Men Don’t Have Biological Clocks That Tick But That Sense of Urgency A Week From Your Mid 30’s May Beat Here and There

I’m turniI feel young 34 in about a week and a half and though I don’t believe men have a biological clock I very much believe that men get to a point in their lives where they start to want to move forward. I used to write about wanting a son often in my earlier blogs years ago. I let social media bully and manipulate me into stopping.

“You’re thirst trapping with the whole nice guy routine.”

“If you wanted a good woman you could have had one by now.”

The list goes on and on. So I stopped. I stopped writing about wanting a wife and a son and the house with the neighbors my age and good public schools. Just because I stopped writing about those things doesn’t mean I don’t still very much want them. It doesn’t mean that with each day that passes by I don’t come to realization that I won’t have four or five children. I literally sit at my desk at five am and think to myself, “Self, you’ll need to get married in the next year and you’ll need your wife to get pregnant every year so that she isn’t 40 plus popping out babies that have a 50% chance of having birth defects.”

Do I have a biological clock that pounds a little harder every time I see a picture of a cute baby or see someone that shouldn’t be having children having them with ease? I doubt it but I do have a sense of urgency creeping up on me just as fast as the number 34 is.

Men and women have been profiting for ages trying to tell people what husband or wife material means. Writing definitions and standards that will lead you to the promise land of the alter and a perfect life. The truth is it’s all a lie. What you want is what you want and if that’s shallow and materialistic then that’s what it is. And if it’s beautiful and passionate then that’s what it is. Someone can be the ideal image of perfection to 93% of the world and to you they aren’t. You have to let them go because no matter how hard you try and convince yourself otherwise; you can never make apple juice out of lemons.

I’m not good at being friends with women. At least I wasn’t in the past. Maybe I flirted too much, maybe I made them feel as though they were more than friends. It could just be that I wasn’t a good friend myself and didn’t realize it. Either way what I’ve realized is that I need my wife to be that friend. I need to like her, I need to want to share good news with her. I need who she is as a woman to make me smile. I need to trust her above all else. Things I didn’t think about when I turned 30 or even 32.

My writing has shifted over the years. I don’t really give my opinion anymore about relationships and dating. I simply write about what I’m feeling or going through. Maybe someone reading will relate and find their voice in my words.

The surreal thing about life is that no matter what you tell yourself, no matter what you tell other people, you know the truth. And as cliché as it sounds, the truth will always set you free.

Seeing Tomorrow Today

My peace

My peace

I was working in Crosby today and right as the rain started to fall I had to take a phone call so I pull over on his old Fm road called 1942 and as I’m taking the call I look up and see this beautiful home being built in the distance. Now because it’s raining and I have no crews working I cut off my truck, put on my rain coat and start to walk towards the property. Close enough to get a look but not close enough to walk onto the property. The first thing that crossed my mind (and this is probably the construction guy in me) is that they had to build the entire home from scratch.

Not plug into the existing plumbing or water or gas or lights but literally build everything from scratch. That’s how it is in places that aren’t annexed. The more I’m looking at the detail of this house the more I’m impressed. Three stories, a beautiful golden color, lots of land around the house, at least two acres. I thought to myself, “What do these people do for a living that they can build such a beautiful home in the middle of the country but just twenty minutes away from the third largest city in the country?

Standing there, soaking wet, day dreaming but completely aware I just watched the guys rush to put up equipment and find cover and I wondered what it would be like to come home from work and stand where I’m standing watching them build my home, my family’s home?

One of my favorite movies is the Notebook, mainly because I’m a romantic and I won’t try and take up for the overly dramatic acting but I love the story it told. The story that true love isn’t about romance or desire but it’s about building something and sacrifice. Are you willing to build that dream home in hopes that your love is strong enough to withstand any storm that comes forth?

As I stood there realizing my phone was about 43 rain drops from being destroyed and my truck was about to get stuck in the mud I thought all this beautiful home is missing is one of those decks that wraps all the way around. I want one of those decks and I want to build one of these homes from scratch.

I love writing because it gives me the ability to go anywhere in the world at any given time with anyone I choose. But I also love writing because it will give me the ability to go anywhere in the world, at any given time with anyone I choose…. And I’ll have my perfect home in the country to come back to.

Be careful in this rain.

~ Demez

Perfect Moments and Perfect Toes…

Every woman’s body is different. The texture of her skin, the places on her that are ticklish. The places on her that arouse her. For some it can be as simple as a kiss and for others a touch in the right spot. But there’s always one constant, every woman wants to be desired. They want to look at you and know that they turn you on.

She was sitting on the couch, the ceiling fans blowing and the windows open. Her iPad on the table, her IPod filling the apartment with Trey Songz. Her feet on the edge of the table, the pink nail polish stroking a toe at a time.

“You do know you should probably put on more clothes if you’re going to have all the windows open.”

“You do know I live on the 7th floor and if someone can see thru these windows they deserve a peep show.”

I took off my shoes, rolled up my sleeves and sat on the couch next to her. She smelled like raspberries and pineapples. I couldn’t tell if it was her lotion or shampoo.

“Let me do that for you.” She looked at me and laughed.

“Ummm I don’t know if I want my toes to fall off.” She loosened my tie and took it from over my neck, putting it on her own.

“It matches my tank and panties plus purple looks better on me than it does you.”

I sat the foot with the naked toes on my lap while she leaned back on the couch. Picking up the lotion off the floor I rubbed it into my hands warming it up. Starting with her toes I massaged each one, rubbing the bottom of her feet and the sides with the tips of my fingers. She closed her eyes and moaned with the music.

“You’re better than Kim Lee boy, I may have to put you on the payroll.”

Rubbing the lotion all the way in I picked up the nail polish and started with the big toe, working my way down to the small toe. Perfect strokes, two coats. I blew on them and she giggled. I loved hearing her giggle.

I left her foot on my lap, closed my eyes and leaned my head back. I could hear her snoring lightly, the music stopped, the fans turning. This was all I needed in life, this moment to make a bad day a perfect day.

Sensuality isn’t always the moments when I’m inside of her but they can be the moments when all I need is her.

I Want You To Be My Wife…

Dear ……,

 I don’t want a girlfriend.

I don’t want to creep when your man is tripping.

I don’t want to date for a year or two and wonder when the time will be right.

I want to take you in my arms, hug you tight and let you know that I’m not going anywhere. I want to kiss you when you’re having a bad day, I want to listen to you curse out your boss and co-worker and worrisome friend in the passenger seat so you can get it off your chest.

My entire life I’ve used my head, I’ve used my pride. I’ve never taken chances because in my world taking chances was a sign of weakness, weakness isn’t a trait that men are supposed to carry. And now I’ve realized it’s not a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of desire.

The desire to be more to you than just another man, the desire to let you know that you’re worth calling, texting, writing about, seeing, that you’re worth more than I can ever give in ten lifetimes. I don’t know where I got some of my thoughts and ideas from but I do know I’ve learned to do better because of you and I’ll keep doing better because of you.

If you only knew the effect you had on me, on my thoughts, my happiness, then I’m positive you’d charge me a fortune. I’m positive you’d wonder if I’d been smoking.

You’ll be my wife one day, I don’t have much doubt about that. But until that time comes I’m just going to enjoy the journey.

Love Always and Forever,


Demez F. White  


Sleeping Next to Perfection…

Scene One…

Caramel skin on black sheets, the fan turning slowly overhead, the white comforter sitting just below the crack of her ass. Her last day teaching was Thursday, she went hard during the Holiday weekend celebrating her freedom so while I was going back to the real world today she was probably going to sleep until ten, be on Facebook until noon and spend the rest of the day catching up on Scandal or True Blood on OnDemand.

When she knocked on the door at two am there was no overnight bag, no call before hand. Just her in tight jeans and a peach blouse, barefoot and red eyed. “Your house was closer,” was all she said before she kissed me on the cheek, went and took a shower and then climbed in the bed as naked as the day she was born. Her skin was moist, she liked to sleep under me, her thighs wrapped around my thighs. The heat in-between her thighs on my leg, she was always wet in some form or fashion. Some nights more erotic than others.

Last night wasn’t really erotic, it was just calming, having her in my bed was just calming. My house wasn’t closer than hers so knowing she wanted to be here, knowing she didn’t want to sleep alone just as much as I didn’t want to sleep alone was everything to me. If it wasn’t for her lying on my chest last night I would have spent it at my desk writing or on the couch for a couple hours. A bed wasn’t a bed when you were in it alone. Waking up to pillows and birds chirping could never compare to waking up to seeing her lips, the bridge of her nose, the way she fought for more cover only to push it off seconds later. When she was up and smiling she was perfect but when she was sleeping it was a different kind of perfect.

A perfect I could write about and watch all day. I took a picture with my mind. Etched every detail in my imagination for the 1000th time. Looking at my cell phone, knowing if I did what I was about to do I’d be late for work all I could do was smile because she was worth a crazy look from my boss.

Placing my lips on her lower back, my fingers tracing the outline of her ass she spread her legs as if it came natural. She wasn’t sleep anymore, I could hear the change in her breathing. Her stomach was still on the sheets but her back was arched just enough for my fingers to find what I was looking for. She was just wet enough for me know she was having the same dreams I had, the same morning desires I needed.

Turning her over, seeing the half closed eyes and slight smirk, she whispered… “Good morning and you better hurry or you’ll be late.” I always started with a kiss on the belly button, always started with my middle finger in her middle. Sort of like sticking a toe in bath water to make sure it wasn’t too hot or hot enough. The water was perfect so my mouth found the fountain and I had breakfast before work.

Leaving her shivering with the pillow between her legs and a glow on her face I kissed her, letting her suck her flavor off my tongue and walked out the door. Knowing this week would fly by as fast as a night of sleeping next to perfection.

5 Perfect Dating Tips

You would be crazy to take relationship advice from me. I haven’t had a girlfriend in years so I would even be crazier to give it. But what I can give is dating advice. Because dating is fun and relatively simple. Relationships require trust and hard work and opening yourself up. Dating is the introduction, the appetizer and drinks before the dinner and wine.

So here are five dating tips; mostly geared towards men but they can relate to women also.

5. Flirty Humor beats Serious and Sexual Flirty everyday of the week. Quick quiz… What’s the quickest way to make a woman you’ve recently met uncomfortable? Answer: Look at her like she’s prey and you’re a hungry dog. Women want sex just as much as men but they want us to earn it. Earn their attention, their texts and kisses. So be funny, have laughs at your own expense. The more she laughs and smiles the more her guard comes down. Humor provides a comfort level that’s serious!

4. Stay In Your Lane… If you know you’ve never been to a certain restaurant, don’t make your first time there be with her. If you don’t rock button downs and Sperry’s don’t rock them because you think she likes that. Take her to where your personality will shine. If you love sports, take her to an exciting sporting event and that knowledge on basket ball or boxing and just the atmosphere alone will get her excited because it’s different. Not every man can carry a conversation over dinner and drinks. Be you and be real.

3. Turn your phone off or silence it. Don’t have it on the table vibrating all loud or checking FB every 5 minutes. Let her know for these 2 or 3 hours she’s all you want. The worse look in the world is a woman coming home and seeing you were updating and commenting on stuff.

2. Be Aggressive but Concerned. Ask her what her favorite food is but you pick the restaurant. Ask her what music she likes but you pick the artists. Ask her what side of town she’s on and tailor the date so that it’s in her comfort zone. If she has two glasses of wine, you have two beers. If she suggests a shot, have a shot but don’t push it. Find a balance and roll with it.

1. Cultivate a friendship. If she’s attracted to you it will eventually come out. Don’t push the issue but don’t be too friendly. A hand on her back, a slight touch on her arm. Nothing invading her space but don’t be afraid to be in her space.

Those are my five dating tips for this week. Good luck putting them in action.