How Much Is A Life Worth?

batonThis past week has opened up my eyes to what so many people see me as. When you get caught up in being in your bubble you tend to forget that there’s a world out there that will always see you as a nigger. In my 6 years of writing this blog, this may be my first time saying this word.

These past two weeks have opened my eyes to something I was ignorant too. No matter your education, your intelligence level. The way you speak or the way you dress, too certain segments of this population seeing a black face means the same.
The moment I walked into my doctor’s office and told them I had an accident the first question they asked me was, “What lawyer sent you?” Thought that was odd but okay. I go back a week later and tell them I need a refill on my prescription, they ask, “You sure you’re in pain?” Thought that was odd but okay. I tell them my job needs an update and I’m told, “We can make sure you’re off work for months if you don’t want to work. They’ll pay for it.” Now it’s not odd, now there’s no okay. I want my fingers to heal so I can write, I want my shoulder to not feel like it’s in a vice grip every time I sit down or lie down. These implications that I’m a scammer or junkie or don’t want to work are offensive. “But sir, we didn’t ummm…” You didn’t what? Realize that these dumb ass assumptions are either racist or ignorant?

We can tell these boys and men out here to speak better English. To present yourself better, to watch how you talk to people, hold your head down, don’t make them feel uncomfortable. Don’t ask questions, don’t put yourself in a position to be misunderstood and shot. What is it going to take for us to stop asking these questions? To stop going at each other and realize we need each other? Would it be easier if a man like me was shot? A guy with no criminal record and no questionable pictures, a guy that has hundreds of blogs and articles people can quote? Life is life and not everyone’s life comes in a pretty package but they still deserve that life if they haven’t done anything to lose it.

Stand for Something or Fall for Anything

black historyThis past couple of days has shown me a lot about some people. I find it disheartening when I see so many that simply don’t care. I’m not asking that you become a freedom fighter or boycott or march for peace. I’m not asking that you start to care about social issues or care about people that aren’t as fortunate as you. What I can’t understand though is how you don’t care about this Trayvon Martin issue? It touches at the soul of ignorance, racism and privilege.

I watched a juror on National Television say in front of the whole world that she felt sorry for “George,” that she could relate at the pain and suffering he went thru because of what happened to “that boy.” I watched person after person that doesn’t look like me say that a sidewalk was a weapon. I watched person after person say that it was both their faults.

You want to know why I’m not mad at these people walking on freeways or blacking out their pictures or being angry? I’m not mad at them because I’ve watched person after person say that this could have all been avoided of Trayvon would have just ran or told Zimmerman what he was doing walking at 7pm. Do you want to know what would have happened if Trayvon would have ran, he would have gotten shot in the back. Do you want to know what would have happened if Trayvon would have killed that man or really hurt him; he would be in prison at this very moment.

So we’re on the same page, I wasn’t even upset on Saturday night. When I heard the verdict my logic was a jury heard the case and voted what they thought was right. Over these last three days though, hearing the background of the jurors, their mindset. Hearing the attorneys and Zimmerman’s family, seeing the ignorance on social media, now it means so much more to me.

How can you only care about yourself, how can you only want to post pics and talk about your haters?

Those that know better do better!

Those that don’t, well… They end up running this same damn rat race.

Demez F. White

It Could Have Been Someone You Loved

youngSometimes we get so caught up in race or the moment that we ignore the injustice. Imagine getting a call while you’re at work or while you’re cooking dinner that he’s dead? Or that she’s not coming home?

He can be your son, your man, your father, your brother…

She can be your daughter, your wife, your bestfriend, your lover…

In May 2009, 9-year-old Brisenia Flores and her father Raul Flores were murdered in Arizona. Three men walked into their home and killed them screaming ‘Go back to Mexico!’ They followed them, waited until it got dark and killed them. After they shot her father, the little girl screamed ‘Please don’t shoot me.’ And she was then shot in the face. The mother watched shot and bleeding as her husband and daughter were executed for being Hispanic.

The Huffington Post

The family was 5th generation American.

“On March 13 2012 when five men pulled up alongside them in car while shouting anti-gay slurs. One of the victims was hit in the head with a baseball bat four times and lost consciousness, while other man tried to fight back and was caught in the passenger side of the attackers’ vehicle and dragged a short distance.”

These two men were black and weren’t even homosexual.

The Dallas Morning News

On November 25th 2006 Sean Bell was shot on the morning of his wedding. 50 bullets were shot at an unarmed man. The police wore plain clothes and never identified themselves as officers. Charges were brought and they were found not guilty.

No weapon or wrong doing was ever found on the victim’s part.

On February 26 2012 Trayvon Martin was walking in a hoodie with candy and a tea and gunned down in a gated community. No record, no weapon… He was simply black in a neighborhood where his father shouldn’t have been able to afford to live. There was a scream, there was a gunshot, there was silence.

His killer is still at large.

A mother watches her husband and daughter die because they were Hispanic.

A wife buries her fiancé instead of making love to him on their honeymoon.

Two families stand in hospital rooms hoping their sons make it because they were beat with baseball bats and dragged simply because they looked ‘gay.’

A mother and father give interview after interview about their son being murdered in cold blood instead of getting ready for his high school graduation or senior prom. They march and pray that justice comes instead of praying that he makes it home safely from the store.

There’s no color when it comes to discrimination! There’s no sex when it comes to hate! These cowards, these losers hide behind guns and fear and take lives of innocent people! Of children! Black, brown, gay, Jewish! We’re all human and we all deserve to live and be happy and safe! It could have been me, it could have been my little cousin or my brother or my nephews!

It could have been your son or your brother or your co-worker! Shot with candy and fucking tea! Murdered because you’re Mexican and living in America! There are a million cases of Trayvon Martin’s in America in a million different shapes, sizes and colors!

There are evil bitch ass white men in this world and even worst black men! Don’t make this about race, make this about justice and life! We have to stick together and we have to have a voice! If I died tonight all I want to know is that I was loved and that my death meant something to someone!

This kid’s death means something to everyone! So let’s give him the future in death that that coward took from him in life! If you see discrimination or hate or participate in it, STOP! Because the next time it could be someone you love! The more people that speak up the more people will second guess pulling up to a black man or woman or person in a hoodie and pulling a trigger!

RIP Trayvon Martin

RIP Emmet Till

RIP Sean Bell

RIP Matthew Shepard

RIP Countless Others…

Women, Double Standards and Fireworks…

black woman crying I’m the first man to admit that being nice and being weak aren’t the same thing. When women are younger I can see how they confuse the two but there’s not really an excuse for it as they get older. This is a known and something I’ve written about several times so I won’t go there tonight. Tonight I want to write about something else.

Double Standards.

You want to know something I will never understand despite my intelligence and slight arrogance. How can women deal with men that cheat, lie, are emotionally or in some cases physically abusive? How can women accept disrespect and disinterest for years in some cases from men that are just bad guys? How can they accept this and forgive them time after time but yet some men can’t so much as make a slight mistake and he’s dismissed? It’s like the higher you set the standard, the less room you have to screw up. Does that make much sense?

This last couple years I’ve personally dealt with so many women that get so dismissive or upset over the smallest things I do. Just so we’re clear, some have been romantic situations but most are strictly plutonic. Women that have gotten married and kept ex-boyfriends has friends but erased me. Women that I helped stand up after rock bottom but because I didn’t call for a week or said no they lost their mind. Long nights talking about men that stole money, slept with their friends, didn’t take care of children, broke promises… Men they forgave easily but I didn’t deserve that same forgiveness? You have to understand, I can deal with a woman not being interested, that happens to the best of us. It’s the other side of the coin that sort of takes a little bit out of me each time it happens.

With each time I feel myself becoming just a tad bit colder. I feel myself becoming a tad bit more annoyed. I’m a good listener, a good friend, not because I want to in most cases but because I know how it feels to feel like there’s no one to talk to, I know how it feels to simply want to vent.

The way I’m starting to feel I’m just not sure anymore. I could have really used a friend today and instead I have my writing and my music, it’s a cold world right?