You’re Beautiful: I Just Feel Like You Should Know

IMG_0189.JPG Every now and again I feel like you need to be reminded of just how perfect you are. I understand perfect isn’t attainable so please don’t take my words literally. When I say perfect I mean, you’re as perfect as any woman can be. Perfectly flawed in the most beautiful way. I get I look at you in way that’s unrealistic, I have these expectations and place you on a pedestal when we both know that’s not fair but I can’t help it. No one told you to be this freaking awesome!

I’ve read great poets and philosophers that have said every man gets three great loves in his life. Some get them early and never experience love again, some have them spread out over time and some may never meet the loves of their lives at all. I believe with all my heart I’ve had at least one great love. There’s a part of me that believes you can be number 2 if I ever got that chance.

You’re beautiful because you’re selfless. You’re beautiful because your spirit and heart are so full of life and joy. There isn’t one person that can genuinely not like you. You’re beautiful because I say you are and I’m willing to fight any man that says otherwise.

You’re beautiful because God made you that way inside and out and for that the world is a better place.

The Beauty Is In the Imperfections

20140623-125738.jpg The Beauty Is In the Imperfections

Attraction is one of the most raw qualities we have. You can’t control it, there’s no internal debates, you just see a person and know you want them.

Attraction is natural and understandable. What’s not natural nor understandable is degrading or insulting others. We throw around words like ugly, dumb, fat, gay, stupid and no matter if they’re said out of hate, sarcasm, humor or anger they leave mental and emotional scars.

Everyone is beautiful to someone even if that someone isn’t you. What I don’t understand is why people focus so much on who they aren’t attracted to? What’s the value in that? In telling a person they’re ugly or fat or stupid. Focus on what does attract you to someone, on what does make you happy.

It took me a long time to find out who I was.

I was born with a misshaped head, the doctors screwed up. It was literally crooked, warped, whatever word you want to use. For years kids mocked me, made fun of me. There were days I didn’t even want to go to school. I literally had to have my gallbladder removed from anxiety and eating problems. Ugly, weirdo, whop head. Kids are relentless and some adults. It got better over the years but that changed me. It made me appreciate nice people. It’s why I despise bullies and the cowards that ignore them. I fought back by learning to hide the hurt, by learning to be the smartest guy in the room, self deprecating. It’s why I started writing, an outlet.

Life is a gift and for years I felt sorry for myself. Oral surgery for better teeth, cologne, watches, clothes. Anything to cover what I thought were imperfections. My entire life I’ve been called smart, funny, manner-able and none of that compared to the first time a woman called me handsome. I didn’t even believe her. I’m confident now, secure but that are a lot of people that aren’t.

I fought a lot but it didn’t stop so I learned to use words. Really hateful words in an articulate way. Words that cut people at their core. I learned to hide the emotions that came from insults.

Let people be great. When you feel the urge to mock someone, compliment them. Love outweighs hate.

Demez F. White

She’s Not Better Than You… Just More Interesting

betterBeing a single guy with career ambitions and no children I often get people giving me advice on the type of women I should date. Most say stay away from women with children, others say stay away from women over thirty five that have gotten used to being alone. Find a woman with a good job, find a woman that goes to church, find a woman that likes Unicorns. The advice never stops but all of them are hypocrites, especially the men.

The truth is as men we love interesting. We love sexy and cool and passionate. You can be the sweetest woman in the world but if you’re boring or tired all the time or bitter than I’m good. Women often wonder why “ho’s” get the ring before them or women with two children have men beating down their door when you have everything together and no kids and can’t even get men to call you back. The reason is those women are just more interesting, cool, funny, sexy and happy. You know how depressing it is to always talk to a woman that has issues, that’s sad or hates or job? That’s complaining about everything? You’re a great godmother, a great aunt, a great employee. I get it, you’re tired, but you need to also get that when you want something you make time and deal with those groggy weekday mornings.

Most men are fully aware of the flaws of the women they fall in love with. He knows she has a bigger body count than Ted Bundy but he also knows she’s fun to be around and she’s happy and she wants to be there. What women think is a good woman and what men think is a good woman are two different things. I love to cook, I keep my home spotless, I could care less if the woman I love does these things. As long as she keeps herself up, wants success as much as I do and is as passionate as I am. I can deal with her demons. I’ll check her ex that still calls if he won’t listen to her, I’ll deal with her insecurities and trust issues until she realizes I’m not them and more than anything I’ll make her feel how deep my love is. You love Jesus and you pay your bills on time but you’re boring, stagnant in life and expect a man to save you… To your girls and family you’re a great woman, to a man you’re boring and afraid to give your all. You want a ring but how can any man want to spend the rest of his life with a woman that’s not mentally, emotionally or sexually stimulating?

I’ll be coming home from a date or work and I’ll get on FB and see a hundred pretty single women on that little scroll playing phone or FB games. That is more interesting to a lot of them than accepting a date offer and that’s fine if that’s what they want. But when that woman that you despise accepts the offer you turned down don’t get mad at her or the man. Get mad at yourself.