Heaven and Hell In A Touch

Touching you is like Heaven to a God.

Touching you makes life feel worth living.

Touching you gives me a feeling that I haven’t felt since I wrote my first story.

I have nightmares about the goosebumps on your thighs. About the moistness between your thighs, my nightmares are that I’ll never see them again.

Or that I’ll never kiss or touch them again. I wake up looking around afraid that our best nights were our last nights.

I wake up scared to death that you’re with another man. That he has your nipple in his mouth or your finger tracing his chest as you lie in bed and talk.

I can’t sleep because the feeling of your naked body on my body is the only thing that gives me rest.

Touching you gives me a comfort that calms me.

Touching you gives me life that I never expected to have.

I hate the fact that I met you because I fear that I’ll never meet another like you.

I hate the fact that you know what you do to me and could care less because you’ve probably did it to a thousand men.

I hate the fact that your smile can change my mind set in .00001 seconds.

Touching you is what God wanted when he invented our hands.

Touching you is what Satan wants when he wants me to sin.

Touching you is my Heaven and my Hell…

I need you but I know you’re the worst thing that could have ever happened to me because you represent hope and love and desire. Why do I need all those things if all you’re going to do is walk away from me.

Your touch changed my life.

Your touch made me hate life.

I’ll bounce back from your touch but just know you’ll never meet a man that would have loved you more than I loved you.

For I not only love with my heart and soul but I love with my fingertips and the tip of my tongue and the tips of my soul.

~ Demez F. White


I’m All In

cba 3I write these two page short stories every now and again because I want people to know what they’re getting when they buy my novel. I use my name because I put my emotions and my life in these words, in every word.

“Is it real?” I put my Corona on the floor and leaned back, was she serious?

“Do you want to touch it and see if it’s real?” She smiled and blew me a kiss.

I couldn’t remember the last time I was speechless about anything. She was standing in front of me, her jeans unzipped, her wet t-shirt pulled up past her bra and her pink nails removing the bandage. I wasn’t surprised by what she was about to show me but I was surprised that she’d actually went through with it.

It never came up but I was sure she got some kind of laser hair removal down there because every since I’d known her intimately it was as smooth as babies skin. There they were, staring me in the face. Two letters about the size of big paper clips sitting right below her panty line. Damn near glowing from the ointment that was covering them.

I downed my beer and stood up. Her eyes wouldn’t leave mine.

I wish I could front but I couldn’t, seeing my initials on someone so beautiful did something to my ego. This wasn’t a woman that had a bunch of tattoos or was impulsive, she thought about everything she did, we talked about everything to the point of wanting to strangle each other at times. So the fact that she did this scared me more than anything.

It told me she wasn’t playing any games. I rubbed my hand across the D first and then the W. Outside of a wedding ring or a baby how much more real could a situation get? She let her panties go and the lace covered my finger. I didn’t move it.

The rain was coming down harder now.

“I told you the other night this was yours.” She took my hand and slid it a couple of inches to the left, we were still standing.

“I wasn’t lying to you the yesterday, if I can’t have you, I swear no one will because no one else is going to have me!” She put her head in the crook of my neck and started to suck, she was a bitter.

Looking out the window at the rain falling, looking at the table, at her cell phone glowing with our picture on the screen I knew she was in deep. I was sure I loved her but the intensity with which she loved me was crazy. Before her I thought I had jealousy issues, after her I really learned what jealousy issues were. Even with everything that was going on in my head, the harder she sucked my neck the harder I pushed my two fingers inside of her. She was grinding on them, I knew it was just a matter of time before she pushed me down on the couch.

The tattoo was real, my initials were on her for life now. Did I even want that kind of responsibility in my life?

She pushed me on the couch and tried to climb on top of me, I stopped her and flipped her on the couch. I fell to my knees and pulled down her jeans just a bit, pulled at her panties just a bit and wiped the tattoo with my t-shirt. Then I licked it and kissed it.

She rubbed my hair and looked down at me, “What are you doing D?”

I looked up and pulled her shirt down, I kissed her stomach. “Would you die for me, fight for me?”

Her lips felt so soft on my forehead. “If there’s no you, there’s no me.” I pulled her face to mine and kissed her, the thunder made her jump so I kissed her harder.

“It’s throbbing baby, can you stop all this touching and kissing and kiss “it?”” I stood her up, zipped up her jeans and pinched her nipple.

“I promise to stop the throbbing when we get back.” I grabbed my jacket off the couch and opened the door with the rain coming down hard.

“It’s nasty out there boy! Where are we going?” She was pulling at my belt and trying to get my shirt off.

“Back to the tattoo place, if you’re all in. So am I.”

No more words needed to be said, she just cut off the lights and grabbed her jacket. “I’ll take care of you in the car, let’s go.” The smile on her face was huge.

I locked the door and went to get her initials.

Maybe we had some sort of crazy co-dependent relationship.

Maybe I was drawn to her because she needed saving and I needed to be needed.

Maybe having the novel out and having a career that was blossoming didn’t fulfill me like I thought it would.

Either way, yesterday morning when I woke with her straddling me, tears in her eyes and a silk scarf in her hands.

“I’ll kill you or myself before I let you leave me, do you understand me?” She was naked, her eyes were almost swollen from the tears, all I could do was hold her to stop the shaking. Most men would have ran or been scared. I’d never been more infatuated, more in love.

When you’re alone for so long you tend to appreciate when someone loses their mind over you and in turn you probably lose a little of your mind. Was I losing mines?


I’ve often said that the woman is the star in most relationships. It’s quite simple actually, for a man sexual pleasure pretty much revolves around one act. But for a woman, most women at least there has to be more there, there has to be a certain level of comfort at the very least. A certain level of arousal that’s not only physical but mental.

I don’t really remember my first kiss, I don’t remember the first time I touched a girl in an inappropriate place or slow danced with her. I suppose I should remember those things but the truth is, they just weren’t that memorable.

But there is one thing I remember; I remember the first time I brought a woman to climax. The first time I felt the rush of pleasing someone, the power that sexual stimulation has. It wasn’t like a porno where she screamed my name and the credits started to roll, there weren’t candles burning and Jodeci in the background.

It was a Thursday and we were out of school for something, some Holiday, I remember her lying on the couch and it came so natural to me to walk over and take control. But not of her, of the situation, pleasure is about more than touching and feeling and groping. It’s about the anticipation that each time is going to be different. It’s about taking your time but not being timid. I’ve never thought about getting mines first, mainly because of pride but mostly because if you please someone she’s going to go out of her way to return the favor in most cases.

The Ultimate Pleasure is Giving Pleasure

Leaving inhibitions at the door and allowing yourself to be taught, I’m twenty eight and there is one fact about women that I will forever know is true. There is no way I can no her body better than she can, NO WAY AT ALL! I can watch, I can listen, I can learn but I can never touch her the way she touches herself. So it’s up to me to take a deep breath and pay attention.

I would hope that the people who read my writing are adults and as an adult we all know sex is a big part of who we are. It’s not more important than a lot of things in our lives but it can damn sure add to our quality of life when done right. Especially when we’re getting satisfied.

How many of us have been in situations where we knew we were doing our part but the person we were with just couldn’t satisfy us? It’ s a feeling that transcends race, age, financial status.

I don’t believe in hiding who I am or what I like because the truth will always come to light, I love women and I love the feeling of a kiss, the feeling of sensual thoughts hiding behind her eyes. I want my voice to be able to bring her to arousal from a thousand miles away, not because of my words but because of the memories that are going to come to her mind when she’s alone and horny and needing to have that release.

Writing about sex has never made me uncomfortable because it’s not cheesy or over the top. I’m no porn star or sexual expert, I’m just a man that understands the value of giving pleasure. The detail and focus that it takes to notice a collarbone, a finger, the back of a neck, all the places that are neglected.

Now, in honor of the first real rainy day we’ve had in awhile, here’s a couple of paragraphs to make your thoughts run wild, I hope you enjoy.

One Last Time  

“It’s storming and I have a flat. Triple A is telling me that it’s going to take two hours at the least, I can’t get a hold of my brother or father. I didn’t have anyone else to call, the rain is really falling and I don’t like being out here. I even tried to change it myself but the bolts are stuck or something on the rim.”

Calling him was the last thing I wanted to do, we hadn’t talked in a month, not so much as a text but I knew he would come. A part of me knew I was using him but I was scared, I wasn’t in a bad part of town but the area I was in was damn near the country. Why I moved all the way out here… I couldn’t remember now.

“Okay, let me tell my guys I’m leaving and I’ll be there in about thirty. Just get in the car and lock the doors, you need anything?” This was the problem with us, we didn’t know how to be friends and we weren’t ready to be strangers. I was in trouble I called him and he dropped everything he was doing, he takes control and I know everything is going to be alright.

“I’m fine, I’ll be waiting, thanks.”

“No problem.”

We hung up and I just looked at my phone, he was a good man and I was a good woman but something about us just wasn’t right. We were too dependent on each other and that scared me, I needed to know who I was without him. At least that’s what I told myself and as soon as I get in a situation he’s the person I have to end up calling.

And it wasn’t just that he was coming to fix my tire, it was that I hadn’t had sex since the last time we saw each other. So many nights I just sat in the bed naked and air drying holding my phone. Wanting to call him, needing some dick but I just couldn’t do that to him, do that to us. Now in the middle of a thunderstorm he was playing my knight in shining armor. I’d had a couple of margaritas after work and I was in my feelings something serious.

It was only six but it was dark as hell and the stretch of road I was on had no street lights. The fact that I was able to pull over under an overpass was a miracle or else I was sure someone would have hit me. The rain hitting my window, the radio was doing one of those rainy day slow jam sessions, before I knew it my hands had a mind of their own. I opened my legs and cracked the window just a little so I could hear it better. Sucking my finger I pushed my panties to the side and started to touch it, masturbating in strange places always got me a little wetter than normal. The more I touched it, the wetter I got, the more I saw his face, the more I felt his tongue. I grabbed my phone out the cup holder, took my panties off and placed them on the steering wheel. I snapped a pic and sent it to him.

The body wants what it wants.

He didn’t text back but I knew he got it, he responded to everything I sent. A lot of men said certain women made them crazy but their actions didn’t really show that. His actions did.

Ten minutes later he pulled up behind me, I left my panties on the steering wheel and unlocked the doors. His lights went off and I heard his door close, he opened my passenger door and pulled me across the seat without saying a word. From the passenger side there was no way a soul could see us. I pulled my skirt up, one leg was on the dashboard, the other over his shoulder. As soon as his lips touched it I could feel the shocks shoot up my body, as soon as his fingers went inside I couldn’t help but unsnap my bra and throw it in the backseat. I knew he liked to fuck me with my clothes on but no lingerie.

He was just nasty like that, I was nasty too so it worked, if our heads weren’t so screwed up we would be alright.

“Eat it! She missed you! I missed you! Look how wet she is for you! Taste it baby! Taste it!”

My ass was coming off the seat, my hands were trying to reach for his head but with my legs going every way I couldn’t get it so I gripped the steering wheel and the top of my skirt.


Five minutes later I was trying to close my legs after cumming as hard as I’d came in months but he was having none of it, he turned me over and pushed himself in from the back. He was home!


The harder he got, the more I pushed back, why did sex have to feel so good?! Why did I have to drink those drinks! Would I be doing this shit if I was sober?!


“YES! YEEEES! TELL ME YOU LOVE ME! SAY IT!” I was trying my best to turn around and look at him but the shit was just feeling too good.

“Cum in me, cum wherever you want! I LOVE YOU BABY! I LOVE YOU!”

I felt him cumming and pushed my ass back harder, tightened my walls and felt his hand around my neck. My heart was beating out of my chest, my blouse was soaked and I had tears in my eyes. I turned around and brought his face to mine, I loved kissing him and tasting my juices on his tongue.

“Now change my tire!” He laughed and went to fix the tire, followed me home and we stayed in bed cuddling, watching movies and eating naked the rest of the day. He left around two am and I slept like a baby.