Fall Is Falling In Love Season

Can I be honest with you all for a minute?

I’m not afraid of talking about love or feelings or fears. I’m an adult, adult’s talk about these things. There are plenty of guys that want to be the coolest or hardest in the room, that’s not me. I’m not built like that, I cook and write and flirt and love the little things that make women women. That’s who I’ll always be and I thank God for that.

Living a life where I’m anything or anyone else would make no sense.

Every season is falling in love weather. You can’t control when you meet someone and everything starts to make sense. But something about the fall is just sexy to me. I have better days when the sun isn’t shining as hard and the nights are cooler. I tend to be on my phone less during the day because I actually enjoy working outside.

No matter how cool technology gets it will never compare to the feel of body heat next to you on a couch or porch when that first Fall breeze hit your face. When you have those moments of peace, conversation and attraction falling in love is the most natural vibe in the world.

We fall in like during sunshine and falling leaves. We fall in love when the sun goes down and it’s not quite cold enough for a sweater but just cool enough for her to sit under me because she has goosebumps. When the seasons change so do our outlooks. With beautiful weather comes beautiful memories and with beautiful memories comes sensations that make our lives matter.

I’m sure a lot of people that’ll read this love summer, short dresses, late nights after day parties and summer vacations. I’d never knock summer but Fall is when I feel most alive and how can you not fall in love when you feel alive.

It’s cool to be cynical and feel like love is an overrated word or romance is dead. If you feel that way I can’t blame you because you’ve dealt with stressful men or women in your life. But if you are that person, all I can say to you is to not let that taint the season coming up.

Picnics in the park where the bugs aren’t as bad and the sun isn’t as dreadful. Late night drives to Galveston where you can’t tell just how dark the water is or just how rocky the sand can be.

Stop letting the past haunt you and say yes to whatever guy asked you out last week. Say yes to whatever woman is throwing signs at you but she may not be your type. Say yes to making memories and maybe falling in love.

 

 

 

Demez F. White  winter

Love Isn’t Always Being Strong Enough To Stay; Often Times It’s Being Strong Enough To Let Go

I’m not sure how old I was when I started to relate to love songs. Not understand what sex was or heartbreak was but I listened to the words and could literally relate them to my own relationships and situations. Love is universal, you can speak different languages and be from different religions and still understand what your heart is speaking.

If you’re at home or at work or hiding in the bathroom trying to get a break from the kids, I want you to imagine with me. Imagine where you would be right now if you didn’t let go of a love you thought was irreplaceable? Imagine if you didn’t find the strength to leave that guy that wasn’t affectionate enough, the woman that only called when she needed something. Imagine if God would have answered your prayers when you said you couldn’t live without him. Happy Endings aren’t always relationships prospering, sometimes the Happy Ending is you being able to walk away.

We live in this world now where technology has made everyone feel more closely connected when the truth is technology is often a barrier to the connections we so deeply seek. Twenty years ago if you hurt someone you love you called their house and when they didn’t answer you went to them. You talked or argued, you broke up or made up, but it was real. Now not answering the phone means text and tweets and Facebook post. Relationships that should have ended just thrive in limbo.

I believe I’m going to be an amazing writer not because I can create characters out of thin air. I believe I will be an amazing writer because I’m transparent like every great writer before me. You have to take off the mask and the filter and tell your story. The good, the bad, the ugly. It won’t always be flattering and romantic but it will be a story people can relate to.

It doesn’t make you weak to fight for someone you love when you don’t feel like they’re fighting as hard for you. It doesn’t make you a savage to tell someone that will give their last to you, “This isn’t working anymore.” We have become a generation that gets our advice from meme’s and actors that give us words we want to hear instead of getting advice from our hearts.

When the day comes that you feel more comfortable sharing your day with strangers or friends then with the person you’re with. Sit down and have a serious conversation with yourself. That’s not only loving the person you’re with but loving yourself enough to know, it’s time to let go.

If Your Woman Can’t Tell the Difference Between You Being Controlling or Assertive; You’re the Problem

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@artbysu via Twitter

What’s understood doesn’t have to be spoken in most instances but sometimes it’s good to offer reminders.

Women love tactfully aggressive and assertive men. It’s been that way since the beginning of time. The problem is too many men are trying to be assertive with women that have no interest in them. You’re mad she won’t return your good morning text when you should be texting good morning to a woman that actually wants you to text her.

When a woman likes you, I’m not even talking about love, but simply likes you. You can call her on Wednesday or Thursday and say, “I’m taking you out on Friday night, wear that black dress you wore to your bestfriends birthday dinner and I love your hair over your shoulder.” No woman that knows you’re a quality a guy is going to take that as controlling.

What I tend to see most is men feeling like women may not accept them taking the lead. You ask her out, tell her you’re going to surprise her and you take her to a Chinese spot when she’s allergic to MSG or an Italian spot and she can’t eat cheese. Unless she flat out told you and you forgot, it’s okay. That’s why you have backup plans, that’s why you can get a bottle of wine and go get a pizza and she won’t feel like she got dressed up for nothing because you’re understanding, good company and she’s wearing the black dress for you, not to be seen. Assertiveness does that for you. Not being sure about yourself, does nothing for you.

2017 has been the year of the engagement and it’s not even April yet. The one thing most of the men have in common is that they didn’t play it cool, they didn’t see her text and decide, “I’m going to look thirsty if I answer to quickly.” They didn’t text her five times asking, “WYD” hoping that she’d be the one to make the plans because he was afraid of rejection. You don’t need dating books to tell you one simple truth. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. You like her, initiate a conversation, find out who she is, what she likes and plan something off that conversation that you think she may enjoy. I can’t tell a man how to be a good husband but I can tell you how not to shoot yourself in the foot.

This picture isn’t really relevant to the story but I believe there’s something magical about couples celebrating brining a life into this world.

It’s Not Okay to Propose to Your Woman At Someone Else’s Wedding!

IMG_0141It’s Not Okay to Propose to Your Woman At Someone Else’s Wedding!

It Can’t Always Be About You

We all have that one friend that’s a one upper. Maybe they’re not your real friend but they’re a social media friend. You tell them you’re excited about Miami and they tell you, “You should see Spain!” You tell them your kid just got accepted into a college and they tell you how their kid got accepted into a better college.

One upper guy or gal doesn’t always do it because they’re jerks that lack common sense and etiquette. Sometimes they don’t have malicious intent at all; sometimes they just need the conversation to be about them.

The thing we all learn in like 1st grade though is that it can’t always be about you. There will be days where you don’t win the spelling bee and days where you aren’t the best kick ball player in the world. Adult life is sort of the same way. Every conversation doesn’t have to be about YOU. It’s okay to sit back and let someone tell you about their weekend without you telling them how much better your weekend was.

The one upper isn’t always interrupting with good news either. It can be something as simple as, “I cut my finger shaving,” and one upper will let you know how they broke their arm changing the channel with the remote. Anything to have people talk about or look at them instead of talking about or looking at you.

I had a conversation once about wedding proposals and the simple truth is people are so blinded by love that they don’t often realize what’s okay and what’s not okay. Asking your woman to get married on a beach in Spain is dope. Asking your woman to get married at a reception your boy paid 85 dollars a plate for. That’s not too cool.

Why do people think this is okay? This is the ultimate level of one upperness! I’m going to choose the most important day of your life and turn it into a joint venture? This is not okay and a fight has to come with that.

Your friend goes through a horrible breakup and is crying and heartbroken and you sit there like, “I remember when I lost my dog; girl I didn’t think I would recover but I did.” Yo, this isn’t about your dog, this is about your friend.

One upping/ scene stealing has ruined more friendships than borrowing money and shoes and spring breaks where someone forgot to pay their half on the room. It’s okay for it not to always be about you. It’s okay to listen, to be happy for someone, to not turn the day or night or conversation into your show.

4 Ways to Help Him Through A Quarter Life Crisis

20140822-233539.jpg I’d never complain about being a man. I have no problem saying I’d suck at cramping or being pregnant and I definitely wouldn’t take to constant Facebook messages or sexual harassment too well. No, I love being a man but there’s one thing that we can all admit. It’s not okay for a man to show weakness or to be vulnerable with everyone. Don’t mistake this with it’s okay to not have emotions or to talk, it’s just not okay unless she means something to you.

Expectations are an amazing thing. They often force us to reach heights we didn’t even know we could reach but there’s also the weight of expectations that can be heavy on our pride and mental makeup. You reach a certain age and you aren’t feeling as accomplished as you should be, it’s not an easy thing to deal with. You can become withdrawn, depressed and some may see it as feeling sorry for yourself but it’s bigger than that. You don’t stop living or working, you just stress more. Having a woman there to take some of that stress away, some of that edge away, that makes all the difference in the world.

“I’m Proud of You.” This may seem small or insignificant but hearing this from the right woman when you’ve had a bad day or bad month or didn’t reach a goal you set for yourself. It fixes everything in that moment. You look at her eyes or hear her voice and you just feel as though you can take on the world in spite of any obstacles that come your way. “I’m proud of you,” means you believe in me. It means you see the small steps I’m taking and are just as excited about those as you are about the big steps.

“Dance With Me.” I love silly, serious women. That’s a thing. Women that are about their business and work and are busy but when she’s with you she has that silly side, that playful side, that laugh that you know not too men have gotten to see. She sees you at your desk writing or sitting on the couch sulking and she grabs your hand and shakes her hips and says, “come dance with me Mez” and in those moments where you’re feeling her body and her energy and holding her waist her hands or grabbing her ass you feel better. Holding her, dancing with her is better than alcohol, sex, Crave cupcakes. It’s better because it’s organic, it’s in the moment, it’s intimate in the most non-sexual but sensual way.

“I Told Someone About You.” There are a lot of ways to show a man you love him or care about him. There are a lot of ways to show affection or to cheer someone up. You can never go wrong with sex or a bottle of his favorite liquor or his favorite meal. But for me nothing puts a bigger smile on my face than knowing a woman wants professional success for me just as much as I do. When she calls or text saying, “A friend told me they needed a writer so I mentioned you.” Or “I know you haven’t been happy where you are so I was looking online and I saw this,” and she sends me a link to a company or opportunity. Those little gestures have such a huge impact because you know she’s selfless and your happiness means that much to her.

“Come to Bed.” One of the first things to go when you’re stressing or not happy is sleep. Some men drink themselves to sleep, others take whatever pill they can find. Some just scroll social media all night or try and work. When a woman comes and rubs your neck or back and pulls you off the couch or out of your office and says, “come to bed” you do it. Maybe she doesn’t want to sleep alone, can’t sleep without your warmth but more than that she just wants to have you close. There’s so much intimacy in those before dawn conversations about life, work, family, stresses. Her semi naked body wrapped around yours, her head on your chest and that conversation is therapy. Maybe it ends in earth shattering sex but it’s not about that. It’s about that connection, that bond that’s being strengthened. Even if you only get a couple hours of sleep there’s comfort in knowing she can’t sleep without you.

5 Non- Sensual Ways to Show Affection and Intimacy

One- Grocery shopping together, this leads to spending time together, laughing, people watching. There’s something incredibly intimate about buying frozen veggies and Honey Nut Cheerios.

Two- A woman sending you pictures while she’s trying on clothes at a store. “Hey babe, do you like this?” “How does this look on me?” Not this new trend of taking pictures and posting them online but knowing the only opinion that matters to her is yours, that’s cool.

Three- Working out together. Now to be honest I don’t really do this but I have and the competition, the sweating, the conversation. You’re literally spending 45 minutes to an hour just bonding.

Four- Helping her take off nail polish or take out braids. You get to see her like few people do and because she’s yours it’s okay. For a second you think about how your boys would laugh if they saw you sitting with her foot in your lap while you wipe away polish. For a second you think how gay you must look taking out braids hoping you don’t cut her real hair and make her go off. Then you realize being here doing this with her is better than front row at a Mayweather- Pacquio fight. That’s intimacy, that’s affection, that’s a relationship.

Five- Leaving somewhere together. A party, a restaurant, the movies. That drive home knowing you’re the one taking her home when every guy in the room was looking at her. Holding her hand, her hand on your thigh, her hand rubbing your neck. Not in a sexual way but in a comfortable way like she just likes touching you. It’s hard to explain if you’re not a man that gets it but for whatever reason when a woman loves you or is just into you she likes touching you.

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Looks Best When…

182240_562470723185_118401058_31406809_1126638_nWritten By: Sapphire and Demez

She Looks Best When She’s In…

The first time I got a shirt printed with my book cover on it, with my name on it, all I could think about is how she would look in it. You know, that moment when she comes over for dinner and she doesn’t plan on staying put there’s too much wine, too many laughs and all of a sudden she decides to spend the night.

“Give me something to put on.” She says it knowing it probably won’t stay on long anyway but seeing her in my t-shirt does something to me. The way she takes it out of my hand and undresses with the bathroom door slightly open. The way she walks out the bathroom, the t-shirt sticking to her curves because of the moisture. The way it’s a little bit too small because all I had was a small left. I probably could have given her one made for a man but I like the ones made for women on women. It’s why I paid extra for it.

“I have some lotion in my purse, hand it to me.” I keep Dove body wash in the bathroom closet just in case she decides to spend the night, the soft smell makes my house feel more like a home, her thighs are touching in the t-shirt, even tipsy and with the title of my book on her chest she sits like a lady.

I’m so busy staring that I don’t hear her calling my name, I don’t see her handing me her phone. “You iPhone people and those horrible cameras. Use my phone, take some pictures,” she says. I see the seriousness in her eyes, the way she licks her lips. Sitting back on the couch I’m watching her thru the camera on the phone the size of a tablet. Tonight in my t-shirt she’s Mona Lisa and I’m Picasso.

He Looks Best When He’s In…

There’s something damn near edible about a man wearing a tailored suit, I can’t quite put my hands on it and yet I wanted to put my hands all over him, run the tip of my fingers from the width of his shoulders to his length and watch him get lost in the feel of me feeling all over him.

I wasn’t sure if it was because I’d seen him in J’s, a wife beater and jeans a million times but even in that, every time I saw him was better than the last, causing my heart to skip several beats and that girlish grin and blush to cover my face in a warm glow; instantly making me feel like I was in high school all over again… Daaam there was nothing like that feeling. He was gorgeous in his “dough boy” basics, his swag on 20, with his no nonsense attitude all into me and visually devouring every inch that he saw. That’s how I met him, looking absolutely delicious and every inch of him screamed “trouble.”

Good, that’s exactly what I needed to jumpstart my transition into my newly “single” status. I’ve always had a thing for bad boys, tattoos, and trouble and he says he has this crazy fixation for redheads with tongue rings and sassy attitudes; check and checkmate, guess we’ll both have our hands full. We exchanged numbers me locking mine into his phone, him sliding his in my back pocket, gripping tightly and pulling me in close, smelling warm and intoxicating and reminding me of something unexpected like receiving a note asking to check a box to be his girlfriend.

Cute, I love originality but those sloppy, wet kisses from my cheeks and ears to my neck and chest was absolute “D-boy” action and they were doing the trick. He placed those soft pillows he calls lips on mine and I reciprocate, devouring and sucking on his bottom lip, feeling him go hard and soft at the same time; he ain’t ready for this action and its’ been a long time since a man had been this close; hopefully I can behave myself but I refused to make any promises.

She Looks Best When She’s In…

“What are you doing after work?” It’s the question she text’s me after lunch. I sat back and looked at my phone, wondering if I should tell her the truth or make something up that sounds more exciting, maybe something funny. It’s a beautiful day outside though and the last thing I want to do on a beautiful day is be in the house.

“I’m cutting the yard and washing my truck. Maybe I’ll BBQ if I can get the fire started before it gets dark.” She’s not the raking leaves and washing a truck type so I expect her to send me one of those silly emoji’s she loves, instead she sends, “Cool, I’m going to help you, I’m coming over after work.”

Standing in the backyard, I see her walking towards me. Ripped jeans that show bits and pieces of those pretty legs of hers. Jeans that look amazing on her but the mosquitoes and thorns on the bushes will love too much. A long sleeve flannel shirt rolled up to her elbows, one of those shirts that looks worn but you can tell it’s new. Her hair is in a bun, she’s wearing some Timberlands with the jeans inside.
We both know she’s not here to work, she just hates being home by herself on the weekends. She’ll take a bath in Off and sit on the porch drinking beer and watching me work. She looks best when she looks comfortable, when she looks like she’s at home.

He Looks Best When He’s In…

We met up later that night so of course I’m late, quite naturally, but I’m as flawless as someone this nervous could be and worth every extended minute. I pull up next to him all calm and collect, hands moist, heart racing and every bit excited about the possibilities. He sees me, primping nervously, stands in front of my car to ensure that I get a full dose of what he had to offer; I almost lost it. Mouth-watering, panties soaked and holding on to every pulsating ounce of me that begged to be held and stroked by him, by this insanely gorgeous man wearing the hell out of every stitch in his black, tailored suit. I leaned back in my seat and got drunk off the power radiating off him, compelling me, absolutely begging me to submerge myself in his everything, to lose my life in his passion; to allow him to momentarily dictate and dominate me. I exhaled the high he placed me on loving the trip that he was taking through my veins and allowed myself to get lost in him. Hmmmm, he was delicious.

Dinner was beautiful, the conversation and wine was flowing, his words were profound but all I wanted to do was sit on his lap, rub my face in his beard as he whispered poetry in my ear. I wanted to get lost in every syllable and vowel, wrap my fingers around his tie, draw him in closely and nibble on those lips where those beautiful words mixed and mingled with the wine that was already invading my system. I wanted to massage his broad shoulders through the fabric and allow it to hypnotize me until I was unaware and uncaring about our surroundings. There was something about him in his suit that caught me completely off guard and totally open and receptive to everything that he had to offer and he knew it. He led me back to his car propped me on his hood, slid in between my legs and nibbled and sucked all over my neck, reminding me of what it felt like to be wanted and desired; of what it felt like to be needed, to be loved if only momentarily. I basked in the moment, in the glow of it all daring to lose myself for a second to this amazing man in his suit.

She Looks Best When She’s In…

I don’t sleep much, most mornings I’m up at five or six after going to sleep at two or three. Seeing her lie in the bed, the sheet barely covering her naked ass and back. I like watching her sleep, maybe I like seeing her naked more. Clothes aren’t her favorite thing in the world. Most mornings she has nothing more than a robe that she barely closes.

Her skin is perfect, flawless. It’s not without effort. She moisturizes after every shower, she puts on this facial mask three times a week. I’ve never seen her forget to floss or get a pimple.

She has to know how turned on I get when I see her naked, when she’s getting ready to take a shower and has to let the water run for ten minutes before she steps in. I think my lips love her skin more then she loves her skin. As crazy as it sounds I feel like it’s sweet. When my tongue is tracing that skin I feel as though I can taste skittles or Hershey’s kisses.