Effort Is A Reflection of Interest…

a pink gift box“I’ve just been so busy with work.”

“If you can’t understand that I had a life before you…”

“I got your phone calls; I answer every third time you call.”

People can make up hundreds of excuses as to why they aren’t available when you need them to be available. But what we all know whether or not we want to admit it is that when someone wants to be around us they will find a way. Now this doesn’t mean if I call tonight I’m seeing her tonight but it does mean she’ll make the effort to see me sooner rather than later.

When I was younger I can admit I was all about playing the game. I get your number on a Wednesday, God forbid I call you on a Thursday. We have a really good date on a Friday, how dare I ask you out on that Sunday? That was the young me, the me that didn’t want to seem to pressed or anxious, the one that didn’t want to be called a “bug a boo” this was pre-thirst era. Now, I could really care less because of she’s worth my interest she’s going to be worth my effort and even a little bit of my pride. I’ve never met a woman that didn’t like a tastefully aggressive and assertive man. Playing this, “if she likes me, she’ll call,” role isn’t for us. Because the effort that we’re too cool to make, another man that doesn’t even have her interest will get a foot in the door while we’re trying to be cool.

I read something today that someone wrote on a post and I couldn’t agree with it more. When a woman thinks you’re funny, handsome, charming, interesting, etc… Texting her at 2am or calling while she’s getting ready for work makes her day. But if you’re that borderline guy that’s only getting her attention because the man she wants is not living up to his promise, those calls and texts become so annoying. That’s why I always laugh on the inside when guys buy books on, “How to get women.” There’s no formula, if she thinks you’re worth her time, she’ll make the effort. Even if that effort is just talking to you for five minutes outside of the gas station or reminding you that she see’s all the flirting you do. Be yourself and be confident and watch.

What I wish I would have known five years ago, hell, two years ago. Those moments when I was broke or needed a haircut or wasn’t happy I ignored some really cool women, blew them off because I couldn’t “impress” them. And now I realize that making an effort to simply let your interest be known matters way more than appearances. Some of my best encounters have been meeting and walking at the park, eating candy and people watching. Going to happy hours with twenty dollars in my pocket and two dollar margaritas. When you make the effort and you’re confident and honest and she see’s that you’re not where you want to be but everyday is a step forward. She’ll appreciate it and you may have only spent 15 dollars plus a tip but you paid the bill and were wearing really good cologne while doing it.

Make the effort and take a chance at doing better in life because regardless of what you think. Women do make us better!

Nights Like This I Wish

20140803-095704.jpgNights like tonight I cut off my porch light and open my blinds and just watch the rain fall. The candle light illuminating the background, the sounds of mother nature brining me comfort in a way that even this writer can’t explain. On nights like tonight I wish…

Nights like this I wish that my mind wasn’t always so cluttered, I wish that I was a simpler man. That I didn’t think so much and overanalyze everything and every situation.

Nights like this I wish a warm body was enough, I wish that the feel and warmth of a thigh or the warm smell of a freshly bathed woman was enough. Nights like this I wish I could tune everything out and just lose myself in pleasure, lose myself in that violent yet sensual touch.

Nights like this I wish I was a better writer, I wish that my words touched more people than they do. Nights like this the doubt consumes me, consumes me in a way that creates a storm in my heart and soul that I can’t control.

Nights like this I just want to stand in the rain and scream that I’m good enough as a writer, as a man, as a lover, as a friend. I want to scream me to the world but who am I trying to convince? The world or myself…

~ Demez

Why the Rain Reminds Me of You…

It reminds me of you because it’s soothing like you, when I hear it I feel relaxed in the same way I feel when your hands are in my hair; when I smell it I feel calm, when the drops fall on me I feel alive. Sort of like your voice after a long day, your kiss after a dry day.

The rain reminds me of you because it’s wet like you. Because that wetness motivates me and encourages me and gives me so much creativity. That wetness feels perfect between my fingertips and on the tips of emotions. The rain falls hard or it falls light, it falls when the sky is dark and when the sky is blue. That’s who you are, wet when it’s dark and wet when it’s right before the dawn.

The wind, the scent, the urgency to get home so you can beat the storm. That’s you, your scent makes me want to come home… made me want to come home. It was just that urgent, just that worth it. Your essence is the calm of the rain before the rain even comes.

It rains in every season.

It rains at 4am or 4pm.

It rains when we need it the most and when we least expect it.

You remind me of the rain because every drop of you during any season is always welcome.