Sobering Thoughts Before Dawn

Today makes 5 days of soberness. I’ve never been much of a soda drinker outside of putting it in scotch or bourbon so giving that up wasn’t hard.

My stomach doesn’t hurt as much, I’ve been sleeping better and I’ve probably drank more water in the past week then I probably drank the last 4 months. Even with saying all that I’m up right now withy the rain falling and the cold bearing down wishing I had a whiskey neat warming me. Does that make me weak?

Weak that I’m craving something that’s literally making me sick? That’s more of a depressant than it is a stimulant. I often wonder if it’s just in my genes, if it’s something that no matter how hard I try it’ll always be on my back.

I’m not an alcoholic, I’ve seen intervention but at times I do feel lost.

I’ve pushed people away so that I can get my mind right. Thus is something I needed to do alone. Something I have to do alone.

Pray for me.

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