Know the Difference Between Someone That Needs You; And Someone That Needs How You Make Them Feel

needYou ever felt unappreciated? Felt like you weren’t valued? I’m assuming we’ve all felt that way at one point in our lives. You’re doing everything you can for whatever situation you’re in and sometimes all you need is a, “I’m proud of you,” or an “I see the work you’re putting in.” When it never comes it can be demoralizing. You start to stop working as hard as you were because you feel like no one is noticing. And then it happens, someone comes along and compliments you. Tell you you’re doing a great job. They tell you everything you’ve been wanting and needing to hear and it warms you.

You go from feeling alone and lonely to feeling like someone sees you. You start to crave that feeling, you start to need that feeling. It isn’t coming from the person or company or whatever you wanted it to come from but for now it’s better than nothing. For now it feels like it’s coming from Heaven. It’s like getting water when you thought you were about to drown. It’s like sitting by a warm fire when before there was nothing but snow.

When someone needs you, loves you, there is no comparison. There is no Walmart or Kroger’s brand that can take your place. There’s no, “Do you know how many men or women want me?” “Do you know how many men or women text me?” Because they don’t see anyone else, no one else will do. But when someone simply needs how you make them feel, there’s always an alternative. Always someone they can call if only for one ride home from work. There’s always a text they can send and then delete like it never happened. They aren’t going on dates or lying but that feeling they need to feel; it doesn’t have to be you. That’s how you know.

I hate when people call me a good man. This isn’t the point in the article where I need people to comment, “but you are a good man.” That’s not why I wrote that. I hate when people say it because how can I be a good man with some of the things I’ve done? Some of the ways I’ve treated people? Some of the lies I’ve told? Does a year? Two years? Six months of redemption wash away the sins of my past? I’m not sure I’ll ever truly be a good man but I am sure I won’t stop trying. And I won’t let anyone make me feel as though it’s ever too late.

Don’t let people use you for your goodness because once they have what they want. They would have gotten what they needed and you’re back at square one.

~ Demez

You’re Beautiful: I Just Feel Like You Should Know

IMG_0189.JPG Every now and again I feel like you need to be reminded of just how perfect you are. I understand perfect isn’t attainable so please don’t take my words literally. When I say perfect I mean, you’re as perfect as any woman can be. Perfectly flawed in the most beautiful way. I get I look at you in way that’s unrealistic, I have these expectations and place you on a pedestal when we both know that’s not fair but I can’t help it. No one told you to be this freaking awesome!

I’ve read great poets and philosophers that have said every man gets three great loves in his life. Some get them early and never experience love again, some have them spread out over time and some may never meet the loves of their lives at all. I believe with all my heart I’ve had at least one great love. There’s a part of me that believes you can be number 2 if I ever got that chance.

You’re beautiful because you’re selfless. You’re beautiful because your spirit and heart are so full of life and joy. There isn’t one person that can genuinely not like you. You’re beautiful because I say you are and I’m willing to fight any man that says otherwise.

You’re beautiful because God made you that way inside and out and for that the world is a better place.

Beautiful Nightmares

20140717-223245.jpg There are nights when I’ve had too much to drink that I see you standing in front of me. The bottle on the floor, the glass in my hand. Reaching out to touch you only to realize you aren’t there.

Am I going crazy because I see you?Wiggling out of your jeans, your blouse coming over your head. You always smile and ask me not to look at you like that.

I miss the warmth and softness of your body. The tears that fell when I brought you to orgasms. There are nights when I can’t fall asleep because I know I get to be with you. Nights where your naked body haunts me in the most vivid and desirable ways possible.

Touching yourself was something you took pride in. I miss the intensity in your eyes. The rhythm you moved to. Taking your fingers in my mouth after you’ve touched what I love to taste. Watching you taste yourself.

A beautiful nightmare before my eyes. Reaching out to touch you. Falling to my knees aching to touch you. My tears are real, the beating of my heart is real. But you aren’t. You’re just a beautiful nightmare.

You’re So Much Better Than You Know…

9447548-fashion-sexy-women-clothes-detailI write from the perspective of a single guy. If I had all the answers to relationships or marriage I’d be in a relationship or married. Pretending like I know it all isn’t something I’m comfortable doing. I often get asked why I’m single and most of the time I give an answer that sounds thoughtful or insightful but the truth is my expectations are crazy high. Like “does she even exist high?” But you know what, I wouldn’t lower them regardless because settling isn’t something that’s in me and it shouldn’t be in you. If you know what you want become a better you and get it!

All Star Weekend is in a couple of days and I read all these articles, blogs and social network post about women selling themselves or men spending their money. And what I think is this… If I had the wealth I’d be the guy flying women into Houston, buying out restaurants and putting my spoiled, arrogant woman in a hundred thousand dollar car. I’m willing to admit what most men won’t, it’s not the women wanting ballers that bother them. It’s not the men that are spending THEIR money that’s bothering them. It’s envy, jealously. Why else would you be worried about other people’s finance’s?

People don’t buy luxury cars because they want to get from point A to point B, you can buy a Honda Accord for that. Men don’t buy 300k townhomes or homes in gated communities for security; you can get a house in the suburbs for that. Men buy these cars with the leather and wood and heated seats for status. They work 21 hours a day to get that 1.2 million dollar home for status. Women are no different… That woman with the coke bottle shape, perfect features, well spoken, 600 dollar hair, nail and grooming bill a month. She isn’t dating a broke guy, she isn’t dating a guy that feels like “my money is my money” and “her money is her money.” You know what women talk like that, the women that hate those women.

Let me give you some advice about women that you don’t have to pay 29.99 for. There are three ways you’re probably going to get a beautiful, top 10% sort of woman. (1) Is you’re just a really attractive guy, charming, cool, God blessed you when it came to genes. (2) You’re successful, ambitious; you make good money, want to be great in life. Women love security and drive. (3) Talent, it’s why broke musicians, writers and artist can have the baddest chick in the room. Women love talent. When is the last time you saw a mediocre man that was moderately attractive and made 30k a year with a star?

It’s no different with women, there are not that many level headed, cool guys running around. This is strictly Demez talking… I work 10 hours a day building highways, a spend another 8 writing, building my brand or flirting. Do you think I want to spend my time with a woman that’s not like the women I write about?

That guy that’s sitting at his computer or on his phone ranting about how much of a bopper or gold-digger she is; he’s looking at his out of shape, boring girlfriend or wife sad as hell that the woman he’s investing so much time complaining about will never so much as look his way. That woman that thinks the guy spending money on this beautiful woman is stupid is looking at her mediocre man crying inside that she will never know what it’s like to be spoiled and pampered. Successful people invest their time in being great, not in what others are doing.

Instead of resenting them living their life, be better than what you are. Live up to your potential and get that woman that loves matching bras and panties, that knows the difference between workout tights, casual tights and formal tights. The one that turns heads when she walks into a room and owns that shit.

Don’t be mad at the woman that has guys lined up to take her out, to show her that they’re worthy of her time. I guarantee you for as pretty as she is, she goes to the gym, she eats right, she knows the difference between flirting and being easy. Men love that: become a better woman and watch your stock rise.

Look, this isn’t me knocking people that have settled for whatever in life. This is me saying it’s never too late to be a better you! It’s never too late to get a second income, to work out, to love yourself more than you do.

There is never an excuse for a woman to take care of a healthy, able man. You’re better than that! I promise you if you set the standard and the expectations he will listen and if he doesn’t listen he’s not worth it.