Stop With the Small Talk and Plan A Date; It May Change Your Life

It’s easy to be the man that steps up when he’s supposed to step up. When it’s her birthday, you’re on point. When it’s your anniversary, there’s not a better date planner in the world. She’s excited about a promotion; you’ll have the champagne and flowers ready as soon as she walks through the door. That’s only like 10% of a relationship though, 10% of the dating process. What about the other days, the other nights?

Calling a woman or texting a woman and asking her, “WYD” or “It’s supposed to rain tonight so what do you want to eat?” You might see it as sensible or something that just makes sense after a long day but sometimes you have to not only take control but also crave control. If you’re a man reading this I want you to ask yourself one question, “When is the last time I called a woman and told her, ‘I’m picking you up at 8, wear that black dress I saw you in when you went to your best friend’s party back in May.” Don’t be afraid of her saying she has plans, don’t be afraid of “I’m tired.” Be afraid of being ordinary.

I don’t care if your woman is in charge of the largest department in her company. I don’t care if she makes twice what you make and had to let your little brother “borrow” some money for a textbook. That doesn’t take away from that fact that just because she has to be superwoman out there doesn’t mean she wants to be that at home or in her relationship. So many men complain about dating when the truth is all you’re doing is setting a standard that lets her know she can stop entertaining those other guys. One way to do that is by simply being tastefully aggressive.

What’s tasteful aggression? It’s being the man that knows what he wants and is an adult about expressing it and actively pursuing her. Not just asking a woman out on a date or out for drinks but telling her where, what time and what you like to see her in. Not the cheesy lingerie or panty talk but actual clothes. Colors, styles, how you like her hair. If you’re a genuine guy she won’t take it as you trying to control her or tell her how to dress. She’ll take it as you being a man that pays attention.

In 2017 everyone takes pride in being laid back, in being cool. You want to know what I take pride in? Being serious about the people that matter to me and while I’m being serious I’ll take time to laugh, smile, flirt but she won’t have hesitations about my intentions.

4 Reasons Why Kissing Is Still the Pinnacle of Intimacy

Dope Instagram Pic 1. Soft lips still have to be the best cure for a long day. Trends change, styles change, but kissing a woman after a great first date or before you leave for work. That will never change.

2. We all remember our first kiss. Not the one when you’re at the 8th grade prom but that first real kiss when you feel something. Call it sparks, call it love, call it desire. That kiss that makes you want to hold her hand, that kiss that makes you forget time and space and you look up and it’s been two hours. No matter how old we get, those moments still exist.

3. Kissing is erotic but it’s also incredibly innocent. One of my favorite sermons is when my pastor said, “Don’t put yourself in situations where you can’t control your body and your desires. You can say you want to wait until marriage or don’t want to move fast but kissing on a couch in the dark at midnight isn’t going to help you reach that goal.” Kissing is what we make it. It can be a stolen kiss in the elevator leaving a movie or in a parking garage or it can be the introduction to something more.

4. There comes a time in a man’s life where he has to make a decision. Is this the woman I want to kiss for the rest of my life. Not just when there’s candles burning and R. Kelly playing but when she’s just gave birth to your child and it’s a kiss on the forehead. When she’s just finished jogging and is incredibly sweaty and it’s a peck on the lips letting her know you’re proud of her. A kiss on the back of her neck while you’re watching your son or daughter sleep. These are the kisses that define us. The kisses that we relate to moments we live for.

You’re Amazing: I Hope You Know That

a-candles_and_roses-1531917I see you and I see something that can be potentially great. I’m not afraid to say that I check your profile a couple times a week. I see when you go out and wonder if I should stop by and “accidently” run into you though my pride won’t allow me to be that guy. I’ve been trying to think of a way to phrase this but I’m your fan.

A part of me is almost afraid to meet you because I don’t think you can live up to the persona I’ve created for you in my head. I understand that. I get that I see you in a way that may not even be real and I’m not sure I want to disturb that. Maybe not knowing is good for me, if I did go out with you and hear you laugh, get used to your voice, feel your energy. If I did those things and they were what I think they are? Could I ever go back to not knowing you? I doubt it.

At 4am sitting at work these are the things I think about. You are what I think about. Will it happen one day, I honestly don’t know, but I do know I’ll enjoy thinking about it.

Ten Romantic Ideas For the Winter…

I’m at work and the day is moving sort of slow, my wifi just won’t act right and who really works on a Friday anyway. So I’m going to give the world or the 12.3 people that read my blog some tips on how to be original, charming and romantic in these upcoming winter months. Nothing over the top that the average guy can’t afford but nothing like dinner and a movie either. Chicks get tired of the norm so give them something they can brag to their friends about. These are the key concepts to always keep in mind. Know your woman and what she will and won’t take to. Liquor and humor are your best friends and if push comes to shove always compliment the parts of her body that appeal to her ego. Don’t tell her she has a nice ass if she knows it’s flat or that I love your hair if you both know she shouldn’t have cut it. She loves her breasts so talk about her boobs, simple right? So read up and enjoy.

Ten: Houston is not a cold weather city which means our Winter is like most people’s Fall. This is not a bad thing at all because it allows women to still rock Fall clothing but not actually freeze. And fyi, very few women like being teeth chattering cold, unless she’s from Minnesota or something. And you want a Southern boo in your life anyway. So picnics are the perfect way of life. You can get a basket from Family Dollar, ready made fresh food and fruit from a HEB and of course wine. Chicks love wine. It won’t be humid or hot, there won’t be crazy mosquitoes, the tress will have that Fall color to the leaves and most important… When is the last time someone took her on an actual picnic? 

Nine: Take her shopping. But somewhere that you’re comfortable spending money and somewhere that you know she’ll like. I personally can’t afford to take a woman to Neimans and ball out but I do know several boutiques that are quite reasonable and have really cute clothes. She won’t try and break you and 9 times out of 10 she’ll ask you how much she has to spend. Women are sort of upfront like that when you’re sleeping together. If you’re not having sex, give her budget so there’s no confusion. If you want her, do the things to show her.

Eight: Two words… “Road Trip” my friends… Give her two weeks notice so she can get her affairs in check and tell her, “We’re going to Austin or Dallas next weekend, I already made the hotel reservations and got us tickets to blah blah blah.” Two words turn women on like nothing else. Tickets and reservations. Look, you aren’t taking her to Cabo for a week or Spain for the winter but you’re giving her a break and that’s all she really wants. Will you be required to do more in the future, yes, but for now this will do.

Seven: Take advantage of living in a really big, really pampery city. Houston probably has more spas per square mile than anywhere because we have all these mega communities like the Woodlands, Pearland, Sugarland and Katy. You go online, find a spa special where she gets a massage and mud treatment for a couple hours. Maybe you spend 120 and she has like three months to use it. So when she’s had a long day at work or a bad week she’ll remember that spa certificate, go use it and you’ll get all the residual effects from her good vibrations.

Six: Set her up a photo shoot. I’m being dead serious by the way. She’s on Facebook or Instagram all the time seeing women she knows she looks better than posting “model pics.” So tell her you know a guy with a studio and you set her something up, makeup artist are a dime a dozen in Houston, pay a chick 65 dollars to do her makeup professionally and make her dinner and work on a concept with her. She’ll complain about needing to get in shape or not having time but believe me she’ll be excited. Most women haven’t had an actual photo shoot since they graduated High School or College. Every woman has an inner model.

Five: Paintball, indoor rock climbing, laser tag. That mix between having fun and exerting energy. Lounges are great, bars are better and restaurants are cool but they do get old and sometimes you just need to let her shoot you in the face with a paintball gun. Or push you off a fake mountain so she can beat you. It’s fun and it’s different and it’ll allow her to buy some cool paintball clothes. I started off this blog by talking about how perfect our Winters are, I meant that. Running around and being a kid in 55 degree weather leads to amazing early nights and “in house” competition. Wink wink.

Four: I can’t take credit for this one because I stole it from Whitney while we were having a conversation but do you know how much time goes by when you’re playing with her iPod or she’s playing with yours looking at playlists, reminiscing about old songs. Making new lists and laughing about why this is on there or what happened to that guy. Music is so Universal, corporate women love Jeezy and UGK. The hardest guys love Al Green or Prince. A bottle or two of her favorite wine, a small bottle of Patron, a pizza and talking about and listening to music all night. You can’t make up those sorts of memories.

Three: Do something selfless. Take a Sunday morning, make sandwiches, get a bunch of Gatorades and go downtown and pass them out. Go to a nursing home and play dominoes with the elderly, just talk to them. Charity is going to allow you two to really appreciate how good you have it and by appreciating that you’ll appreciate each other more. This time of year is hard for a lot of families, helping them is going to give that relationship or courtship life.

Two: Take her to the gun range. Simple, efficient and you can’t imagine how much a woman will love shooting a gun until you see her shooting a gun.

One: Kiss her. Kiss her when you get in the car to go somewhere. Kiss her when she’s getting out the shower. Kiss her when you’re standing at the stove and she tries to steal a fry or carrot. There is power and love and lust and perfection in those stolen kisses.



Fall… Women… Fashion

I make no secret of my love for women, for pretty faces and nice smiles. I’m sure most men love women, that doesn’t make me special or unique. I just happen to love the details, the specifics that make women… women.

That’s why I love Fall and Fashion when it comes to women. It’s the perfect combination if there ever was one. I’ve been in really cold cities in the Fall and those big coats and scarves, gloves. That’s not what you want. But in a city like Houston where the perfect Fall day is like 65 degrees and partly cloudy it’s Heaven on earth.

Tight jeans, a thin thermo or button down shirt, a cute jacket. Nice boots.

A sexy pair of slacks, a cute light sweater, four inch closed toe heels.

Fall clothing is just sexy, it screams intoxicating. Not to mention the lack of humidity and what it does for her hair. I know so many women that curl their hair and it looks amazing in the mirror but as soon as they step outside and the humidity hits it… it goes limp.

In the Fall that hair stays curly and bouncy and women with nice hair just have more confidence.

The summer is for short shorts, linen and thin dresses.

The winter is for velvet and leather and accessories.

The spring is all about getting ready for the summer.

But the Fall, the Fall is when you mix all those things together. And women are just great when it comes to that. A lot of people don’t know this about me but when I write I always imagine a real person, real traits, real skin texture, a real voice. It literally helps me make the character more authentic.

Today I saw a picture of a woman in a fitted dress, long legs, a blazer on and her hair was all wild and free. I must have looked at that picture, studied it for about five minutes. I didn’t comment on it, I didn’t like it, I just admired the effort it must have taken for her to walk out the house looking so perfect.

Looking so Fallish.

Gold, Bronze, deep purples, these are the colors I see on women when I imagine this season. Bangles and earrings that accent nice jackets and boots, it all works in unison and it all drives us wild. Jill Scott, Norah Jones, John Legend, I can see those evenings now.

Us casual chic, tipsy, her holding onto me because she’s had too much to drink and the music has her feeling a certain way. The chill in the air since we’ll be outside, nipples being attacked by the wind, jeans that hug every curve she has. You don’t get these sorts of the nights anytime but the Fall.

Fall, Fashion and Women…. I’m so about that life!

Now I just have to find a woman to share these moments with.