My Bestfriend Took Me On A Date Yesterday and I Might Leave My Girlfriend For Her

fullsizerender2 Relationships are like jobs in the sense that no matter how great they might be there are days where you’re just tired or moments where you know you have a good thing but you need reminding.
Yesterday I was sitting on the couch getting ready to engulf myself in NBA Basketball and a Game of Thrones Marathon when my bestfriend showed up and told me to take a shower and get dressed. I asked where we were going and they told me they didn’t know but that we were going to have a good time.

I threw on some jeans, a shirt and a blazer and waited for them to get ready. A part of me felt guilty for how I felt when she walked out the room. Is it normal to be attracted to your bestfriend? I wanted to hug her, to touch her cheek, feel her neck but I have a girlfriend so instead I just told her she looked nice and we left.

The first stop was happy hour in Katy and we were overdressed for the restaurant but I couldn’t stop staring at the way the dress was hugging her shape and once again I had to remind myself that I was a taken man. Sitting at the bar talking to a bartender about basketball and high school and whispering and giggling whenever she walked away, I was having a good time. A better time than I’d been having with my girlfriend recently and that surprised me. We’d always had this great chemistry and over time I hadn’t been smiling as much.

Now, I couldn’t stop smiling and if I wasn’t guilty for looking at her thighs on that barstool I was for sure guilty for comparing the two women.

She kept complimenting me and trying to take pictures of me and as much as men aren’t supposed to worry about such things, I found myself liking the attention. A beautiful woman that craved my presence, it felt good. My girlfriend is always telling me how special I am but when my bestfriend said it, there was a difference. I didn’t feel as though she was saying it because she felt obligated but because she wanted to be around me. Needed to be around me.

Stop two took us to Cyclone Anaya’s and by this time I’d say we were tipsy. The nachos were horrible, the bartender never cut the basketball games on and they mixed up our drinks. Even with all that we just talked. Talked about old friends, talked about life. Talked about things I wouldn’t talk to anyone else about and by this time any guilt I felt was gone. Being with the most beautiful woman in the room has a way of easing your guilt.

I admitted something to her that I’d never admitted to anyone. I admitted that something she told me about my upcoming novel made me change it. Her advice literally made me sit at my computer and re-think a chapter or two, something I’d never done before. Something my girlfriend never inspired me to do but this woman, this amazingly interesting and beautiful minded woman, did just that. Finding myself holding her hand as we walked and rubbing the small of her back I looked around for a second to make sure I didn’t see anyone that may have knew my woman but by then I didn’t care.

Is it possible to fall in love after one date with someone you’ve known for years? Is it possible to love two women at the same time? These are questions I was asking myself as I held her and allowed my lips to find her neck in the elevator. Just a pec, just a kiss to let her know maybe we should be, could be, more than friends.

Our last stop found us at Hotel Sorella drinking martini’s and on our phones more than we were talking to each other. I didn’t mind because being in her presence was enough. It was one of those moments where she wanted to take pictures together and for a second I wanted to stop it. I wanted to tell her, “This has been an amazing day but I have a woman at home that’s dope, that loves me.” I didn’t say any of those things though. I just took the pictures and allowed our bodies to mesh as the sun started to set over City Centre.

Ending the night right back where we started at my home I watched her stumble into the couch and just lay there. Taking off her shoes she alternated between checking her phone and looking at me.

I alternated between thoughts of kissing her and thoughts of not wanting to ruin our friendship and my relationship. I started making some snacks and she got up and told me it was time to go. Holding her hand I wanted to ask her to stay but doing that would probably make me lose my bestfriend and my girlfriend. I kissed her like friends shouldn’t kiss and stood at the door as she walked away.

As soon as I turned around my girlfriend showed up and I smiled because I could tell she’d had a good day too. That took away some of my guilt. Eating a bar food type dinner while watching Love and Hip Hop I enjoyed the company of the woman that had become the best of both worlds.

4am Thoughts From San Juan

My First Night In San Juan
  
  

Coming from a city like Houston, Tx I’m used to noise. I live by a railroad track, the dogs barking, police sirens. Noise stops becoming noise and simply becomes a part of everyday life. Noise will never be the same to me though. I can’t sleep so I’m sitting on the 7th floor of my hotel balcony listening to the Atlantic Ocean crash against the shores. 

I ate dinner tonight at this restaurant right off the beach. I was literally the only person on the patio. The only person at the restaurant. Twenty feet away from me the waves crashed over a bunch of rocks. I thought to myself, “How do people get used to such beauty.” I had a meal of stuffed plantains with shrimp and beans and rice. I noticed two things quickly. Every meal comes with beans and rice and bananas and vegetables. 

After dinner tonight I changed and just walked for almost an hour. Careful not to get lost and taking my watch off and putting it in my pocket I wanted to just feel the city. There are no stray dogs though almost every other person I saw walking has one. Iguanas that are maybe 4-6 feet long walk around as though they don’t have a worry in the world. The bars are beautiful, almost all of them have some sort of view of the ocean. 

I’m 32 and I’ve never ridden public transportation. But paying 20 dollars every time I hop in a cab isn’t the most cost efficient way of traveling so tomorrow I’m hoping on a bus to Old San Juan. Sitting on this beautiful beach or by the perfect pool drinking mojito’s all day is appealing but culture and adventure await me! I feel like a child on Christmas Eve. Castles and Forts on the beach, 800 year old museums. I guess it would be cool to downplay my excitement but why front? 

I’ve never flew standby before so this morning I felt like I was waiting on a lottery as I watched the woman at the airport counter to see if she would call my name. It was the scariest feeling ever not having any control. And then rushing through the airport in Miami getting to my connecting flight with 2 minutes left. Sitting on the plane next to a black man from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania that has lived in Puerto Rico for 20 years. Talking his ear off, asking question after question. 

I’m not in my comfort zone and earlier that bothered me. But as the day has worn on I’ve found myself embracing it. My girlfriend is here working so our time together will be spent to evenings and maybe a lunch or waterfall if we can fit it in. I’m proud of her so it doesn’t bother me. What would bother me is if I didn’t challenge myself to do these amazing things on my on! 

Anyway. Today is only the first day and I’m already running my mouth. I have two more nights to chat with you all from my balcony in San Juan. 

Can I Have You For Lunch?

“What are you wearing today?” He called her from the Hotel lobby. It was quiet in the middle of a Wednesday.

“You ask me that everyday? Why do you want to know? If you’re putting me in one of your stories I need to see a check.” She laughed knowing she was going to tell him, she just liked playing this game.

“Just tell me and stop being difficult.” He smiled to himself; he hadn’t heard her laugh in a couple of days.

“Leopard and black lace underwear, black bra, grey slacks, purple camisole, grey purple and white cardigan sweater and drum roll… Four inch purple suede pumps.” She looked at her pumps sitting on the floor next to her desk. They were made for modeling, not working. She touched up her lip gloss.

“Can you work in four inch pumps?” Her tone changed, she lowered her voice before she answered.

“I can put in more work than you can imagine in these pumps.” He adjusted the way he was sitting, he didn’t want people to see his erection.

“Take an extended lunch and meet me at Hotel Granduca in Uptown Park.” There was a silence, she wanted him as much as he wanted her but there was a silence.

“I have a lot of work to do.” He knew she wanted him to need her; to stop showing his representative, to stop being so cool and be real.

“I haven’t seen you in weeks. My attorney, my publishers, my grandparents. I’m dealing with a lot and the only time my mind has peace is when I’m inside of you. There’s no place in the world as calm as your body on top of mine. I need you, please.” He gave her what she needed, what he feared. Access to what no one else saw.

“Don’t game me author. Don’t use that million dollar imagination to get in my head and between my legs if you don’t mean this shit.” She needed to know this was real because she was falling whether he knew it or not.

“I’ll be waiting.” He smiled and checked into the hotel.

She hung up the phone and smiled at what was to come.