My Bestfriend Took Me On A Date Yesterday and I Might Leave My Girlfriend For Her

fullsizerender2 Relationships are like jobs in the sense that no matter how great they might be there are days where you’re just tired or moments where you know you have a good thing but you need reminding.
Yesterday I was sitting on the couch getting ready to engulf myself in NBA Basketball and a Game of Thrones Marathon when my bestfriend showed up and told me to take a shower and get dressed. I asked where we were going and they told me they didn’t know but that we were going to have a good time.

I threw on some jeans, a shirt and a blazer and waited for them to get ready. A part of me felt guilty for how I felt when she walked out the room. Is it normal to be attracted to your bestfriend? I wanted to hug her, to touch her cheek, feel her neck but I have a girlfriend so instead I just told her she looked nice and we left.

The first stop was happy hour in Katy and we were overdressed for the restaurant but I couldn’t stop staring at the way the dress was hugging her shape and once again I had to remind myself that I was a taken man. Sitting at the bar talking to a bartender about basketball and high school and whispering and giggling whenever she walked away, I was having a good time. A better time than I’d been having with my girlfriend recently and that surprised me. We’d always had this great chemistry and over time I hadn’t been smiling as much.

Now, I couldn’t stop smiling and if I wasn’t guilty for looking at her thighs on that barstool I was for sure guilty for comparing the two women.

She kept complimenting me and trying to take pictures of me and as much as men aren’t supposed to worry about such things, I found myself liking the attention. A beautiful woman that craved my presence, it felt good. My girlfriend is always telling me how special I am but when my bestfriend said it, there was a difference. I didn’t feel as though she was saying it because she felt obligated but because she wanted to be around me. Needed to be around me.

Stop two took us to Cyclone Anaya’s and by this time I’d say we were tipsy. The nachos were horrible, the bartender never cut the basketball games on and they mixed up our drinks. Even with all that we just talked. Talked about old friends, talked about life. Talked about things I wouldn’t talk to anyone else about and by this time any guilt I felt was gone. Being with the most beautiful woman in the room has a way of easing your guilt.

I admitted something to her that I’d never admitted to anyone. I admitted that something she told me about my upcoming novel made me change it. Her advice literally made me sit at my computer and re-think a chapter or two, something I’d never done before. Something my girlfriend never inspired me to do but this woman, this amazingly interesting and beautiful minded woman, did just that. Finding myself holding her hand as we walked and rubbing the small of her back I looked around for a second to make sure I didn’t see anyone that may have knew my woman but by then I didn’t care.

Is it possible to fall in love after one date with someone you’ve known for years? Is it possible to love two women at the same time? These are questions I was asking myself as I held her and allowed my lips to find her neck in the elevator. Just a pec, just a kiss to let her know maybe we should be, could be, more than friends.

Our last stop found us at Hotel Sorella drinking martini’s and on our phones more than we were talking to each other. I didn’t mind because being in her presence was enough. It was one of those moments where she wanted to take pictures together and for a second I wanted to stop it. I wanted to tell her, “This has been an amazing day but I have a woman at home that’s dope, that loves me.” I didn’t say any of those things though. I just took the pictures and allowed our bodies to mesh as the sun started to set over City Centre.

Ending the night right back where we started at my home I watched her stumble into the couch and just lay there. Taking off her shoes she alternated between checking her phone and looking at me.

I alternated between thoughts of kissing her and thoughts of not wanting to ruin our friendship and my relationship. I started making some snacks and she got up and told me it was time to go. Holding her hand I wanted to ask her to stay but doing that would probably make me lose my bestfriend and my girlfriend. I kissed her like friends shouldn’t kiss and stood at the door as she walked away.

As soon as I turned around my girlfriend showed up and I smiled because I could tell she’d had a good day too. That took away some of my guilt. Eating a bar food type dinner while watching Love and Hip Hop I enjoyed the company of the woman that had become the best of both worlds.

4 Reasons Why Kissing Is Still the Pinnacle of Intimacy

Dope Instagram Pic 1. Soft lips still have to be the best cure for a long day. Trends change, styles change, but kissing a woman after a great first date or before you leave for work. That will never change.

2. We all remember our first kiss. Not the one when you’re at the 8th grade prom but that first real kiss when you feel something. Call it sparks, call it love, call it desire. That kiss that makes you want to hold her hand, that kiss that makes you forget time and space and you look up and it’s been two hours. No matter how old we get, those moments still exist.

3. Kissing is erotic but it’s also incredibly innocent. One of my favorite sermons is when my pastor said, “Don’t put yourself in situations where you can’t control your body and your desires. You can say you want to wait until marriage or don’t want to move fast but kissing on a couch in the dark at midnight isn’t going to help you reach that goal.” Kissing is what we make it. It can be a stolen kiss in the elevator leaving a movie or in a parking garage or it can be the introduction to something more.

4. There comes a time in a man’s life where he has to make a decision. Is this the woman I want to kiss for the rest of my life. Not just when there’s candles burning and R. Kelly playing but when she’s just gave birth to your child and it’s a kiss on the forehead. When she’s just finished jogging and is incredibly sweaty and it’s a peck on the lips letting her know you’re proud of her. A kiss on the back of her neck while you’re watching your son or daughter sleep. These are the kisses that define us. The kisses that we relate to moments we live for.

The Good Ones Go If You Wait Too Long

Stop Waiting

Stop Waiting

1. Stop being prideful, you know what pride gets you? A bottle of gin and an empty house. If you miss her, tell her. Don’t text, don’t be passive aggressive on social media. Just call her or go see her and tell her.

2. Please don’t let social media and all these articles blow your head up. I don’t care how many single people there are in this world, if someone is sexy and smart and sweet. They’ll have suitors. No matter how much she’s into you, no matter how much of your shit she takes. There will come a day when her interest dies and there won’t be any turning back.

3. Don’t be the guy that’s afraid to get rejected. You wait and wait and wait not knowing if she’ll like “A guy like me.” Send that message, be honest, be likable. Don’t hide in the shadows hoping and wishing and when you finally get the courage she’s taken. You know how that’s going to feel when she responds, “I would have said yes two weeks ago but I’ve met someone.” Maybe she’s just being nice but maybe she’s telling the truth and your future wife will be drinking hot chocolate in her panties and tank top with someone else.

4. We all like to feel important. It doesn’t make you lame or thirsty for calling the same day you got her number. You aren’t pressed if you see her on Friday night and when you call and tell her you made it home; you ask her out on Saturday. If she’s important to you, if spending time with her feels better than spending time with anyone else in your life. Don’t act like it doesn’t. Letting her know you want to see more of her isn’t creepy, it’s being a man.

5. I once read an article about the art of going in for a goodnight kiss. You should look into her eyes and wait for the right moment and not be too aggressive. That’s loser talk! Look, when you go in for a kiss there can’t be any hesitation. If she doesn’t want that, you’ll know before you’re five feet within her space. Women will deal with assholes, broke guys, pretty boys but what they won’t deal with; is scary men. Don’t be the guy that turns her on with your conversation, cologne, mannerisms and then falls into the “Just a Friend Zone” because you never took the chance to take it to a more intimate level.

You Deserved to be Kissed Right Here, Here and Most Importantly Right There

20131229-202752.jpgI always cringe when I hear people say, “I don’t like kissing.” A part of me just wants to shake them and say, “Do you know what you’re missing?!” Or “You probably just haven’t found someone to do it right yet!”

There is nothing and I mean nothing more intimate and perfect than a kiss that’s at just the right time and in just the right place. I can’t draw worth a lick but I imagine it’s like an artist that is in a groove. When lips connect and the intensity starts to pick up, that moment when she takes a breath and you move to her neck, right below her ear. I get why people love sex, I’m a man. To me sex is a point of no return. Kissing is different because even though it’s so intimate there’s still something innocent about it.

It can be a soft kiss while waiting for a movie to start. It can be one of those, “I can’t wait to take your clothes off kisses,” up against a door when you know you need to leave. Don’t forget about the she’s lying on her stomach, sleeping, napping, reading a book or playing her phone and you start to kiss the back of her thighs or her ass. Those are the kisses when both of you know whatever plans you had are going to be postponed. What’s that jewelry store commercial, “Every kiss begins with Kay.” Well, most great memories begin with a kiss.

Confidence has always come natural to me but I’m not that guy that can’t take direction. I can never know a grown woman’s body better than she knows it. Where she wants to get kissed, what feels good, how much pressure to apply.

I could sit in a couch, the TV on mute. No music, no gimmicks and just kiss and touch and flirt for hours. The time goes by so fast when she’s straddling you and her hearts beating and both of you are on the edge of so much pleasure.

Kissing is what I miss most about not having a woman in my life. Knowing I can kiss her at 4am with morning breath. Knowing I can kiss her after a bad day.

A forehead.
A belly button.
A nipple.
The nape of a neck.
The small of a back.
Lips.

Kissing is Everything.

Sex Isn’t Underrated… Sex With the Wrong Person Is Overrated

betterI’ve never gotten to know my father. I have 13 or 14 brothers and sisters out there I’ll never really know even if I started to track them down today. I imagine each and every one of them came from lust, including myself. They came from moments of pleasure that have left them feeling alone, abandoned, sad at times. I never want to be that man that does that to a child.

Having sex with the wrong person can change your life and not for the better.

Is it hard?

Literally and figuratively but for my sanity and for me to grow up as a man it’s what I need to do. There are mornings like today that I can’t even sleep because the company of a woman is all I can think about. Those moments pass though and I know the temporary pleasure isn’t worth the feeling of guilt and shame the moments after will bring.

I’ve been writing a lot lately about moral responsibility, about accepting that our bodies and emotions and passions just aren’t meant for everyone. This isn’t easy for me, I’m a man that loves women a lot, but what I also know is that loving them is no good if there’s no meaning behind it.

You can’t duplicate great chemistry. You can’t replace the feeling of a naked body moist and sweaty under you. That feeling is one that makes us do dumb things, it makes us meet places we shouldn’t meet, crave people we shouldn’t crave. It’s not real though, it’s our bodies speaking a language our hearts will never understand or agree with. Sex is meant to be guiltless so when you feel that guilt just know it can’t be real.

I tried to think about all the women I’ve slept with over the years and the truth is I took a piece of them they can never get back. They gave themselves to me and I to them and we deserved more than that. Sex has to be about more than wet spots and wet lips.

She Could Do It Alone but I’d Never Allow Her To

Dope Instagram PicSitting at this computer, taking a break from work and a thought crossed my mind. I’m listening to a couple of mixtapes and all most of them are talking about is the negatives of relationships. As a man all any of us can hope for is that we can give the woman in our life the option of whether she wants to work or not.

Do we live in a world where two incomes are almost necessary? Of course we do but that doesn’t mean as a man you can’t supplement what she brings to the table.

I’m doing well enough in life at the moment but I’m not doing well enough to take care of another adult. But what I can do is pay a light bill here, a phone bill there, get a car washed or the oil changed. I’m a logical man, I realize my limitations so for me it’s easy to sit someone down and say, “This is what I can do and this is why I’m doing it; I love the fact you’re capable of doing this own your own but what sort of man would I be if I let you do it on your own? You don’t have to do it by yourself babe. We were blessed with each other to look out for each other.”

Look, let’s be honest, most women are more than willing to follow if they encounter a man that’s worth following. Words get you in the door but actions are what changes lives and perceptions. It’s easy to impress a woman that’s never had anything, you can give her a tank of gas and that’s more than the last three guys she dated did combined. But if you want to make the earth move, be a man of your word and set expectations that you know you can meet.

Whoever said it’s not tricking if you have it… Is a trick. It’s still tricking if you have it, it’s not tricking if you have her. Then it becomes spoiling and spoiling is perfectly healthy. You know why we don’t spoil children? Because we deprive them of learning basic etiquette and human decency. But it’s okay to spoil a grown woman because she’s already who she is. Going to fill up her car on a Sunday night before the work week starts. Buying her a couple of Subway and Starbucks gift cards so she doesn’t have to swipe that debit card. These are things that will give her pause when men try to get at her and believe me… If she’s fine, men will come. And any guy that thinks he has his woman on lock is a fool. You never stop spoiling or setting high standards because there will always be someone wanting what you have.

For me… I take pride in being the man I am. Can it scare some women to know that my expectations are really high and I love really hard, sure. But if that scares them, they were probably never for me anyway. And that’s how I’ve always approached life because you can say I’m a jerk at times, you can say I’m mean or arrogant. But what no woman will ever say about me is that I’m selfish or a user. Anything she can do for herself, I can do for her. And I’m more than happy to do for her.

I’d never want a woman in my life that needed me for financial reasons because even when or if she fell out of love with me she’s not going to go anywhere. I want her to be able to do it for herself and when I come alone we build on what we have together. Double those payments and pay off her student loans, double the payments and pay off a bill of mines. Working together to make each other better because she could do it on her own but why in the hell would I let her pretty ass do that? This is the picture I see in my mind when I think about my future “her.”

My Girl Has A Girlfriend…

“We’re not doing this in our bed. Don’t think too hard, don’t call me. Just meet me at the Magnolia Hotel, the front desk will tell you what suite.”

The note was pinned to the refrigerator. Written in red lipstick on pink paper. I read it three more times to get some clarity but the more I read it the more my mind was going crazy.

“We’re not doing this in our bed?” Was it syrup or whipped cream? Was it going to get that messy?

A quick shower, traded in my steel toe boots and polo shirt for a light sweater and slacks. Don’t call, don’t text is what she wrote. She wanted me to lose my mind thinking, she wanted me to be surprised.

Valeting my truck, ignoring the increasing thunderstorm falling down I walked in the lobby. Told the man behind the counter my name and he smiled and told me the suite was on the 5th floor. It was the only one on that floor so I couldn’t miss it.

For whatever reason his smile had me wondering what he’d seen that had him giggling.

Knocking on the door, smoothing out the cashmere, I stepped back from the door when a woman that wasn’t my wife opened the door.

“I’m sorry. I must have the wrong room.”

She laughed and reached for my hand, “You don’t remember me do you? We met at Whitney’s graduation party and we’re FB friends. You have the right room.” I let her take my hand.

“We’re not doing this in our bed.” The words made sense now. The woman in front of me who’s name I still couldn’t remember was gorgeous. A short hair cut, toned body, full breasts. She wasn’t naked but I could tell she wasn’t wearing much under the short silk robe. And from the two bottles of empty wine on the table I could tell she was tipsy.

“Where’s Whit?”

“She’s went downstairs for a massage. She wanted us to talk first, she wanted to make sure you like me. Said you may not feel comfortable?”

“I am a little surprised but I’m not uncomfortable. Did you and my wife do things like this before we were married?”

She sat on the bed and sat Indian style, she definitely wasn’t wearing anything under the robe.

“Your wife has always been the life of the party and the leader in the room. Me and Whit have had some adventures. After school I put up my laptop, cell and traveled the world. Half my family thought I was dead, I got back and found out Whit was yours and not mines anymore. I’m your wife’s ex- girlfriend and she brought me here today to give her husband an early Christmas gift.”

She stood up from the bed and let the robe fall to the floor. Like it was all planned or just perfect timing my wife walked thru the door and kissed me on the lips. Stepping out of her tank and sweats she pulled the woman close and kissed her like I’d only ever seen her kiss me. Turning her around, standing behind her I watched as she traced her body and and sucked her neck. She was in complete control. Don’t just stand there husband, she’s your too tonight.

To Be Continued…