The Good Ones Go If You Wait Too Long

Stop Waiting

Stop Waiting

1. Stop being prideful, you know what pride gets you? A bottle of gin and an empty house. If you miss her, tell her. Don’t text, don’t be passive aggressive on social media. Just call her or go see her and tell her.

2. Please don’t let social media and all these articles blow your head up. I don’t care how many single people there are in this world, if someone is sexy and smart and sweet. They’ll have suitors. No matter how much she’s into you, no matter how much of your shit she takes. There will come a day when her interest dies and there won’t be any turning back.

3. Don’t be the guy that’s afraid to get rejected. You wait and wait and wait not knowing if she’ll like “A guy like me.” Send that message, be honest, be likable. Don’t hide in the shadows hoping and wishing and when you finally get the courage she’s taken. You know how that’s going to feel when she responds, “I would have said yes two weeks ago but I’ve met someone.” Maybe she’s just being nice but maybe she’s telling the truth and your future wife will be drinking hot chocolate in her panties and tank top with someone else.

4. We all like to feel important. It doesn’t make you lame or thirsty for calling the same day you got her number. You aren’t pressed if you see her on Friday night and when you call and tell her you made it home; you ask her out on Saturday. If she’s important to you, if spending time with her feels better than spending time with anyone else in your life. Don’t act like it doesn’t. Letting her know you want to see more of her isn’t creepy, it’s being a man.

5. I once read an article about the art of going in for a goodnight kiss. You should look into her eyes and wait for the right moment and not be too aggressive. That’s loser talk! Look, when you go in for a kiss there can’t be any hesitation. If she doesn’t want that, you’ll know before you’re five feet within her space. Women will deal with assholes, broke guys, pretty boys but what they won’t deal with; is scary men. Don’t be the guy that turns her on with your conversation, cologne, mannerisms and then falls into the “Just a Friend Zone” because you never took the chance to take it to a more intimate level.

My Definition of A Woman… Wait, How Can I Define A Woman?

Author Demez F. White

Author Demez F. White

My Definition of A Woman… Wait, How Can I Define A Woman?

Do you know exactly what you want? Have you thought about it and dreamed about it and pleasured yourself to everything from how she’s going to look to what she’s going to be wearing. Have you defined exactly what you want from her and what she’s going to do for you?

I know I have. I’ve thought about it often and if I’m being honest, in doing that I’m doing myself an injustice. One of the coolest things about women is that none of them are exactly alike. Sure, women can dress alike and talk alike but each person is just interestingly different. So why are we trying to define them?

Some of the best relationships and friendships of my life have come when I got to know women that were outside of my comfort zone. I’m a confident man but I can be quiet at times; I like to sit down and survey the room, listen to the conversation before I get in and give my opinion. That life of the party, let’s take shots woman, knows everyone’s name woman. That’s not what I saw myself with until I actually talked to her and fell in love with her and got inspired by her. It may not have lasted but it helped me become a better man, I better writer.

My definition of a woman isn’t what she does or what she wears. It isn’t that we have to have sex this many times or she needs to cook that many times. My definition of a woman isn’t anything I can define. When she walks into a room do I smile as though my direct deposit just hit on a Friday when I wasn’t expecting it until Monday? Does she respect her mother, laugh with her sisters, have friends that trust her? If I can’t write does a text from her telling me something silly or freaky or funny inspire the words to jump off the page? These are the questions I ask myself, not before I meet her, this isn’t an interview. These are the questions I ask when I’m falling in love and I don’t know about you but I can’t put falling in love in any sort of category nor can I define it. I just know it feels perfect.

A woman should be, wait, that doesn’t sound right. A women needs to be, stop, that doesn’t sound right either. A woman is perfect if she’s, if she’s what? Many men, including myself have become experts in what a woman should be. How she should dress, how she should act, what she should do with her vagina and hair and career. It’s not hard really, all it takes is an opinion, and we all have them. What I’ve seen lately however is the habitual destruction of individualism and creativity.

By giving a woman a definition, a standard she has to meet or else, aren’t we, aren’t I, taking away the very thing we love about most women. That piece of them that separates them from the last woman we dated. Yes, there will be general characteristics we’re attracted to. I love women that are witty, sexy, geeky but confident but does that mean I need to define every other aspect of what I want out of her? Instead defining I’m just going to start enjoying.

The next time you get ready to compare a woman to another woman or tell the world why these sorts of women suck or these sorts are amazing. Just remember we’re defined by our actions, not anything else.

Demez F. White

10am Thoughts in Houston

Lounging on my couch, too tired to go write, hungry but not feeling like cooking breakfast I can’t help but to take stock on where I am in this search for a wife. Or for something more meaningful then a situationship.

I’ve been up trying to wonder when’s the last time a woman cooked for me. Breakfast, lunch, dinner? I literally can’t remember. Then I tried to think when’s the last time someone showed up at my home and surprised me with food or wearing something sexy. I can’t remember that.

It seems I’m always the giver. Financially, emotionally, sexually. I’m always the one that has to please, not really asking for much because I don’t want to have to ask. If you like or love someone it should just come natural.

Starting the year I had so much hope. I still have hope but there has to be something in my character that pushes people away.

My Christmas tree is still up; I keep telling myself its because I’m being lazy but it’s more than that. I think it’s the only thing that makes my home feel homey. I’ll take it down before the weekend but for the next day or so I’ll just look at it.

There’s things I miss. Things I need to find in 2014 or else hope may not be enough.


Losing Control…

It’s perfectly fine to lose control

Because to lose control means you’re comfortable enough to let go

It means your mind and heart were at ease

Losing control is not caring about the faces you make or the screams that come out

Losing control is not stressing over forgetting a condom or when will she leave

Losing control is speaking your mind during pillow talk

It’s telling her not what she wants to hear but what you feel

Losing control is her body being on fire and yours being gasoline

It’s fighting and cursing and fussing all in the name of love

There is nothing the matter with losing control

As long as you lose control with the right person6230014-close-up-of-ethnic-black-woman-hips-in-white-panties-white-caucasian-man-hand-on-dark-skinned-africa