You Can’t Replace What You Can’t Let Go

I haven’t been able to write in a long time and it scares me. The words used to come with such ease, the sentences like rain drops on a stormy day.

Now I’m struggling to write a sentence on a sheet of blank white paper. I literally sit at my desk for hours trying to find the words to be great.

Drinking more, thinking more, stressing more. I can’t sleep when I get off work, I can’t sleep when I’m not at work. I miss having a muse.

I’ve tried with all my heart to replace her. I’m not talking days or months, I’m talking years. To find someone that can inspire the words like she did.

You know how much I miss talking to someone every morning before work, what those 40 minute conversations did for my sanity. You know how much I miss sexy text and jealousy.

I just want to be great and the truth is I don’t know how to be great alone.


5 Reasons I Need A Wife

Five) I’m prideful, more prideful than most men. I rarely ask for help and I’ve never taken rejection well. To be honest I’m just tired of carrying all this pride like a weight around my neck. It gets hard always taking the high road or shutting people out based off principle. I just always figured when I got a wife we’d put aside our pride together.

Four) Communication gives me life and I hate sharing on any level. If she’s my wife she’d be in bed with me and that would cover pillow talk but it’s the ability to call her whenever. Right now I don’t have that. It’s the freedom to text highly inappropriate things while she’s on her way to work and know no other man is doing that with her. The person I am, I need to know we’re number one on each others priorities list.

Three) I want a son that looks like me, I’m vein sue me. I want a daughter that looks like her and I want a couple dogs. Something Presidential, maybe Golden Retrievers or German Sheppards. I’m 29 and I’m aware that’s not old but I’d love for my wife and I to enjoy each other for a couple years before we start a family. I think that’s important.

Two) I need a muse. Someone to look at in bed while she’s sleep and go to my office and write about her. Not necessarily about her but her being there breaths fire into my words. Not to mention I hate cooking for only me. There’s nothing like watching a person take the first bite of a meal you cooked.

One) I’ll self destruct if I’m alone. I’m just no good by myself, I’ve never been. Maybe I have mother issues or something but when it’s just me I think too much and drink more. I sleep less and stress harder. It’s not a good look.
Bonus) This isn’t me asking for resumes or needing dates. I’m quite set in that area, it’s more than that. It’s always been about more than that.