5:01am In Paris; Met Langston Hughes 

It’s 5:01am here in the City of Love and so far I’m not sure how Paris, France got that name. It would be like calling the United States the City of Tolerance. Thursday was filled with flight cancellations, sick guys on planes and an upset stomach. 

Friday wasn’t turning out much better. We arrived at around 9:00am and since then we’ve walked a dozen miles and had to change hotels. I was this close to hoping on a plane and taking my privileged American ass home but then Paris reminded me it was Paris. 

Wine in a cafe at midnight while I bored my date with details of Langston Hughes and the Paris Transfer written by Arnold Ramperstad. Walking back to the hotel and getting lost, turning a corner and seeing the Eiffel Tower for the first time. Ordering steak tar tar and not realizing it was raw meat, being too prideful to admit my mistake but the waisteess realizing no one orders raw meat. This has been my first day in Paris. 

I miss Whataburger, regular sized restrooms and AC but for someone as serious as I am. Sometimes it’s okay to not have a plan. 

I wonder what day two holds in store. 

How Do You Make A Relationship Work? Go In the Other Room and Put Your Phone Down

fullsizerender1Whenever I write about relationships I tell people I’m no expert. I’m not the man that’s going to give you five steps on how to be this perfect man or how to find your perfect woman. I’m simply a guy that’s sharing my experiences and learning as I go. One thing I’ve learned more than anything this past year is that arguments will happen and it isn’t the arguments that hurt your relationship, it’s what happens after.

My girlfriend and I both have social media profiles, followings. What we say matters, not on a Kim and Kanye level but on a level that will have people interested or at the very least paying attention. What neither of us can do is let our emotion or passion or anger spread to the world of social media.

Early in our relationship she’d get mad at me and get all Meek Mill with the Twitter fingers and I had to sit her down and let her know that’s not okay. And when I was upset or frustrated it wasn’t okay for me to run to my blog and write about it. You know what is okay? Working out, going to take a nap, calling your sister or friend to vent.

There’s nothing impressive about holding grudges and resentment with someone you want to hold and kiss and laugh with. It doesn’t make you gangster depriving yourself of kisses and tacos because the person you’d cross an ocean for pissed you off. Let that hurt go, put that phone down, cool down and Netflix and Chill.

If you’re halfway attractive or interesting people will co-sign anything you say. So you’re mad and put out there, “I don’t understand why my man can’t accept that some days I don’t feel like cooking.” You get random guys commenting, “I’d cook for you every night.” “Your man is selfish.” These guys aren’t doing anything but being cheerleaders in hopes that they’re first in line if your relationship doesn’t work. Women are even worse because they’re 10 times more passive aggressive with their flirting, “I work all week and I can’t even get a night to myself, my girl is tripping.” What I didn’t mention is that maybe there were issues in the past where I didn’t earn her trust. Maybe the men I’m hanging out with don’t respect my relationship and she’s worried they’ll put me in a compromising position. Stay offline and take a nap. Wake up and talk to your him or her, you’d be surprised at how something you thought was minor hurt them more than you knew.

 

 

4 Reasons Relationships Should Be Boring

Desserts from Perry's

Desserts from Perry’s

I’m boring.

Like I’m the guy that would rather have dinner at home or at a nice restaurant than go to that sky diving place or drive to Galveston in the middle of the night and jump in the water.

I’m simple.

It’s easy to hit home runs in a relationship. Buying plane tickets and hotel rooms for a vacation, coming home and surprising her with a new pair of shoes or flowers. It doesn’t take all that much energy or effort to be the man that hits home runs. What’s not as easy to do is to be consistent and nice and boring.

Relationships don’t thrive because of excitement or energy, it isn’t the ups and great moments that keep you wanting to come home right after work. It’s the good and boring moments that build that that friendship.

I- Modern Family- Quality time makes all the difference in the world when it comes to relationships and dating. It’s easy to spend time with someone but making the time matter is what builds a foundation and makes it interesting. One of our favorite things to do is sit down and watch Modern Family on DVR. A bottle of wine, some popcorn and laughing really, really hard. It’s not a date night on the water or putting stamps in a passport but it’s time spent that will put a smile on your face the next day.

II- Dancing- If there’s one thing in this world I know for a fact it’s that God did not put me on this earth to dance. On a scale between Chris Brown and George H. W. Bush I’m pretty sure I’m closer to President Bush in the dance department. Like I have no idea how I didn’t even accidentally bump into some rhythm. Saying all that I still love to dance. In all my silly and un-choreographed glory. So whether it’s a car ride or cooking dinner or just sweeping the porch we’re always dancing and she’s always laughing. Mainly because I can’t dance but also because who in the hell doesn’t like laughing with the person they’re spending quality hours with.

III- Career Building- Every couple or courtship isn’t going to align along career lines. I get that but on the rare occasions when it does take advantage of it. Sitting in an office brain storming, sending emails back and forth, arguing about points and counterpoints isn’t a picture perfect moment. They are moments that will lead to promotions, raises, funding, business plans, sponsorship’s and so much more. Writing scripts and episode treatments in sweats at midnight isn’t a bowling at Dave and Busters with your friends but it is worth it. Boring moments lead to great moments.

IV- Sleeping Together- When I was child my grandparents did not believe on working on Sundays. They wouldn’t cut the yard, work on a car, they wouldn’t even go to the grocery store. It was church, Sunday dinner, football for my grandpa, cleaning up the aftermath of the Sunday dinner for my grandma and then they’d take a nap. It was clockwork every Sunday. It wasn’t until I got older that I realized just how cool naps were. Thirty minutes on the couch before I have to be somewhere. Twenty minutes in my office with the door locked. None of those naps compare though to taking a nap with someone you want to be around. No cuddling, no clothes on the floor. Just a “I have to be in the office at 10, I have a meeting at 11. Let’s take a nap.” So at 8:15am you both get in the bed or on opposite ends of the couch and sleep for an hour or two. No phones, no passion, just good and boring sleep to give you energy for what the day brings.

Don’t ever get so caught up in what you see online or what you think dating or relationships are supposed to be like that you miss out on a blessing. Every moment isn’t going to be Instagram worthy. Some of the best meals are grilled cheese that look horrible on foil because you don’t feel like washing dishes. Some of the moments where she’s her most beautiful will be when she looks a mess because she’s been up working all night and you’re just proud of her drive. Boring is changing a headlight or tightening battery cables. Things that matter.

5 Things To Do When You Can’t Sleep 

  1. Throw pillows at your dog when she’s sleeping like she has to go to work in the morning. 

2. Watch the Wire on OnDemand. Episodes of The Wire never get old.

3. Write love letters to your lil boo. Tell her stuff like, “I want to kiss your forehead and rub your butt with your pretty ass.” 

4. Eat. Eggs, old Chipolte, grilled cheese sandwiches. 

5. Listen to Drake body Meek Mill on diss tracks and write diss tracks about your boss or the girl that dumped you in the 3rd grade.