One Last Time…

a untitled nye“What are you doing here?” I hadn’t heard from her in two days, no texts, she’s cut all social networking ties. I was spending New Years Eve alone, like most nights, writing and drinking with the rain as my backdrop.

It was obvious she was dressed for a party, five inch heels, short black dress, professional makeup. I just stood in the doorway trying not to pull her to me, trying not to ask her to forgive me for pushing her away.

“You said you didn’t want to take me into 2013. There’s still two hours left in this year, I’ll leave at 11:59 but for the rest of this year I need you to fuck me like you’ll never see me again. I need to feel you inside of me one last time, these past two days have been hell for me and I know they’ve been hell for you! You don’t want me anymore, don’t want to be the other man; I understand that, but tonight… Cum inside of me and lay with me before the clock strikes midnight.” The sincerity in her voice, her body in that dress, being torn between living what was right and never seeing her again. I stepped aside and let her inside, my tongue finding her mouth, my hands finding her pantyless. We’re all capable of sin, it’s just a matter of sin vs. pleasure and how much sin you can live with.

Pushing her up against the wall, the rain falling harder, her phone vibrating next to her keys. My heart pumping faster with anger and passion! Falling to my knees, finding heaven between her legs. Tasting her, sucking her, tickling her pussy like I wanted her to remember this when I became just a man that she used to know. Hearing her say my name, feeling her hands on my head, her body quiver. How could something that felt so fucking good be so fucking wrong?!

“Please don’t stop! Please don’t stop! I swear I love you! I can’t do life without you! Ohhh My Gooooooood baby!” Her words were pushing me to take her to a level of pleasure I hadn’t taken her to before. The more she moaned and screamed and gave me all of her, the more I questioned whether or not I was capable of doing what needed to be done.

Feeling her cum she pushed me on the floor and pulled up her dress. Sitting on my face and pulling my dick out she swallowed it with no hesitation! I licked her asshole and stuck my index finger inside, the harder I fingered her the harder she sucked. The harder she sucked the harder I fought the urge to scream the words that were on the tip of my tongue. I love you! Fuck what I said, I just want you in my life!

Feeling myself about to cum I pushed her up and pulled her to the couch! Sitting on it she looked me in my eyes and slowed the tempo, moved her hips and grinded her body against me like she wanted me to fall in love with her all over again. No more screaming, no more moaning, just her fingers in my mouth and our eyes saying what neither one of us wanted to say out loud. We’re bad for each other but can anyone else do what we’re doing to each other?

Glass Half Full… Happy New Year

Happy New Year! I can’t think of a better way to start the first day of the year then by writing. I hope everyone made it home safe, no DWI’s, no waking up to someone you don’t remember going to sleep next to.

Today I want to talk about this backlash on New Years Resolutions. I’ve been seeing a lot of people knock others for saying they’re going to change their lives or get rid of certain people. It’s almost become taboo to even say you’re going to change because so many are attacking you for it.

But I’m here to tell you to make all the resolutions you want! It’s your life and if you want to claim a fresh start, become a better person, be around better people. Do it! This is the thing not a lot of people admit…

Just because you have friends or a mate that’s bad for you doesn’t mean they aren’t good for you. So it’s not easy to just get rid of people.

“Why wait until January 1st to change, change now.” <— I despise that sort of talk because change isn’t easy, if it was a lot of us would be in much better situations. And the thing that bothers me most about it is it’s usually the people that are in bad situations that are judging the loudest.

I write a lot, I write a lot of statuses, notes, blogs… I write about relationships and friendships. But understand something, I do it because I’m good at articulating a point or knowing what words to use that are going to bring out emotions. My life is just as confusing and can get just as lonely as anyone else’s. So don’t ever let anyone tell you that they have it all together.

The glass is always half full even when it seems like it may be empty. If you want to pick today to change, do that and don’t listen to all these people that are saying otherwise.