4 Reasons Your Phone Is Stopping You From Finding Your Soulmate

TextingandDatingThe hierarchy of things I need to leave to the house.

My keys.

My cell phone.

My cell phone charger.

I’m not going to be the writer that gets online and pretends my phone isn’t my lifeline to the outside world. It’s my calculator, my therapist, my calendar, my house phone, work phone, entertainment, news and phone. However, what I’ve realized is that sometimes I just have to step away from it.

We’ve conditioned ourselves to think, “What if it’s an emergency?” When the truth is the majority of our times spent on our phones are on social media. Social media is an amazing invention. Dictators have been overthrown because of social media. Laws have been passed because of pressure from social media. We have our first black President because of social media but social media also has a downside.

That downside is why you need to put that phone down and learn to enjoy life.

Unreasonable Expectations– Too much time on social media will start having you believe you deserve or want something when the truth is you aren’t actually working to get it. I see guys share pictures of models every day and they start to believe they’re going to find that woman. Ignoring beautiful women they know or work with in hopes of running into that Instagram model. When the truth is you’re 32 making 32 grand a year and you have a belly. You’re just a like to that chick on Instagram but you follow her on your phone like she’s your woman. Stop it and go on a date with a woman that might actually respond to you if you messaged her.

Social Media Induced Depression– I saw a True Life episode about married couples that couldn’t have babies. You know the number one thing all the couples had in common besides infertility? They all had to get off Facebook because the post about babies was making them severely depressed. Social media can do that to you even if you’re a strong person. You see people that have things you want and you start to say things like, “I was smarter than her in high school, why does she have a degree and I don’t.” “I’m more attractive than him, why is she with him and not me.” Don’t become jealous over people whose lives you don’t know intimately. Put the phone down and make your own memories.

Human Interaction– Talking to people is good for the soul. You can’t spend all day surrounding yourself around the same people and think that you’re growing. It’s okay to talk to a stranger while you’re waiting in line or at the doctor’s office. Your co-workers might actually have interesting lives if you give them a chance. This interaction will lead to random conversations with women that may turn out to be who you’re looking for.

Actual Memories vs. Perceived Ones– You know the weirdest thing to me? It’s when I’m at a concert or basketball game and someone is literally watching the entire event through their phone. Not dancing, not singing, not yelling at the refs but getting recordings just to put online. I’m not talking once or maybe even twice but the entire night. You’re on a beautiful beach on vacation and the sun is bright, the water clear, your girl is tipsy and looking good in her bikini and you’re looking at all of it through a phone? Some moments are meant to be shared with the world and some moments are meant to be shared with each other.

Start making memories with your heart and not your phone.

Can I Have You For Lunch?

“What are you wearing today?” He called her from the Hotel lobby. It was quiet in the middle of a Wednesday.

“You ask me that everyday? Why do you want to know? If you’re putting me in one of your stories I need to see a check.” She laughed knowing she was going to tell him, she just liked playing this game.

“Just tell me and stop being difficult.” He smiled to himself; he hadn’t heard her laugh in a couple of days.

“Leopard and black lace underwear, black bra, grey slacks, purple camisole, grey purple and white cardigan sweater and drum roll… Four inch purple suede pumps.” She looked at her pumps sitting on the floor next to her desk. They were made for modeling, not working. She touched up her lip gloss.

“Can you work in four inch pumps?” Her tone changed, she lowered her voice before she answered.

“I can put in more work than you can imagine in these pumps.” He adjusted the way he was sitting, he didn’t want people to see his erection.

“Take an extended lunch and meet me at Hotel Granduca in Uptown Park.” There was a silence, she wanted him as much as he wanted her but there was a silence.

“I have a lot of work to do.” He knew she wanted him to need her; to stop showing his representative, to stop being so cool and be real.

“I haven’t seen you in weeks. My attorney, my publishers, my grandparents. I’m dealing with a lot and the only time my mind has peace is when I’m inside of you. There’s no place in the world as calm as your body on top of mine. I need you, please.” He gave her what she needed, what he feared. Access to what no one else saw.

“Don’t game me author. Don’t use that million dollar imagination to get in my head and between my legs if you don’t mean this shit.” She needed to know this was real because she was falling whether he knew it or not.

“I’ll be waiting.” He smiled and checked into the hotel.

She hung up the phone and smiled at what was to come.