Why Are We So Quick to Demonize Black Women? Why Are Black Men So Silent? The Korryn Gaines Story

korryn You know what I’ve noticed these past couple months, with almost 100% certainty if I say anything praising or defending black women I will get a get a man that disagrees with me. He’ll say something like, “You’re pandering to them” or “You’re just telling them what they want to hear.” I’m often confused because most of my statements aren’t the kind of statements that cause friction but none the less these guys come at me guns blazing.

I know four things about the Korryn Gaines story.

1. She has a 20 minute video where she was pulled over and it doesn’t make her look good. People have seen that video and decided she deserves whatever happened to her.

2. The police lied about getting the key from the super and kicked in her door. They shot first when she was holding a child.

3. In Houston about a month ago the police were shot at and after an 8 hour standoff things ended peacefully. In Norfolk, Virginia there was a 7 hour standoff with a gunman and police and things ended peacefully. But after 6 hours the police that accidently broke a guy’s spine decided this woman was a threat.

4. A woman that lived on social media has all her social media deleted right after she’s gunned down?

I’m a smart enough man to know two things. The first is I’m not going to sit on this computer and condemn police for a murdering a black woman when I don’t know what happened in that apartment. The second is I’m not going to condemn a black woman for provoking police when they kicked in her door over parking tickets. I have a ticket for an expired inspection sticker, should I expect a SWAT team to kick in my door, shoot my dog, pull my girl half naked into the front yard and handcuff me? That’s what we’re doing over parking tickets? We get so caught up into wanting to make people victims or heroes that we tend to forget most of these violent encounters start over the smallest things. Parking tickets? Selling CD’s? Selling DVD’s? A broken taillight? When does common sense overtake the need to be right?

“Korryn Gaines used her son as a shield?” “Korryn Gaines should have never had a gun?” Even though she was in her own home. Korryn Gaines wanted to fight with the police even though they kicked her door in. Do I believe black men need to stand up and scream Black Lives Matter and get angry over Korryn? No, not at all, but I do believe that we should just accept she was in the wrong and move on? When police shoot someone they often lie about the circumstances, especially when there’s no video. This is a fact. So why are we so quick to throw this woman away?

People will accuse me of pandering to women for saying what I’m about to say but I know it’s the truth. Had that been an attractive black man in a room protecting his cute son with a shotgun from officers that kicked in his door over parking tickets black women all over this country would be shouting his name! Black men would be posting Malcolm X quotes and talking about how he went out protecting his family! We would give him not only the benefit of the doubt but even if he was in the wrong we’d make him a legend. Not only are people not waiting for the facts to come out but they are calling this woman everything from a fool to a coward to a crazy person. I don’t need anyone to answer me but I’ll ask anyway. If the roles were reversed would black women be this silent for us?

Blaming the Victims or Guilty Until Proven Innocent?

Bill Cosby

Bill Cosby

Log onto Twitter, Instagram or Facebook on any given day and you’ll see vicious debates on whether or not Bill Cosby is innocent. There are people that will tell you there’s no way dozens of women have come forward to accuse him and all of them are lying. There are also people that will say why have they waited so long to come out and accuse him?

Just this week both his wife and daughter have come to his defense. No matter what you believe there’s someone on the other side of that argument that believes the exact same thing. When disagreeing with whether or not Bill Cosby or any other man is a rapist are you protecting his right to being innocent until proven guilty or are you calling the victim a liar. In calling her a liar are you scaring other women from coming forward because they don’t want their name dragged through the mud?

This isn’t the first time we’ve seen this in 2014. Once the Ray Race video surfaced of him and his wife people immediately asked the question: was it her fault? She even came out and placed blame on herself in a sense. She accused the NFL and Baltimore Ravens of asking her to take responsibility for her role in the incident. To a lot of people that came off as them asking her to say it was her fault even if that wasn’t what she was literally saying. There’s no easy answer. There are cases all over America and the world where men have been falsely accused of rape only to be vindicated after years in prison or living with damaged reputations. There are cases all over America and the world where women have been raped and abused with no justice which so ever.

It’s easy to be black and white. He did it, he needs to go to prison. He didn’t do it, they need to stop lying on him. The truth is we don’t know the truth and for a lot of people that’s are more terrifying concept than anything they can imagine.

To be the women or man screaming for someone to be locked up for the rest of their life only to realize they’re innocent has to give you a feeling of guilt you can’t control. To be the man or woman defending a rapist only to realize he’s really a rapist is something that will live with you for the rest of your life.

As a writer I try to remain impartial but if I can give anyone advice I’d give this; stay away from absolutes until you know without a shadow of a doubt that he or she is guilty or innocent.