am Thoughts in Houston

Lounging on my couch, too tired to go write, hungry but not feeling like cooking breakfast I can’t help but to take stock on where I am in this search for a wife. Or for something more meaningful then a situationship.

I’ve been up trying to wonder when’s the last time a woman cooked for me. Breakfast, lunch, dinner? I literally can’t remember. Then I tried to think when’s the last time someone showed up at my home and surprised me with food or wearing something sexy. I can’t remember that.

It seems I’m always the giver. Financially, emotionally, sexually. I’m always the one that has to please, not really asking for much because I don’t want to have to ask. If you like or love someone it should just come natural.

Starting the year I had so much hope. I still have hope but there has to be something in my character that pushes people away.

My Christmas tree is still up; I keep telling myself its because I’m being lazy but it’s more than that. I think it’s the only thing that makes my home feel homey. I’ll take it down before the weekend but for the next day or so I’ll just look at it.

There’s things I miss. Things I need to find in 2014 or else hope may not be enough.

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Daddy’s Home

“I tried to make them go to bed three times and each time they would just sneak back down to wait on you.”

What was supposed to be a two day trip turned into a week. I try not to make promises to them I can’t keep but last night I promised I’d be home today. It was worth it, coming home to them knowing they were warm and safe and happy.

“Julian is going to say it was his idea to come down here but you know it was Emma.”

Picking Julian up, carrying him to his room it felt like he’d grown a foot in just a week. Even when they slept they had to be in matching pajamas. Standing in the door, watching him sleep I could hear them fussing. I know a lot of it was my fault, I never took our daughters side but I was also not very hard on her.

“Daddy, I just wanted to say goodnight to you and mommy is making me go to bed and you said you would read me and Jules a story and you never came!”

My wife gave me that look like, “You better not,” so I kneeled down kissed her on the forehead and tucked her in.

“Daddies sorry but you have to listen to your mother. I’m not taking anymore trips for awhile so I’ll read you and your brother a story tomorrow.”

Sitting on the bed, undoing my tie I could feel her arms reaching around me, “Leave the tie on.” However tired I was feeling went away that fast.

Taking a sip of scotch, watching her dance in the middle of our bedroom. No music, no stage, but her face so serious. Her hips and eyes so fucking serious. Stepping closer putting her finger in my mouth I sucked, she took that same finger and slid it inside her panties. Offering it to me again I sucked harder, this time picking her up and sitting her on my lap.

“I missed you so fucking much!”

I hated leaving but nights like this made coming home so worth it.

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All I Want For Christmas…

fancy boxWatching her work the candy cane, in-between her lips, rubbing it from the edge of her breast to right below her belly button. I honestly didn’t know where she got the energy, we’d been to two parties and wrapped at least fifty gifts. Walking out the bedroom seeing her sitting on the edge of the kitchen table my mouth dropped.

Red lace bra and panties, red heels, red thigh high stockings and a Santa hat. One candy cane was in her hand and one was sitting between her legs. I leaned against the counter and took it all in.

“So it’s officially Christmas, do you want your gift now?

“Yes.”

She stood on top of the table and kicked everything on the floor. Wrapping paper, tape, it all went flying.

“Hit play for me.” Her iPod was hooked up to the dock in the kitchen. I pressed play.

“Come sit down and don’t move!”

Imma take this time to show you how much you mean to me
‘Cause you are all I need
No money can emphasize or describe the love that’s in between the lines
Boy look into my eyes
When I’m grinding on you, this is beyond sex
Boy I’m high on you, and if it’s real
Then you know how I feel
Rocking on you, babe, rocking, rocking, on you, babe
Swirling on you, babe,
In my mind all I can think about is a frame for our future
And the pictures of the past,
And a chance to make this love last, oh, oh

I once read that you learn something new every day. Well, today I was learning that my girlfriend must have been a stripper in a former life because she was standing on our kitchen table moving like I was throwing hundreds. Playing with the candy cane in her mouth.

She fell to her knees on the table and started grinding and moving like her body was connected to the rhythm. Never taking her eyes away from me, I squeezed the candy cane in my hand so hard it broke, she laughed and sat on the table. Her legs open and the peppermint tapping what was hiding inside her lace cheekies.

“You sure you want your Christmas gift now?” I smiled and shook my head yes.

“We’re going to play a little game, it’s called follow the leader. Wherever I put this candy cane you have to put your tongue there. And if you play the game right, wherever you put your tongue… you get to put your candy cane. And I promise I’ll only suck, no biting.”

Tonight I’m gonna dance for you, oh-oh
Tonight I’m gonna dance for you, oh-oh
Tonight I’m gonna put my body on your body
Boy I like it when you watch me, ah
Tonight it’s going down
I’ll be rocking on my babe, rocking, rocking on my babe,
I’ll be swirlin’ on my babe, swirlin’, swirlin’ on you babe
I’m gonna put my body on your body
Promise not to tell nobody
‘Cause it’s about to go down!

Watching her pull her panties to the side and slide the candy cane in all I could do was bite my lip and thank Santa Clause. This was going to be a great Christmas.

A House Is A Home When…

There’s more than one toothbrush in the toothbrush holder.

When you go to the store and buy cereal you hate because she loves them.

When you call her at work to see if she’s coming over knowing she’s coming over but you just didn’t feel like going to the store.

When you sleep with the ceiling fan on even though it’s 47 degrees outside because that’s what she wants.

You feel guilt for washing your car and not washing hers.

You come home and it smells like cookies or a cake or any sort of food.

You can’t jam mixtapes but have to jam Christmas music because she’s spent everyday since Thanksgiving making a reef that’s going to be God awful but you have to put it on the door anyway or risk sleeping with one eye open.

You check the mailbox and realize she’s already gotten the mail even though all her mail goes to the apartment she’s never at.

You log out of your Facebook when you go to the shower because you’ve spent the last year before her flirting with women on FB chat don’t know care or don’t realize your house is now a home.

You realize your pots and pans no longer stick and the towels in your bathroom all match.

When she hints that she’s going to hold a girls night and you should go out with the brother or homeboys you’ve been neglecting ever since you met her pretty ass.

Your bed is no longer cold and empty but warm and holding a woman you love.

Your shower has been invaded by soaps and lotions that smell like Heaven.

She’s parked in your driveway and doesn’t move to get behind you when you tell her you’re on the way home. She’ has no plans on going anywhere until she goes to work in the morning.

You put up Christmas lights even though you had no intentions to because you know her father put them up every year and she misses him most around the holidays.

You realize none of the things you recorded on DVR are there. They’ve been replaced by shows that make you gag but you’re too scared to erase them.

You decided that you’re going to wear that really comfortable pair of pajama pants that should have been retired a long time ago because she’s now started to sleep in her hair wrap.

When you feel like she’s mad at you simply because she wanted to sleep in her own bed at her ghost apartment that night.

When your guest room actually has guest.

When you’ve been writing all night and find her sleeping on the couch because she didn’t want to sleep in the bed without you. So you pick her up, carry her to bed, undress her even though she’s not really sleep anymore and lie her on her back while kissing her on the forehead. Because going to take a shower and fix lunch for the next day just doesn’t right if the woman that has turned your house into a home is on the couch.

Candy Canes, Mistletoe and Freaky Things… (Explicit Content)

I walked thru the door and to say I was drunk was an understatement, the plane ride from Chicago was like two and a half hours and I hated flying. The only way I made it with my sanity was to get wasted! I was supposed to be home at like eight but my publisher wanted to take me for a drink once the car picked me up so I went. Didn’t want to be a spoiled author even though it was like two days before Christmas. Now walking inside my home, my tie undone, my luggage leaning against the kitchen wall. I was wondering where the hell my wife was?

She wasn’t in the den, I walked to the upstairs lounge room, she wasn’t in there.

“ERICA! ERICA!”

Where the hell was she, both out cars were in the garage and I talked to her when I got off the plane, she wasn’t the happiest person in the world that I’d went for that drink. I walked to everywhere except where I probably should have started…. The Master Bedroom.

I opened the door and she was standing by the window, a glass of eggnog on the dresser. A candy cane in her mouth; red suede boots, a Santa hat and a red silk robe. I was instantly sober and instantly ready to make my son or daughter, it really didn’t matter. Walking towards her, stumbling slightly, I could tell she was pouting, she was spoiled. It was my fault.

She grabbed my tie and pushed me in the chest.

“I MADE YOU!”

She was loud and obviously drunk but sexy as hell!

“HOW THE FUCK DID YOU MAKE ME?!”

I was loud and drunk, horny as hell!

“BEFORE ME, WHAT WERE YOU WRITING ABOUT?”

I tried to wrap my arms around her but she jumped on top of the bed and started moving her body to the Christmas music, this woman could dance to anything. I swear she was a stripper in a past life.

“I DON’T KNOW, I WAS WRITING ABOUT LIFE, LOVE…”

“WRONG DEMEZ! YOU WERE WRITING ABOUT SHIT NO ONE CARED ABOUT! I BROUGHT PASSION TO YOUR WORDS, EXCITEMENT TO YOUR STORYLINES! I GAVE YOU THE DRAMA YOU WANTED SO DESPERATELY!”

So me cursing her out, hitting her ex in the head with a bottle, having angry sex in the backseat of cars… That motivated my writing?

“SO BECAUSE YOU’RE CONSTANTLY FUCKING WITH MY EMOTIONS AND LYING TO ME, YOU’RE TAKING CREDIT FOR MY BOOK SALES!?”

She just looked at me and unwrapped the candy cane.

“IF YOU WANT TO PUT IT LIKE THAT, YES!”

“THAT’S BULLSHIT AND YOU KNOW IT! MAYBE YOU WERE THE INSPIRATION BEHIND A STORY OR TWO BUT THAT’S WHERE IT ENDS…”

“BOY PLEASE! I DON’T HAVE TO WRITE THE STORY, I PROVIDE THE IDEAS! THAT’S WHY YOU’RE STILL HERE BECAUSE YOU KNOW NO ONE IS GOING TO MOTIVATE YOU THE WAY I DO! NO ONE IS GOING TO PUSH YOU TO THE BRINK THE WAY I DO! YOU’RE NOT LIKE REGULAR GUYS; YOU DON’T SUCCEED WHEN

 YOU’RE HAPPY! YOU DO YOUR BEST WORK WHEN YOU’RE PISSED OR STRESSED OR HURT! I BRING OUT ALL THOSE EMOTIONS IN YOU, UNINTENTIONALLY OF COURSE.

She smiled and stepped off the bed, I could see her nipples poking thru the silk, her thighs peeking thru the small, thin robe.

“I’M NOT GOING TO KEEP HAVING THIS CONVERSATION WITH YOU, KISS ME!”

I wrapped my arms around her again, we were loud! And drunk!

“WHY SHOULD I KISS YOU?! YOU WON’T EVEN GIVE ME CREDIT FOR YOUR SUCCESS.”

“YOU REALLY WANT TO TAKE CREDIT FOR MY SUCCESS, WHAT DO YOU WANT BABY, I PLAQUE?”

“I DON’T NEED ALL THAT, THERE’S NO ONE IN THIS ROOM… BUT ME, YOU AND SANTA. WITH HIM AS OUR WITNESS, I WANT YOU TO SAY I MADE YOU?”

Her lips were inches from my face, her breath smelt like peppermint; my hands were on her ass. It was so soft.

“THAT’S WHAT I NEED TO SAY TO GET A KISS?”

“THAT’S WHAT YOU NEED TO SAY TO GET A KISS…”

“WHAT IF I TOLD YOU I JUST DON’T WANT A KISS THAT BAD?”

 “I WOULD TELL YOU THAT YOU’RE A LIAR BECAUSE YOU HAVEN’T STOPPED LOOKING AT ME SINCE YOU GOT HOME!”

She was looking thru me, I couldn’t lie to her, I could never lie to her. I was about to explode but I couldn’t give in that easily.

“OKAY… BETWEEN YOU, ME AND SANTA… YOU HAD A BIG IMPACT ON MY WRITING.”

“THAT’S NOT GOOD ENOUGH PAPI… CHU HAVE TU DO BETTA! IF YOU WANT WHAT’S UNDER THIS MISTLETOE YOU’LL SAY WHAT YOU NEED TO SAY SILLY.”

She spoke fluent Spanish and she would break out the accent whenever she was feeling freaky, kinky.

“BEFORE YOU, I WAS LACKING THE PROPER MOTIVATION. YOU MADE ME A BETTER WRITER, MY BOOK WOULDN’T BE WHAT IT IS IF IT WASN’T FOR YOU.”

I was trying to sweet talk her, my lips were on her ear, my right hand was on her nipple. I knew she could feel me thru my pants.

“OKAY… OKAY… WE’RE GETTING CLOSE, FOR THAT YOU GET A KISS. COME HERE…”

Her tongue almost made me scream, the way it rolled around in my mouth, the way her lips sucked just right. She used her teeth to tease, not to bite. I was weak for this chick.

“NOW, YOU LIKED THAT DIDN’T YOU? YOU WANT MORE BABY?”

“YOU KNOW I DO.”

“WELL SAY IT, “ERICA, YOU MADE ME.”

I couldn’t say it! I couldn’t give her that kind of control over me!

“IS THIS SORT OF DOMINATION THING FOR YOU?”

“I’M DRESSED IN A SANTA HAT, RED SUEDE BOOTS AND A SHEER RED ROBE. MAYBE I’M WEARING PANTIES, MAYBE I’M NOT, YOU WON’T FIND OUT UNTIL YOU TELL ME WHAT I WANT TO HEAR DEMEZ.”

She was raising her robe just enough for me to see her upper thigh, just enough for me to want to put my fingers in. I loved how hot she got, how wet she got. GOD! I missed that so much. I pulled the box out of my pocket, it was a sunflower shaped diamond on a thin platinum chain. It cost me a fortune but she was worth it.

“I GOT YOU SOMETHING.”

Her eyes lit up.

“OH MY GOD! THAT IS BEAUTIFUL! WHERE DID YOU GET IT?!”

“FROM THIS JEWELRY SHOP IN CHICAGO, THEY IMPORT EVERYTHING FROM SPAIN; IT’S A ONE OF A KIND NECKLACE.”

“PUT IT ON! PUT IT ON!”

She turned around, her back was facing me. The back of her neck, her ass, her legs, it took everything in me not to bend her over and take it right then and there!

“I CAN’T DO THAT BABY GIRL, NOT WHILE YOU’RE STILL WEARING THAT ROBE. SO WE HAVE A PROBLEM, I CAN’T TELL YOU YOU MADE ME AND YOU WON’T GIVE ME WHAT I’VE BEEN CRAVING SINCE I GOT OFF THE PLANE BECAUSE I WON’T SAY IT. SO WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?”

“HOW ABOUT I SHOW YOU WHAT SANTA HAS FOR YOU IF YOU DO WHAT I SAY AND BE A GOOD BOY.”

The robe opened and there were no panties, no bra, just skin and music. She had a piece of mistletoe in her robe pocket, she took it out and held it in her hand, over my heaven.

“THAT’S NOT FAIR.”

“WHY ISN’T IT FAIR DEMEZ, NO ONE TOLD YOU TO DO ALL THAT DRINKING ON THE PLANE? NO ONE TOLD YOU TO MARRY SOMEONE THAT COULD GET THIS WET. THAT COULD DO AMAZING THINGS WITH CANDY CANES. DO YOU WANT TO TASTE THIS CANDY CANE HUSBAND? DO YOU WANT TO KISS UNDER THE MISTLETOE?”

She was sticking the candy cane in and out of her, putting it in her mouth and back inside of her. I fell to my knees in the middle of the floor.

“I WANT TO TASTE THAT CANDY CANE, I WANT TO TASTE YOU, I KNEW YOU WEREN’T WEARING PANTIES BY THE WAY.”

“DID YOU REALLY KNOW THAT?”

“I HAD A GOOD FEELING.”

“JUST SAY IT AND YOU CAN HAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE IN WHATEVER PLACE YOU LIKE. WATCH THE CANDY CANE DEMEZ, THIS COULD BE YOU.”

She was doing amazing things with the candy cane, my mouth was watering.

“THIS NECKLACE COST A SMALL FORTUNE, YOU COULD HAVE IT.”

I held it up like it was a gold medal at the Olympics.

“WE BOTH KNOW I’M GOING TO GET THE NECKLACE ANYWAY AND WE BOTH KNOW YOU’RE GOING TO GET TO PUT YOUR MOUTH HERE ANYWAY. BUT WHAT WE DON’T KNOW IS WHETHER OR NOT THAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN TONIGHT?”

“DO I REALLY NEED TO SAY IT?”

“YOU’VE BEEN ON THIS BOOK TOUR FOR TWO WEEKS, YOU’VE FORCED ME TO TOUCH MYSELF AND PLAY WITH TOYS WHILE YOU WERE AWAY! YOU’VE BEEN FLIRTING WITH THOSE GEEKY BOOK BITCHES AND YOU PROBABLY HAD A DRINK OR TWO WITH THEM. SO YES, IN ORDER TO TASTE HEAVEN, I NEED YOU TO SAY IT TO BABY.”

Her eyes were full of confidence, she knew she had me. I knew she had me. I wanted to be that candy cane so bad.

“YOU’RE ARROGANT, YOU KNOW THAT?”

“BUT YOU LOVE MY WET, SEXY, FINE, ARROGANT ASS!”

“YOU MADE ME ERICA. BEFORE YOU MY LIFE WAS PRETTY BORING, AFTER YOU… I’M COMING HOME TO A WOMAN STICKING A CANDY CANE IN HER VAGINA.”

I said it, fuck it, I sacrificed my self respect to get in-between those legs. Was I weak? Probably…

“THAT’S ALL YOU HAD TO SAY MR. NEW YORK TIMES BEST SELLING AUTHOR… COME HERE!”

 Before her I was a good writer, after her I am a GREAT WRITER!

I took off my jacket, my tie, my shirt, my pants… She laid back on the bed looking at me, smiling at me.

“Come put it in baby, claim what’s yours.”

“What do you want in your stomach, a boy or a girl?”

“Let’s work on a boy tonight, you’ll have to hit it from the back for that baby. At least that’s what I heard.”

She threw her robe on the floor, bent over on our California King, her Santa hat on, the red suede boots on the bed. I licked my fingers, I could taste the peppermint. I placed them inside, she was so warm, so wet. I wanted to taste her but I needed to be inside her, I slid in smooth, she flinched, tightened up. I loved that feeling of first entering, there was nothing like it.

 “Merry Christmas Demez.”

3 Things To Do On Christmas Eve With That Special Someone… (Adult Version)

Mistletoe, Candy canes and Bows

I walk thru the door, she’s naked lying on the couch. A piece of mistletoe lying right above her clit, right below her bellybutton. A bow, something candy, something sweet sitting on her lips and a candy cane in her hand.

Champagne and orange juice in one bag; patron and rum in the other bag. No dark liquor tonight, it’s Christmas Eve.

You can use your imagination for the rest.

Photo Shoots, Santa Hats and Ass Shots

Men like nasty, we love nasty but just like with anything else we want it selfishly and in moderation. We want men to see our women in her tight jeans and cute sweater, to see her in the pencil skirt and blouse, four inch heels and want her but respect her.

Christmas Eve, it’s just you and I so fuck being a lady. That’s for the family tomorrow and the co-workers at the Christmas Party. We can turn the Holiday Decorations into a Nasty Winter Wonderland Photo Shoot.

You standing in front of the Christmas Tree in a Santa Hat and red heels, doing things that would get you on Santa’s naughty list. You baking ginger bread men that have extremely large penises and enjoying the pictures you’re taking with them.

This is the age of technology, we have printers that are photo quality. No one will see these but us, no FB albums here. No pics on cell phones, straight cameras, the internet disconnected.

No Panties, No Birth Control and Amazing Gifts

What’s the best gift I think I could ever get… It’s me coming home to a wife telling me she’s stopped taking her birth control and she’s ready to have my son. No lingerie, no gimmicks, just her standing there in front of the Christmas tree with a smile on her face and a pair of booties or something. The toddler kind, not the Gucci kind.

Christmas is about giving and her saying something like that to me on Christmas Eve would be the best gift I could ever get, it would be the best sex we would ever have and more than that it would be the best thing she could ever do for herself in a selfish way. Because I would change her life, I would do everything humanly possible to make sure she never went a day without smiling.

Merry Christmas Beautiful People!!!