Love Is Addictive

Take a look at my lady, and my day began to shine.
Told her, “Baby being beautiful is a state of mind, and you are.”
So, had to let your mind and your heart know, as you grow, the more, the more I see God glow.
I know it’s probably strange, seeing your body change.
Can’t fit your clothes, nose ain’t the same.
But love still remains, it won’t vary with me.
Look at you and smile, thinkin’ Damn she carry a me!
A life we created, we can cherish forever.
You growin, but it’s sexy, the sex is even better.
But through thick and thin, pickles and peanut butter, is a divine mother, queen and supreme lover,
U still got it.
~ Common and Jamie Foxx “U Still Got It”
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I was listening to Pandora and this song came on that I hadn’t heard in awhile but for some reason I really listened to the lyrics today. Jamie Foxx can really sing but it’s more than just that. I heard Common’s verse and I just really listened to it. It’s about his wife being pregnant and how her body is changing and she’s a little self conscious but she’s still beautiful. Her nose spreads a bit and she’s gaining some weight but it’s okay because you’re caring a life we created together. I’ll never say that I wouldn’t date or marry a woman with children, that could be God’s plan for me. I do know though that I want to share that experience of having a child for the first time with someone. I want us to both be excited when we hear the heartbeat for the first time. I want to calm her when she can’t wear the pants she’s been fitting in for the past five years, I want to go out on the late night food runs if that makes her feel better.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m old enough to know there’s some nasty stuff that can come with a pregnancy. It’s not all like the movies and baby shower commercials but when you love someone, like really love them, does it matter that she’s throwing up or breaking out or moody?

Music has a way of speaking to you even when you can’t quite relate to what the song is saying.

Demez

Another Man’s Child…

a belly “Can I touch it?”

“It’s not going to bite you.”

Two years, maybe more than that since I’d seen her. There wasn’t the awkwardness I thought there would be but it was still weird seeing her sitting on my couch. I wanted to touch it, she said it was alright if I did but it just didn’t feel right. Considering it wasn’t mines anymore. She was still beautiful, still sexy, still everything I remembered, everything that motivated me. Getting in front of her on my knees I put my hands on it, rubbed it. She giggled, she smiled, I looked up at her and saw she was happy. As long as she was happy that’s all that mattered to me.

Her stomach wasn’t big enough for a baby bump but with her shirt unbuttoned and her sitting down it wasn’t hard to tell. I couldn’t take my hand away, I kept hoping he would kick or growl or whatever babies do. I just wished he was mine, for the moments my hands were on her skin I wished we were enjoying this together and she wasn’t just here to pick up a book and see how I was doing.

The bible said it was wrong to covet another man’s wife but it didn’t say anything about another man’s fiancé. She smelled like I remembered even though I didn’t know the perfume, her hair was the same, she looked a little more mature but it fit her. I met her when she was barely 21 now she was almost 24. I met a girl, the woman sitting on my couch was a woman. She was comfortable around me, secure around me. I couldn’t deny I still loved her but I also couldn’t deny she was in love with him. Kissing her stomach while she played in my hair I knew today was only about pleasure for her. Sliding my tongue past her bellybutton I knew I’d probably never see her again but if this was our goodbye I would make her remember it.

TO BE CONTINUED….