Sometimes Your Heart Needs More Time to Accept What Your Mind Already Knows

bed1I haven’t been writing on www.demezw.com as much as I have in previous years, focusing on finishing up a couple novels but sometimes you see a quote that’s so perfect you have to get an article out of it. “Sometimes your heart needs more time to accept what your mind already knows.” Perfectly sums up what a lot of people are going through in everyday life.

I’ve gotten back to my roots of being more of a reader than a writer in the past couple months. Whether it’s novels, articles or blogs; I’ve allowed my mind and imagination to become a sponge. I see a lot of articles on relationships and what you should or shouldn’t accept. So much of it is black and white. When the truth is, relationships are rarely black and white; the same can be said for most aspects of life.

We are not robots or computers that can act without emotion. Pain, pleasure, passion, heartbreak, love, depression, these are all traits that make us who we are and sometimes traits that override common sense or the logical choice.

Knowing what you need to do is completely different than actually doing it. I can quote song lyric after song lyric about the woman that’s in love with a man she shouldn’t be in love with. Whether it’s Country Music, Rock, Blues, Hip Hop or R&B. That feeling is universal because love is a universal language. I’ve watched Operas that were in Latin or French and couldn’t understand a word but through music and emotion I was able to feel it.

The “feeling it” aspect to life and love isn’t something you can quantify or control. It grabs you and smothers you until it decides to let you go. That’s your heart telling your mind, “I know what we have to do, I just need a little more time.”

Love Letter #12

Dear Future Wife,

Good Morning! I woke up in a really good mood this morning and I’d like to think you had something to do with that. I know you prayed for me last night, I know you slept alone dreaming about us. I can’t explain how I know, I just know.

Love is about realizing what’s important. It’s about waking up and smiling because the bills are paid and I know we’re going to go to church. It’s about seeing you wrapped in a towel and not wanting you physically but just smiling because you’re here, because I can feel you in the room. I’m not afraid of falling anymore, I’ve started to warm at the thought of it.

When I was younger I told myself I wouldn’t be ready for a wife until I could give her this seven thousand dollar ring and house and present her with a new car on our six month anniversary. My ideas of what love and commitment were, were childish, not childish because they aren’t great gestures but childish because love isn’t materialistic or based on what you can do for me and I can do for you. Love is simple and you build on it, you build on the small things until one day you look up and the big things are just there. Just here.

I would never give you a fake diamond because it looked like something really expensive. I know what you deserve and I will give you that one day but I have no problem falling to my knees with a one carat ring I got from a pawn shop. I would love to sit on the tail gate of my truck eating pizza and HEB wine with you while you’re wearing that ring proudly. There’s nothing fake about our future, nothing fake about the potential greatness of our love. Over these past couple of years I’ve prepared myself for you and I’m excited. I can see the growth and I can see us.

Different men prioritize different things. Some value money, some lust, some just want attention with no real motive other than filling a void. I value funny, I value soft, I value family and honesty and morals. Maybe if I would have written this letter two years ago I’d have been writing about morning sex when writing to my future wife, when writing to you. Now all I want in the morning is for you to wake me up for work and for us to talk while we get ready. Just to be loved by you and for you to know I’d lay down my life without hesitation for you.

So good morning beautiful and enjoy your day! Our day is coming soon, know that.

Love Always and Forever,

Demez F. White

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5 Non- Sensual Ways to Show Affection and Intimacy

One- Grocery shopping together, this leads to spending time together, laughing, people watching. There’s something incredibly intimate about buying frozen veggies and Honey Nut Cheerios.

Two- A woman sending you pictures while she’s trying on clothes at a store. “Hey babe, do you like this?” “How does this look on me?” Not this new trend of taking pictures and posting them online but knowing the only opinion that matters to her is yours, that’s cool.

Three- Working out together. Now to be honest I don’t really do this but I have and the competition, the sweating, the conversation. You’re literally spending 45 minutes to an hour just bonding.

Four- Helping her take off nail polish or take out braids. You get to see her like few people do and because she’s yours it’s okay. For a second you think about how your boys would laugh if they saw you sitting with her foot in your lap while you wipe away polish. For a second you think how gay you must look taking out braids hoping you don’t cut her real hair and make her go off. Then you realize being here doing this with her is better than front row at a Mayweather- Pacquio fight. That’s intimacy, that’s affection, that’s a relationship.

Five- Leaving somewhere together. A party, a restaurant, the movies. That drive home knowing you’re the one taking her home when every guy in the room was looking at her. Holding her hand, her hand on your thigh, her hand rubbing your neck. Not in a sexual way but in a comfortable way like she just likes touching you. It’s hard to explain if you’re not a man that gets it but for whatever reason when a woman loves you or is just into you she likes touching you.

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