Stop Asking Us To Respect the Flag When You Can’t Respect Our Lives

Stop.

Just stop.

Stop asking me to respect the flag and respect the military and respect police when it seems no one seems to have much respect for us. Today I saw a guy that was blowing things up in New York and that shot at two police officers walk away with his life. In the same day I saw a guy who’s car simply broke down shot dead in the street like a wounded dog. Wait, we don’t shoot dogs. Shot dead like a black man.

I’m not a rapper, I’m not a thug, I’m not a politician. I don’t have anything noble to say and I don’t have anything ignorant to say. I’m just a man that is tired of feeling like I have to justify why my life matters? A cop shoots a man with his hands up and the narrative is, “Black guys kill black guys all the time; you aren’t whining about that.” I do talk about that and I also hold men and women that talk oaths to serve and protect us to higher standards.

I’m 33 years old. I have never been in a set of handcuffs in my life. I don’t disrespect police when I’m pulled over. I don’t believe that all cops are bad. I don’t hate America or those that protect her. But I do hate that I and those that look like me will never have the same protections as others.

Last week Sandra Bland’s family got paid 1.9 million dollars for her life. She’ll never laugh at Thanksgiving or take her children to orientation at college but 1.9 million should calm the natives. Today I watched a man with his vehicle stalled and his hands up get shot down, how much is his life going to be worth?IMG_0109

5 Things To Do When You Can’t Sleep 

  1. Throw pillows at your dog when she’s sleeping like she has to go to work in the morning. 

2. Watch the Wire on OnDemand. Episodes of The Wire never get old.

3. Write love letters to your lil boo. Tell her stuff like, “I want to kiss your forehead and rub your butt with your pretty ass.” 

4. Eat. Eggs, old Chipolte, grilled cheese sandwiches. 

5. Listen to Drake body Meek Mill on diss tracks and write diss tracks about your boss or the girl that dumped you in the 3rd grade. 

Stop Letting Idiots Tell You What Makes You A Man

gentleman Stop letting idiots tell you what makes you a man

These hoes ain’t loyal.

It ain’t nothing to cut that bitch off.

Bro’s over Hoes.

I can name a dozen hooks to songs and catch phrases that make it seem as though caring about or loving a woman makes you look silly or weak. The truth is life doesn’t work that way and it never has. We have a generation of not just boys but grown men that feel as though having gentleman like qualities makes them weak.

If I write something saying men should respect women I’ll get a guy saying, “What about women respecting men bro!” If I say men should open doors and get the check on dates I’ll have a guy say, “Women don’t want a good man, what is she brining to the table?!” If I try to explain to a guy the benefits of good conversation and building a friendship before you bring up sex he says, “Nah! You got to be aggressive, women like when you’re upfront.” Foolish! Stop listening to rappers and these internet idiots that don’t know the difference between a sports coat and blazer. Being a gentleman gets you more respect and dating opportunities than being an asshole ever will.

I can sit up here and create a dozen list. Men should open doors, men should call and make sure she’s okay if she’s driving home after a date. Real men should do this, real men should do that. Men should walk on this side of the street or not talk about this. Every guy is different, every woman is different. There’s no set of rules that makes you a man or less of a man but respect is universal. Whether you’re a hood dude, charming, funny, cool, it doesn’t matter. I can’t tell you how to be a man because most of us know how to be a man. I can just remind you that letting a few women who did you dirty or lack certain values make you disrespectful towards all the rest will get you nowhere.

Life is too short to fear what other people will think about you. If you’re happy and doing what you know is right then just live man. Just live life. Being that guy that makes women smile, that guy that walks into a room and holds it down. It never gets old.

~ Demez F. White