Trying To Get Back to Normal

20140803-095704.jpgThe attraction was still there, it was obvious. Every time she smiled he couldn’t help but smile, whenever she’d look away he’d look at her neck or chest and the memories would come flooding back to the nights they shared.

Those nights seemed like a lifetime ago now. Their friendship was one most people envied, he could talk to her about anything and she never judged him. She was so comfortable around him most of the men she dated she knew something had to be going on.

For seven years she slept in his bed, took trips with him, helped him by suits or gave him advice on women. For seven years they were best friends and not one time did they come close until crossing that line until they did. Her father was sick and wasn’t going to make it through the night, he’d just broken off an engagement. That night he looked at her differently, he saw what every man before him had seen.

That night their friendship became more and their bodies thanked them for it but their chemistry changed. She wasn’t sure how to act like a girlfriend around him. He wasn’t sure if she loved him or the idea of him. They fought more in a month then they’d fought in seven years. It didn’t take long for both of them to realize this wasn’t going to work. How could they go back though?

Could he just forget how she felt, forget that the potential of having his best friend as his woman almost came to life? Could she go back to being comfortable in his bed, on his couch, telling him secrets she’d never told anyone before? No matter how much she tried to ignore it, she saw the longing in his eyes, the way he looked at her.

He wanted what she couldn’t give him and that hurt her. Knowing she was breaking his heart. He would do whatever she wanted. If she wanted a lover, a boyfriend, a husband, he would go that route. If she wanted her friend back, he would do that to but it just couldn’t be the same.

Their conversations flowed, they always laughed, she’d tell him about bad dates. He’d tell her about bad sex he’d had. Nothing was off limits, now they both found themselves hiding things, trying to protect the other. A part of her wanted to believe that in time they could go back to where they were but in her heart she knew things would never be the same. She just owed it to both of them to try.

I See You

full moonI see you in a way they don’t.

I see past the physical spectacle that is your body, I see past the desire I have to touch you. I see what’s inside of you, I see the real you.

They see you in that dress or with that smile and imagine being inside of you, touching you, kissing you. I see you in that dress and imagine dancing with you, holding you, talking to you.

I see the sadness behind those eyes, those big, beautiful, intense eyes. I feel like I’m going to drown in those eyes, that’s how much of you I see.

I see you in way they don’t.

I see a future with us, I see the moment turning into so much more than just a hello. Then just a date, then just a fling. I see you in the most intimate ways possible.

Tell me you see me too. Tell me I’m not crazy. Tell me my eyes and soul aren’t betraying me.

I see you in the sun, smiling, spinning, breathing life into everything and everyone you come in contact with.
I see you and in seeing you I don’t want to see anyone else ever again.

~ Demez F. White