Effort Is A Reflection of Interest…

a pink gift box“I’ve just been so busy with work.”

“If you can’t understand that I had a life before you…”

“I got your phone calls; I answer every third time you call.”

People can make up hundreds of excuses as to why they aren’t available when you need them to be available. But what we all know whether or not we want to admit it is that when someone wants to be around us they will find a way. Now this doesn’t mean if I call tonight I’m seeing her tonight but it does mean she’ll make the effort to see me sooner rather than later.

When I was younger I can admit I was all about playing the game. I get your number on a Wednesday, God forbid I call you on a Thursday. We have a really good date on a Friday, how dare I ask you out on that Sunday? That was the young me, the me that didn’t want to seem to pressed or anxious, the one that didn’t want to be called a “bug a boo” this was pre-thirst era. Now, I could really care less because of she’s worth my interest she’s going to be worth my effort and even a little bit of my pride. I’ve never met a woman that didn’t like a tastefully aggressive and assertive man. Playing this, “if she likes me, she’ll call,” role isn’t for us. Because the effort that we’re too cool to make, another man that doesn’t even have her interest will get a foot in the door while we’re trying to be cool.

I read something today that someone wrote on a post and I couldn’t agree with it more. When a woman thinks you’re funny, handsome, charming, interesting, etc… Texting her at 2am or calling while she’s getting ready for work makes her day. But if you’re that borderline guy that’s only getting her attention because the man she wants is not living up to his promise, those calls and texts become so annoying. That’s why I always laugh on the inside when guys buy books on, “How to get women.” There’s no formula, if she thinks you’re worth her time, she’ll make the effort. Even if that effort is just talking to you for five minutes outside of the gas station or reminding you that she see’s all the flirting you do. Be yourself and be confident and watch.

What I wish I would have known five years ago, hell, two years ago. Those moments when I was broke or needed a haircut or wasn’t happy I ignored some really cool women, blew them off because I couldn’t “impress” them. And now I realize that making an effort to simply let your interest be known matters way more than appearances. Some of my best encounters have been meeting and walking at the park, eating candy and people watching. Going to happy hours with twenty dollars in my pocket and two dollar margaritas. When you make the effort and you’re confident and honest and she see’s that you’re not where you want to be but everyday is a step forward. She’ll appreciate it and you may have only spent 15 dollars plus a tip but you paid the bill and were wearing really good cologne while doing it.

Make the effort and take a chance at doing better in life because regardless of what you think. Women do make us better!

4 Ways to Help Him Through A Quarter Life Crisis

20140822-233539.jpg I’d never complain about being a man. I have no problem saying I’d suck at cramping or being pregnant and I definitely wouldn’t take to constant Facebook messages or sexual harassment too well. No, I love being a man but there’s one thing that we can all admit. It’s not okay for a man to show weakness or to be vulnerable with everyone. Don’t mistake this with it’s okay to not have emotions or to talk, it’s just not okay unless she means something to you.

Expectations are an amazing thing. They often force us to reach heights we didn’t even know we could reach but there’s also the weight of expectations that can be heavy on our pride and mental makeup. You reach a certain age and you aren’t feeling as accomplished as you should be, it’s not an easy thing to deal with. You can become withdrawn, depressed and some may see it as feeling sorry for yourself but it’s bigger than that. You don’t stop living or working, you just stress more. Having a woman there to take some of that stress away, some of that edge away, that makes all the difference in the world.

“I’m Proud of You.” This may seem small or insignificant but hearing this from the right woman when you’ve had a bad day or bad month or didn’t reach a goal you set for yourself. It fixes everything in that moment. You look at her eyes or hear her voice and you just feel as though you can take on the world in spite of any obstacles that come your way. “I’m proud of you,” means you believe in me. It means you see the small steps I’m taking and are just as excited about those as you are about the big steps.

“Dance With Me.” I love silly, serious women. That’s a thing. Women that are about their business and work and are busy but when she’s with you she has that silly side, that playful side, that laugh that you know not too men have gotten to see. She sees you at your desk writing or sitting on the couch sulking and she grabs your hand and shakes her hips and says, “come dance with me Mez” and in those moments where you’re feeling her body and her energy and holding her waist her hands or grabbing her ass you feel better. Holding her, dancing with her is better than alcohol, sex, Crave cupcakes. It’s better because it’s organic, it’s in the moment, it’s intimate in the most non-sexual but sensual way.

“I Told Someone About You.” There are a lot of ways to show a man you love him or care about him. There are a lot of ways to show affection or to cheer someone up. You can never go wrong with sex or a bottle of his favorite liquor or his favorite meal. But for me nothing puts a bigger smile on my face than knowing a woman wants professional success for me just as much as I do. When she calls or text saying, “A friend told me they needed a writer so I mentioned you.” Or “I know you haven’t been happy where you are so I was looking online and I saw this,” and she sends me a link to a company or opportunity. Those little gestures have such a huge impact because you know she’s selfless and your happiness means that much to her.

“Come to Bed.” One of the first things to go when you’re stressing or not happy is sleep. Some men drink themselves to sleep, others take whatever pill they can find. Some just scroll social media all night or try and work. When a woman comes and rubs your neck or back and pulls you off the couch or out of your office and says, “come to bed” you do it. Maybe she doesn’t want to sleep alone, can’t sleep without your warmth but more than that she just wants to have you close. There’s so much intimacy in those before dawn conversations about life, work, family, stresses. Her semi naked body wrapped around yours, her head on your chest and that conversation is therapy. Maybe it ends in earth shattering sex but it’s not about that. It’s about that connection, that bond that’s being strengthened. Even if you only get a couple hours of sleep there’s comfort in knowing she can’t sleep without you.

She Don’t Love You; She’s Just Lonely

She Don’t Love You She Just Lonely
Days like today when she calls you and says she just wants to hear your voice, days like today when she sends you a text smiling and asking you what you’re doing. Days like today is her being lonely, it’s not you or what you’re doing; it’s what I’m not doing.

I don’t doubt you’re a good man, I don’t doubt you care about her and love her and treat her better then myself or any man ever has. I don’t even doubt that a part of her cares for you but she’ll never love you because you aren’t me. She’ll never love you because no matter how good of a man you are you’ll never touch her soul like I touched her soul. You’ll never feel the pain, the warmth, the passion that we felt all those nights, all those mornings, all those rainy days. Her infatuation with you is because she’s lonely, it’s because I didn’t know what I was supposed to do and her pride won’t let her forgive me.

At night when you go to hold her and she pulls away it’s not because she’s too warm, it’s because at night is when it’s hardest for her to lie to herself. In the morning when she closes the bathroom door while she’s brushing her teeth or taking a shower it’s because she isn’t as comfortable with you as she is with me. Those doubts you have in your head, those moments when you’re driving and you cut off the radio trying to shake that feeling, you can’t shake it can you? You can’t shake it because you know she doesn’t love you, she’s just lonely. Having you there is better than being alone. She doesn’t know any other way because all she knows how to do is love, all she wants to do is love.

Her guilt gets the best of her sometimes, she feels bad for allowing you to love her like you do. She watches you sleep or cook or talk about something that happened at work and she wants to scream, “I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE!” But then she’d have to be alone again and that scares her more then anything. Not because she can’t do it but because being alone means that she may call me, it means that the love she can’t control, the love that makes her crazy, the love that sucks her in and swallows her whole may take over her life again. She doesn’t know if she’s ready for that so she settles with you.

Regardless of my faults I’m a good man and because I’m a good man I would never try and ruin what you have regardless of the quicksand it’s built on. I won’t be her excuse for breaking your heart, I’ve already put more pain in her life then I can ever atone for and I won’t add to that by making her live with the regret of leaving you for me. So instead I’ll just wish you good luck in loving a woman that doesn’t love you but is simply lonely.

Losing You Made Me Better For Her

There are mornings I wake up and I see you in front of me wrapped in a towel fresh out the shower.

There are mornings I’m cooking breakfast when I get off work and I want to come in the bedroom, kiss you on your cheek and tell you to come eat before it gets cold.

I miss you or maybe I miss the things we did or maybe I miss the way you made me feel or maybe I just miss having someone.

Writing in the morning I have visions of you sneaking up behind me, pushing my chair back, moving my laptop and sitting on the edge of my desk. Your robe parted, my hands cold so your thighs shivering at my touch.

Your scent natural and unique, your skin soft and inviting. Most mornings I don’t even miss sex, I just miss kissing your stomach and lying there, feeling your warmth. Being consumed by the storm your presence brought to my life. I needed to lose that storm, I needed to fall into abyss to realize what I had. I won’t mess up next time, I know this in my heart, in the depths of my soul.

Maybe it’s not fair but the next woman won’t have to deal with the mood swings, the insecurities, the fear of failure and regret I wore like a backpack full of bricks. Your smile was so perfect, your laugh, your lips. I don’t miss kissing you, I miss that moment right before a kiss when you know it’s coming and your heart beats just a little bit faster. The next her will feel my presence in everything she does because I’ll make myself so memorable and honorable that her heart will beat for me like it has never beaten for another man. I owe that to my failure with you.

I won’t take her for granted when she tells me she just needs to feel like we’re progressing. I won’t turn to readers and alcohol and groupies when she’s too tired or working or needs her space. I’ll be everything to her that I wasn’t to you because I don’t ever want to see hate in another woman’s eyes that’s because of me. I want her tears to come from orgasms she can’t control and joy she can’t hide. Not heartbreak and fear and rage. We will fight over the remote, not because I didn’t come home.

Do I have regrets? Everyday and everyday I’m learning to move on from those regrets. There’s a part of me that’s still closed off and that scares me because I want to give my all. The all I didn’t give to you. You made me better and I just want to thank you for that. I still check up on you from time to time. I may not call or text but know I’m watching, I’m here, if you ever need anything.

~ 20140822-233539.jpgDemez

Rainy Sunday Thoughts

When I was out yesterday afternoon waiting on my friends to show up I checked Instagram. Mainly just to kill time. I saw a woman getting ready for a wedding and then I realized something. The woman whose wedding she was getting ready for was the woman who I thought I would marry. That’s the thing about social media, you can cut all ties to the person you were in love with but six degrees of separation is real.

At that moment our lives flashed before my eyes. At that moment I realized she was about to get married while I’m sitting in a bar excited about beer and football. Beer and football? She was the one that didn’t want to settle down, that wanted to run wild and now she’s about to walk to the alter and I’m here?

Life is ironic like that I suppose. You think you know what makes you happy but do you really? My writing is at a place where the words come so naturally. I can see the story in my head and tell it with such ease that I often smile while I’m at my laptop. Is that happiness though? Talent maybe, dedication, but happiness?

A woman once looked me in the eyes and told me that I made beautiful excuses. “They sound amazing Demez but the truth is they’re still excuses. You lost me because you weren’t willing to do what it would take to keep me. You don’t have anything published because you’re more willing to talk about being a great writer than actually writing and taking the chance people won’t like it. I love you but I’m not in love with you anymore. When you wake up and decide to grow up you’ll be an amazing man but I can’t wait for that. Goodbye.” I hated her in that moment because the truth hurts but it was necessary. It changed my life. She’s about to get married and I’ve been up all morning writing, trying to become that amazing man she believed I could become.

Sitting at my desk, watching the rain fall, I often wonder if I’m substituting making memories for writing. Will I have regrets because of the dates I cancelled or the parties I didn’t go to because I’d rather be sitting at this desk creating a story? I don’t know how to answer that. I don’t know if I’ll ever know the answer to that. I just know how I feel when I’m finished telling one of these stories. How I feel when there’s a novel in my hands and I see that finished product. I believe at that moment it’s worth it.

~ Demez F. White

I’m Falling For You



I’m Falling For You
Why can’t you stop smiling? Why does everything seem so funny? Why are you so happy? You can’t tell? I can tell. It’s contagious you know. Me, falling for you, that burst of energy I get whenever you walk into a room. That’s what has you smiling, knowing I’m falling for you. Knowing whatever this is, is turning into more than this. Knowing that I’m not going anywhere unless an act God intervenes and even then I’m not even sure that would stop what’s happening between us.

I think we go together now. I’m pretty sure you’re my girlfriend in more than just my mind. There’s the toothbrush that’s next to mines in the bathroom. The new towels and candles that seemed to come out of thin air. There’s me talking to you on the phone every morning, even when you’ve just let my home minutes earlier. There’s me calling you knowing exactly when you get off work. Waiting, anxious, excited for that kiss. I’m falling for you and I’m not afraid of where the fall will take me.

What does it mean exactly to fall for someone? It’s different for everyone but for me it’s feeling fearless! It’s feeling like I can stand down an army and if no one else is there, you are. It feels like a ray of sunshine bursting through the clouds when it’s been cold all day. Falling for you gives me a piece of mind I haven’t had since, forever.

If you don’t love me already, I’m going to make you love me. You’ll feel my heart beating while we kiss. You’ll feel my love for you in every moment we’re together and everyone moment we’re apart. My words and actions will touch parts of you that no man has ever even dreamed of touching. My affect on your life will be like a hurricane that wipes away a city and devastates your soul in the most beautiful way possible.

Who I am as a man. What I want, what I’m willing to do! No one will ever compare because they don’t see you, can’t see you like I see you. If I never make love to you physically I don’t care because our souls make love with each and every breath we take. Life is a gift and you are the essence of the perfect unwrapped beautiful package that I get to open over and over and over again.

I’m falling for you and guess what? I think you’re falling for me too.

~ Demez F. White

Don’t Give Boyfriends Husband Treatment <– Says Women Without Boyfriends

There’s no formula for being a good man or woman. Of course some traits are universal. Don’t be selfish, don’t lie, treat him or her like you want someone to treat your son or daughter. We can all agree that those general concepts make for healthier relationships. On the other hand what I’ve been reading a lot of lately is men telling women the following.

“Don’t give husband benefits to boyfriends.” I think that is a dangerous and costly way to look at a relationship. I spoke to a woman last night and we had a conversation about this. Giving someone 100% as their girlfriend doesn’t mean you’re giving them “wife benefits.” It means you’re giving your all because you need to see if this is really what both of you want.

I asked her simply, “Have you seriously dated anyone since your divorce?” Her response was something to this extent and I’m paraphrasing. “I have dated and they were all serious because if you don’t give 100% how can you expect a man to? This notion that you shouldn’t give your boyfriend husband treatment is crazy to me. If I go to his house and his fridge is a mess I’ll clean it out. If I’m spending the night I’ll buy better sheets. If he has a business and I see him working hard I’ll help him build it. You may call it treating him like my husband; I call it building a relationship and once I give my all and I see he isn’t ready for that or not giving his I can walk away with no regrets. I’m not saying we play house or do this indefinitely but I’m saying it works for me”

Often times when I write I try and be impartial but with this conversation I found myself agreeing with her logic because it’s a mindset I share. Do you know why they call it a courtship? It’s not only because the man is courting the woman but it’s also so that they can see what each other like, if they mesh. By giving all of yourself you aren’t really losing anything because it’s better than giving 50% and hoping that he or she knows there’s a prize at the end of the rainbow.

Another aspect we touched on is finances; because of her appearance a lot of men think that it’s about the money. “They see the car I drive or where I live and feel like, “She must be having a man take care of her,” not knowing that everything I have I worked for. I’ve dated guys that made six figures and were selfish and flashy and I’ve dated men that make twenty thousand and would give me their last. I make good money. Give me a man that makes 35k a year and it’s our 35k over a man that makes 250k and he’s selfish. I don’t mistake frugal with cheap or selfish by the way. If you’re saving and have a plan; you don’t have to wine and dine and spoil me but if you can spend your resources on everything but me. Then I have a problem.”

Standards. Standards are different for every woman. Some women ask very little and some ask a lot. In her case it’s a mix but a mix that works for her. “If you can get up and be at meetings with your clients 45 minutes before they start. If you can make it to the airport and to the gym and be this man that’s constantly impressive you need to be impressive for me also. Don’t show up late or cancel dates and constantly expect me to understand when you never do that for other aspects of your life.”

If there’s anything I want people to get from this article and this conversation it’s this. There is nothing the matter with seeing clothes in a basket and asking him if they are clean and folding them. It doesn’t make you naive or silly to look in his fridge and see beer, takeout and something that used to be an apple in the back and saying, “Let me get this man some groceries or cook him a real meal.” If I’m outside and you show up and I hear your brakes or see your car is dirty, It’s not treating you like my wife to wash it or to check and see if your brake pads are stripped. It’s treating you like someone that’s important to me. This concept that we shouldn’t “Give boyfriends/ girlfriends husband/wife treatment is implying that being giving and selfless has to be reserved for a ring.first dance ring

– Demez F. White

Stop Letting Idiots Tell You What Makes You A Man

gentleman Stop letting idiots tell you what makes you a man

These hoes ain’t loyal.

It ain’t nothing to cut that bitch off.

Bro’s over Hoes.

I can name a dozen hooks to songs and catch phrases that make it seem as though caring about or loving a woman makes you look silly or weak. The truth is life doesn’t work that way and it never has. We have a generation of not just boys but grown men that feel as though having gentleman like qualities makes them weak.

If I write something saying men should respect women I’ll get a guy saying, “What about women respecting men bro!” If I say men should open doors and get the check on dates I’ll have a guy say, “Women don’t want a good man, what is she brining to the table?!” If I try to explain to a guy the benefits of good conversation and building a friendship before you bring up sex he says, “Nah! You got to be aggressive, women like when you’re upfront.” Foolish! Stop listening to rappers and these internet idiots that don’t know the difference between a sports coat and blazer. Being a gentleman gets you more respect and dating opportunities than being an asshole ever will.

I can sit up here and create a dozen list. Men should open doors, men should call and make sure she’s okay if she’s driving home after a date. Real men should do this, real men should do that. Men should walk on this side of the street or not talk about this. Every guy is different, every woman is different. There’s no set of rules that makes you a man or less of a man but respect is universal. Whether you’re a hood dude, charming, funny, cool, it doesn’t matter. I can’t tell you how to be a man because most of us know how to be a man. I can just remind you that letting a few women who did you dirty or lack certain values make you disrespectful towards all the rest will get you nowhere.

Life is too short to fear what other people will think about you. If you’re happy and doing what you know is right then just live man. Just live life. Being that guy that makes women smile, that guy that walks into a room and holds it down. It never gets old.

~ Demez F. White

Why Raising Another Man’s Child Can Be Just As Rewarding As Raising Your Own



What are traits about others that people admire?

Being Selfless,




All those traits apply to single mothers. Of course we all know examples of bad mothers but most of the women I know lose their mind when their child is sick. They go without if their son or daughter needs a little more to eat or drink even though they know the kid is full. They take off work in order to make sure the kid isn’t at school sick when they know the child was probably never sick to begin with.

Mothers are selfless, passionate, happy and loving as hell when it comes to their children. The good ones are but the great ones are all in.

I recently had a friend tell me that she stopped talking to a guy that she was crazy about because he treated her two daughters differently. He wasn’t abusive or molesting them but the youngest girl was a daddy’s girl so she had an attitude towards him. So he would do things for the oldest girl and not for the youngest. These children were like 4 and 7 by the way.

She said, “Mez, he was being indifferent to my youngest daughter instead of just giving her time to adjust. He bought my oldest some candy, when the youngest asked where hers was, he said; ask your daddy.’ What sense does that make? So I dumped him.”

I could tell she missed him but she did what was best for her child and that made me smile.

My point is this, as a man when you can find it in your heart to love, care for, respect, play with, encourage, teach and just grow with the one thing in this world that that woman loves more than anything else. You’re going to win in life.

I grew up with a generation of people where a lot of us didn’t have father’s in the household. I know a bunch of women my age that aren’t with the men they have children with. My grandparents grew up in a generation where you got someone pregnant and married them, forget that you didn’t love her or that she wasn’t the woman you saw yourself with. You did it because it was right, because being there for her and your children was more important than dating and trying to find ‘perfection.’

When you take on the responsibility of a woman and her child or children; she knows the sacrifice you’re making. She may not talk about it or bring it up but she’s aware that they’re plenty of childless women out here. She’s aware that her child is going to have an adjustment period. She’s aware that the child’s father is either going to be in their life or is in their life and at the end of the day it will be ‘ME’ that has to be the bigger person.

I’ll be the one having to bite my tongue if they’re arguing about child support or insurance. I’ll be the one that has to pick up the pieces if he doesn’t come to get that kid for the weekend and she’s hurting because her baby is hurting.

Once the smoke settles and she realizes I’m not going anywhere, she’ll love me more than she’s ever loved anyone because I’ve handled loving her and that child like they were the most important things in the world to me.

I grew up without a father, my stepfather was a bum. So I don’t know what it’s like to have someone care about me, come to games, come to recitals, pick me up from school and have that man on man talk. If it would have been my stepfather I would have loved that man to death despite his short comings. That’s the thing about children, they aren’t slow, they aren’t blind. They simply want to know that you’re there, there for them. There for their mom, there for that family.

I want a son more than anything in this world but I want a wife first. I want a bestfriend first and I want financial security first.

Being with a woman that has a child isn’t a handicap, it’s a blessing in the sense that I’ll be able to not only touch the life of my future seed or that woman but I’ll be able to touch the life of a child that needs it. I respect women and I understand doing what you have to do to raise your child.

A woman can’t raise a man and a little girl needs a father. She needs to see a man treat her mother like a Goddess no matter how cheesy that sounds. I loved a woman whose daughter looked just like the child’s father, I mean they could have cloned this kid. Every time I tried to kiss her or hug her, the little girl would jump in-between us or look at me like I was evil. I thought it was the cutest thing in the world because I would want my daughter to do the same thing.

We’re adults for a reason, we have to be the bigger people. Children need adjustment periods and when they do adjust they’ll love you just as much as they love their biological father. I firmly believe that but you have to be a man, you have to be real and you have to be sincere.

The friend that I mentioned earlier, we aren’t that cool but if we were I would have went to the doctor with her, I would have went to the Lamaze classes and helped her out with cravings. Not because I want a relationship with her, I don’t know her like that but I would have done it because every woman deserves to have someone there with them and because her child’s father is unworthy. I would hate for those vibes to sink into that womb.

So I don’t know how many male readers I have but if you do read this, give a woman with children a chance and to all the women out there just know that some man will love you and want you not just because you’re fine as hell but because he wants to be an asset to you and your child’s life.

The Reception… His and Hers Point of View

Everyone wants to get married, even the people that swear up and down they don’t need a wife or a husband. They want to get married. It’s something about taking those vows, about knowing that there is someone that will love you for better or worse, richer or poorer, sickness and in health. Marriage isn’t underrated, marriage is perfect when it’s done right.

I can’t speak for any other man on this earth but I know one thing when it comes to me. I’m so looking forward to the day when I say, “I do.” That’s why I write about weddings, receptions, honeymoons, vows because I’m speaking it into existence. Not to mention I’m a romantic at heart.



He couldn’t believe it was over, that it finally happened. Heartbreak, lies, makeup’s, breakups, it all lead them to this point and now she was his. Mind body and soul. Watching her walking down that aisle, seeing the look on her face, the seriousness and sexiness, the emotion in her eyes. He knew it was all worth it. It took everything he had in him not to cry but he didn’t and he was proud of himself because of that.

They were standing in the hallway, all the guest were already seated, appetizers were being served. The bridal party had already started to make their way into the ballroom. It was just him and his bride, he could see she was tired but excited at the same time.

“We did it, you’re stuck with me now hubby! There’s no divorce, no walking away, I’ll kill you before that happens.”

She was smiling, laughing but he could tell she was dead serious and he didn’t even mind. He took her hands, spun her around in the hallway and kissed her on those lips he couldn’t get enough of.

“I’ve been waiting on this, what we’re doing now, since the first moment I met you. So you can keep your threats woman because I’m not going anywhere! Come here!” Her dress was a mermaid gown so she could barely move without assistance but neither one of them cared. He picked her up off the ground and kissed her over and over and over.

“Hey! Everyone is waiting on your two, it’s been like ten minutes since the best man and maid of honor came in.” They looked at each other and laughed, it was their day, they didn’t care if people had to wait on them.


Walking into the ballroom, sitting at the table, her husband on her left, her girls on her right. Life just couldn’t get any better! The ice sculpture, the string quartet, the doves! THEY HAD DOVES!!! Was all she could scream in her mind to keep from jumping up with joy. This wedding was everything she wanted and more, everything she saw in her dreams from when she was six years old. It all happened, it was still happening.

It scared her how much he loved her, she would never tell a soul that but it scared her. The thought of not being able to return the sort of blind passion and enthusiasm he had for her. She would try and she would give her all but the way he was looking at her at that alter, the sincerity in which he gave those vows. It was life altering.

Ding! Ding! Ding!

She came out of her day dream when she heard the best man tapping the champagne glass to get everyone’s attention.

Excuse me, excuse me, I know all of you are ready to eat this good food and dance and take full advantage of this open bar but I would like to give a toast to the lovely couple. I wish I could say my best friend called me after his first date with his future wife and told me he would marry her. I would like to say we were at a party and he introduced me to her and I could just see the chemistry. But if I told you all a story like that, I would be straight lying.

The crowd laughed.

My boy, my friend since I could remember, he’s always been cut from a different cloth. He didn’t talk about the women he dated or slept with or anything and he damn sure wasn’t going to talk about the women he loved. I knew he was going to marry this woman the day I logged on to Facebook and each and every one of his stories had a little piece of her in it. See, that’s how he is, he’s never forward and direct, it’s always about the writing. And when he started putting her in story after story, novel after novel…. I knew it was a wrap! I was scared at first because I thought him getting so into her would mean the end of our friendship. You know how some guys do when they get a girlfriend but for him, he was stayed the best friend a guy could ask for. And instead of losing a brother, I gained a sister.

Everyone sighed.

These two are perfect for each other and no one deserves to be happier more than them. I wish you all the best and I hope you guys start making babies ASAP so I can have someone to take to the mall and pickup chicks with. I love you both! Congratulations!

It was a good toast, a good speech, even though she really didn’t like him.


His boy did his best, he knew he didn’t care for his wife and the feeling was mutual. She didn’t like his ways and he didn’t like her ways but because of him they found a way to chill. He was taking it easy on the drinks tonight since it was his wedding and because he wanted their first dance to be flawless.

Her maid of honor stood up and tapped her glass, he knew her and her sister weren’t close but they were sisters and friends none the less. Not to mention she was probably the prettiest bridesmaid anyone had ever seen which couldn’t hurt the pictures.

Growing up my sister was always little miss perfect. She cleaned up her room everyday, made straight A’s, said yes maam and no maam. Everyone loved her because she always did everything right. So when she called me and said she’d met a guy that was perfect! I didn’t suck my teeth and take a deep breath because I knew her and I knew she wasn’t exaggerating. If she said she met a guy that was perfect I knew that meant he was perfect for her. The way he looks at her when she’s not looking or talks about her when she’s not around, I think… wait, I know every woman wants that. It’s not often we get blessed with soul mates and my sister and brother-n-law have been blessed. I love you little sister and I know you’re in great hands. I wish nothing but the best for the two of you!

“I love you.”

He leaned over and whispered it in her ear, the crowd was clapping from the toast and the DJ was starting to spin some music while the food was being served.


45 Minutes Later…

She’d changed out of her wedding gown to something easier to move around in, it was still white and classy but it oozed regal sex appeal. They took the dance floor hand in hand, he was nervous and she knew it but she still let him lead.

He wasn’t nervous because of the moment he was nervous because he wasn’t a dancer. Always and Forever came thru the speakers, the crowd made a circle around the couple and she just allowed herself to fall into the moment. Luther was singing and she was in his arms not wanting this night, this moment to end.

“So I see you took those dance lessons seriously.” No one could hear the two of them.

“I had to, this is your day right.” She bit his hear and whispered.

“This is our day and I’m ready for you to fuck your wife!”

They cut the cake, threw the bouquet, took more pictures and gave more hugs than they thought possible and in the end they were in the back of the limo on their way to the airport….

Well you know the rest, doing what married couples do.