Don’t Make Me Pay For His Mistakes

black woman crying There is nothing the matter with wanting love, there’s nothing the matter with looking forward to cooking dinner for someone or going to wine fest and iFest and Jazzfest drinking wine and holding hands. I’ve written this before and I’ll write it again, men and women are created for each other. Our bodies fit like puzzle pieces, our hormones match and make perfect DNA resemblances of us. That’s worth fighting for.

Just because he screwed up doesn’t mean I will. Just because he lied about where he was when you called or cancelled one too many date nights doesn’t mean that’s in me. I don’t have to add your friends on Facebook because they’re cute, I don’t need your cousins phone number because you’re cool with her. This may not be the modest thing to say but, “I’m a better man than him so don’t compare us, don’t hold me accountable for his mistakes.” Making me pay for his faults will only push me away, it will only hurt both of us. Me, because I have to live with not making you happy and you… because you deserve to be happy. Life moves on, move on from what he did and take my hand into a new world.

All men aren’t created equal, maybe he was hurt by another woman, maybe he has mother issues but that’s not your fault. You can’t teach a man how to be a man. You can’t let him go from his mother’s house to your house and expect that he’s going to grow up. Dealing with that selfishness, dealing with that insecurity, that’s going to make it hell for the next man but if he loves you he’ll deal with that hell to get to heaven. It’s not just on him though, you have to do your part and open up your heart and get past that hurt.

It stormed and flooded on Saturday, in less than four hours people were stranded in parking lots and stuck in water. Plans were cancelled and power was out. Less than 12 hours later the sun was shining, not a cloud in the sky, and it was just a picture perfect day. You know what that tells me, it tells me life goes on and no matter how nasty the storm and how long it lasts, there will always be a sunny day coming.

Don’t spend so much energy focusing on your storm that you have no energy left to enjoy the sunny day.