Stop Blaming Social Media or Outdated Stereotypes for Bad Behavior

385448_213663785373354_118911191515281_532154_1408080341_nI’ve been in a relationship for about two years now. You know how many women that I was friends with or that I knew casually have approached me in a manner that’s flirtatious or disrespectful? None. Not one. Every text, phone call or message has been to congratulate me or simply to catch up or say hello. Women don’t find men in relationships more attractive; often times men in relationships let the world know they’re still available.

There’s perception and then there’s reality. You can’t flirt and be accessible and friendly and then complain that women or men aren’t accepting of your relationship. I have some amazing friends that I’d hang out with. Happy hours, long conversations, dropping them off at the airport. Once I got in a relationship or they got in a relationship that friendship dynamic changed. They had a long day, they call their man. They go to happy hour or talk about it, with their man. The same for me. They aren’t acting funny or being fake friends, it’s just called growing up.

I want to ask a serious question. Have you ever seen someone that was in a dope relationship talk about other people’s relationship or problems? I don’t mean casual pillow talk with your man or woman. I don’t mean casual gossip with your girls. I mean, it’s every day and it’s not just one or two couples but it’s all the time. You don’t see that type of behavior out of people that are good. But you see it out of people that are lying to themselves.

If a woman compliments my writing at 2am and I respond in her inbox, “Thanks, I love when women are up late reading my words.” With that one sentence I just told her I was available. I can try and tell myself I didn’t do anything wrong and that’s the problem with women these days, they think every guy is flirting, etc. But I’d be lying to myself. There are lines you don’t cross and you shouldn’t want to cross. Not if you’re happy with what you have at home.

Beauty Is…

Beauty is confidence.

Beauty is jeans and a thermal, hair in a bun and still killing every other chick at the bar.

Beauty is a tank top and cotton panties, Target toenail polish, HEB wine and her spot is still the most desired in the city.

Beauty is a FB pic of her smile and it gets more likes than an Instigram pic of your favorite strippers ass.

Beauty is her sending you a frowning smiley face and you canceling plans because you know if you don’t cheer her up there are a hundred “friends” just waiting for you to screw up.

Beauty is struggling to find an idea to write about and a 5 minute call from her has you on page 22 an hour later.

Beauty is wanting to do better because you know her pretty ass deserves not only your best, but the best!

Beauty is watching her do the simplest shit. Wash dishes, read a book, laugh at a movie… And think, “what the hell was my life before her?”

Beauty is being happy because she’s happy even if her happy doesn’t include you.