Change Can Be Scary but It’s Necessary: Especially in Relationships

You all deserve love.

You all deserve love.

Change Can Be Scary but It’s Necessary: Especially in Relationships

There are all types of change. Some change is good and some is bad but in most cases change is always necessary. You either change and adapt or you stay the same, nothing is more damaging in life than not making progress. Even regression is more relevant in life than not making any progress at all.

We’ve all come to believe that relationships have to be two people who are intimately acquainted whether it be physically, mentally or emotionally. We’ve even given relationships new names in order to justify the seriousness of them. Situationships, Friends With Benefits, Hook-Ups, etc. Don’t let any of these new age names fool you; when you’re talking to someone on any level you have a relationship with that person. Of course there are levels but it’s a relationship none the less. Either you grow and build on it or you don’t, there’s no in-between.

Why can change be scary? Mainly because comfort is a beautiful thing. When you start to feel safe and warm and know what to expect day after day or meeting after meeting you don’t feel such disappointment anymore.

It’s why so many people go to jobs they hate or stay in relationships that drive them to cheat or be miserable. That comfort. “I know he isn’t shit but I’d rather be around someone that I know isn’t shit but has some redeeming qualities then to get with a man that makes me believe he’s about something and lets me down.”

Change is often terrifying because you’re going into the unknown and there’s always two roads. The first road may lead to everything your heart desires and the second road may be failure. However do you want to know what’s worse than failure or success? Regret. That feeling of not knowing what might have happened had you just made that change. Taken that chance.

When I write and speak about relationships I’m not limiting myself to man and woman, that’s too simplistic. I’m speaking on relationships that affect who we are. Our jobs, relationships with friends that don’t help us grow.

Change matters in life, don’t be afraid of it.

Pride Comes Before the Fall…

imagesCAPJJTL9You ever participated in one of those trust exercises where they ask you to close your eyes and fall back while trusting the group to catch you? There’s like a second where time freezes and you wonder if you’re going to crash into the floor and when you feel those hands catching you… there’s this deep breath like, “YES, I MADE IT!”

There’s a certain amount of pride you have to let go of to get through something like that. It may seem simple but letting go and trusting people to hold you down is one of the hardest things in the world. Especially if you’ve never done it before.

I said I don’t make New Year Resolutions but today I’m going to make an exception to that rule. I’m going to have to let go of some of this pride I have in 2013; it’s hurting me way more than it’s helping me at this point. It’s one thing to be a man that lives on principles and morals, it’s another to let those principles rule you. Discarding people, not calling like I should, walking away from business partnerships because of slights. These aren’t characteristics that are conducive to romantic, professional or social success. Learning to let go and let people in doesn’t require giving up pride but it does involve giving up superficial pride.

Pride

The pride of a woman lies in her beauty
And of a man in his strength
That of a fool lies in his words
And a meticulous man in his actions

Pride creates an imaginary throne
Were only the fool will rule forever
Forgetting in reality he perish with hate
For hidden in pride forever is hate

Pride itself is a very fruitful seed
Bearing itself from affluence and wealth
The biggest form of foolishness is empty pride
Lustful Pride with no trace
Pride in any form will lead you to death
Death, where there is still breath

Klever Gold

Glass Half Full… Happy New Year

Happy New Year! I can’t think of a better way to start the first day of the year then by writing. I hope everyone made it home safe, no DWI’s, no waking up to someone you don’t remember going to sleep next to.

Today I want to talk about this backlash on New Years Resolutions. I’ve been seeing a lot of people knock others for saying they’re going to change their lives or get rid of certain people. It’s almost become taboo to even say you’re going to change because so many are attacking you for it.

But I’m here to tell you to make all the resolutions you want! It’s your life and if you want to claim a fresh start, become a better person, be around better people. Do it! This is the thing not a lot of people admit…

Just because you have friends or a mate that’s bad for you doesn’t mean they aren’t good for you. So it’s not easy to just get rid of people.

“Why wait until January 1st to change, change now.” <— I despise that sort of talk because change isn’t easy, if it was a lot of us would be in much better situations. And the thing that bothers me most about it is it’s usually the people that are in bad situations that are judging the loudest.

I write a lot, I write a lot of statuses, notes, blogs… I write about relationships and friendships. But understand something, I do it because I’m good at articulating a point or knowing what words to use that are going to bring out emotions. My life is just as confusing and can get just as lonely as anyone else’s. So don’t ever let anyone tell you that they have it all together.

The glass is always half full even when it seems like it may be empty. If you want to pick today to change, do that and don’t listen to all these people that are saying otherwise.