Nights That Turn Into Forevers

Dear Future Wife,

I can’t take care of a woman at this point in my life. It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just not in my budget. I’d love to spoil you, treat you, fly you out to every book signing. Give you the option to work or not. I need 3 years, maybe 4. We can pay bills together, save together, stress and struggle together. Give me that and I promise I’ll give you the world.

~ A Hello
~ A First Date
~ A Courtship
~ An Engagement
~ Watching You Walk Down the Aisle
~ A Daughter that Looks Like You
~ A Son that’s as Smart As Me
~ A Couple of Forevers
= Happily Ever After

Love Always and Forever,


5 Perfect Proposals…Love, Lust and Obligation

I’m entitling this Love, Lust and Obligation because I imagine when the day comes that I do get married I’ll marry for one of those three reasons. Hopefully all three.

Love because love is universal, it’s everlasting; it’s everything we make it out in our mind to be.

Lust because I want the woman I give this ring to too know I want to kiss her, taste her, lick her, touch her, smile at her every day that I’m physically and mentally capable. And I need for her to need me that same way. I’m no good without passion.

Obligation is simple, if she’s to be my wife I’m obligated to make sure her dreams come true. My success is her success; I’m obligated to make sure she never wants for a thing. My grandfather did it for grandmother and I made a promise to myself that when my day came I would hold my wife down in the same manner.

I know my writing can be incredibly cakey at times but understand this is sort of how my mind works. Some days I want to write about sex, some days dramatic fiction and some days I just feel the need to be romantic. To imagine the moments when I’ll have this happy ending.

These won’t be incredibly long, this is sort of a quickie note, so enjoy it!

Proposal One- Flowers Midnight and Simplicity

Grand gestures of romance are a great thing and they have their place. I saw a clip about three months ago where this guy set up an entire movie around a proposal. I thought that was incredibly creative but to be honest, it doesn’t take all that to make it memorable. Perfect moments don’t have to be youtube moments. I buy a lot of flowers, they’re cheap and the flower district off of Fannin is open 24hrs. Plus women love them, there’s just something about flowers that are sensual. And since most men are trying their best to be extra hard or only buy them when the moment is obvious it’s always cool to have ‘just because’ flowers.

Step One- You only need these flowers for one night, maybe the next morning. So go to the flower district and get the flowers that only have a couple of days to live. You can get them cheap and they’ll be happy to get rid of them because they’re throwing them away anyway. The more the better, you want to fill the entire living room or apartment with flowers. Vases are even cheaper, maybe five dollars. You may spend a hundred on 20 or so vases but you only propose once in life.

Step Two- Get good wine, not like Ralston’s or Kroger’s good but chilled and aged good. You can tell the difference. I would say champagne but champagne isn’t that great to me, wine is just sexier. It’s going to be midnight so you don’t have to worry about food, maybe breakfast food for the next morning.

Step Three- If she has a job she’ll be in bed before midnight, so encourage her to get in bed. If she’s a night owl, make up an excuse so that she won’t leave the bedroom. Run her this amazing bath so she’ll soak for an hour. The setup shouldn’t take any time. You’re only doing one room. Flowers in vases all over the place, the floor, the counter top, on top of the TV. Give it a Japanese Garden feel.

Step Four- At exactly midnight go get her out of bed, out the bath, off the computer. Walk her into the room and let her take in everything. A candle or two burning, flowers everywhere and the bottle of wine sitting in the middle. If she’s a ‘I love a man in a suit type’ wear a suit. If she’s just a cool chick, rock gym shorts and a tee. But make it about what she likes. Get down on one knee, say what you need to say to express how you feel. Let it all out, don’t hold anything back.

Proposal Two- Chocolate Strings and Memories

Step One- All women have a thing for chocolate, even women that don’t like chocolate appreciate good chocolate. Godiva is universal, maybe get some dipped fruit, some chocolate covered almonds. Get a medley of chocolate covered treats.

Step Two- Hire a violinist, musicians are cheap for the most part. They’re struggling artist. I would say get a hotel room and have him set up on the balcony. A suite though, not some small room that the three of you will be standing side by side in. Let hotel personal know so the noise won’t bother anyone. Set the chocolate up on a table.

Step Three- (And this will be a theme of the night) Tell her to meet you there, let the chocolate scent dominate the room. Make sure the violinist is dressed in his tux and when she walks in, just hold her hand or kiss her or touch the small of her back and let her know this is for her. Like she doesn’t know it already.

Step Four- Give the musician a signal to lower the music, women love men that are in control of the situation. Sit her on the bed or the couch and get on both knees in front of her. Look at her and smile, take out the ring and just ask.

Step Five- After she says yes and the musician is gone, after you’ve made love and she’s gushed about how sweet everything is. Give her a scrap book, something that tells the story of your courtship, your romance. Pictures, emails, FB stuff. Let her know how much she means to you. Not only did you go out of your way but now you’ve went ‘out of your way!’

Proposal Three- Go Big or Go Home!!!

Step One- The biggest, prettiest wedding ring you can afford. Calling, texting, emailing, face to face with every person she’s cool with. Co-workers, friends, family. Invite them all, rent out a ballroom, invite them to your home. Just make it a lot of people that love her.

Step Two- Send her something at work every couple of hours. First the shoes, next the dress and then by lunch she’s losing her mind waiting on the next gift. Make it jewelry, food, a vibrator. Just make the last gift something that relates to an inside joke the two of you had.

Step Three- Show her it’s real, get her name tattooed on you. And this isn’t me just talking, I’m all in when I go in. If I love her enough to get married I’ll love her a enough to get my first tattoo. When she walked thru that door shocked and crying, you smile at her. Stand in the middle of that room and tell the world about the tattoo, tell the world about how it felt to put all this together. Tell them why your life would be shit if she wasn’t in it.

Proposing to someone is something I think every time I go on a date. Every time I get a text or email. It’s not that I’m ready to marry just anyone but I love the idea of perfect proposals going into perfect weddings.


Taking Another Man’s Wife…

“It’s late, I’m tired, what are you doing here?”

“I’m here to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving. I have wine and your favorite pie fresh from my mother’s oven.”

She was sitting on my porch, her legs crossed, wine in one hand and the sweet potato pie in the other. Thanksgiving was yesterday was what I wanted to tell her but she knew as well as I did that I wasn’t going to turn her away. Yesterday she was with her husband, their child, she was with her family. Yesterday I watched her post picture after picture with cousins and aunts and… him. Yesterday she was the happy wife and I got the “Happy Thanksgiving” text. And tonight she wanted me to forget all that. How do you forget that?

“I’ve been out here for an hour; why is your phone off?”

The funny thing is she was serious. She wasn’t sitting anymore, standing in front of my door, questioning me about why my phone was off when there was a ring on her finger.

“Go home to your family Kacey.”

I was tired, I couldn’t blame her though. I knew what I was getting into the moment we met. I knew her situation, I knew she loved him. But what I didn’t know is that I would fall in love with her. What I couldn’t see was that I’d grow to resent her for letting him touch her. What scared me is that when my feelings should have been fading all I could think about was how much I missed her. ”He’s at the Rockets game with his brothers and after that they’re going to the casino; my son is spending the night at my sisters. I have the whole night; we can cook and decorate that tree. You can wash my back in the shower, I’m yours tonight. We can do all the stuff you write about tonight.” Her smile was my kryptonite and her kiss was my cyanide.

She thought she was doing me a favor by giving me tonight but what I couldn’t explain to her, what I could probably never explain to anyone is that getting a piece of her gave me a hope that I knew wasn’t really there. Having her lie in a bed next to me, even if it was only for an hour or two would break my resolve. Our relationship… our affair wasn’t about the stolen moments in hotel rooms or backseats. It was about both of our loneliness. Mines because I’d fallen in love to a woman that took a vows with another man and hers because she was in a marriage that was a lie. We fed off each other’s vulnerability, each others fears, her tears aroused me and my emotion made her wet. I was the fuse, she the spark and it was just a matter of time before shit went… BOOM!