Changing My Brothers Fate

20140703-065049.jpg“Where is he?” It had been at least two years since I’d seen him. Maybe longer than that. There were about ten or twelve people in the room and I didn’t recognize any of them but his wife. She stood out from the rest of them, her posture and mannerisms were the first thing that gave her away. Even though she didn’t come from where we came from she still played the part. Asking them if they wanted anything to drink or fixing plates. A part of me knew it was all just to keep herself busy.

Rubbing her shoulder, trying to meet her eyes, I asked her again. “Where is he?”

“Why are you worried now? He blames himself you know. He still talks about you like you’re his bestfriend. I didn’t know bestfriends gave up on each other.” She needed someone to take her frustrations out on. I knew she missed me, they both missed me but I did what I knew was best. At least that’s what I thought, until looking in her eyes.

The woodwork in the kitchen was beautiful, hand crafted. The entire living room was glass on three sides. The last time I was here they’d just started construction and now it was everything she designed.

“Where is he?”

She slammed the glass down on the counter making a few of the men in the room look our way, the look she gave them let them know this wasn’t their fight.


“One picture. He only keeps one picture in the garage. It’s not of his mother or his brother. It’s not of our children! Who I’m afraid to have around right now because some fool might come shooting! The only picture he has in his beloved garage is of us. You, me and him. It’s not just him you gave up on Alek! You gave up on me, on your godchildren. He’s in the garage. He wanted to be alone but his people aren’t going to leave him. They have their faults but their loyal.”

I know she needed to talk, needed to vent but today wasn’t about her.

They all grilled me as I walked across the living room but they were his dogs and his dogs wouldn’t bite unless they were instructed to. I didn’t recognize the young guys in the living room but the two at the door immediately started smiling and stood up when they saw me.

Aaron and Allen were twins and they’d grown up with us. We all played baseball together. My career ended in high school once I realized my fast ball topped out at 60 mph. Aaron and Allen were suspended for fighting and just said screw school. Niles was the best out of all of us. He could swing a bat like Ken Griffy Jr. and throw a ball like Roger Clemens but once the three of us stopped playing, so did he. I graduated to college and the three of them graduated to the streets.

Aaron and Allen lived Niles because he gave them purpose. They were just being thugs to be thugs but Niles gave them a reason to be thugs. He took pistols out of their hands and told them to use them only when necessary. He showed them how to save money and get what they wanted with respect and not fear. They were his soldiers and even though they were smiling I could see the disappointment in their eyes.

“It’s been a minute Alek, hate for this to be the reason you’re coming to see your man.”

“How is he?”

“You know Niles, he’s ice; but that’s mostly for the soldiers. It was his brother. Outside of us going to the funeral home and the service today, he hasn’t left the garage. The streets are waiting and the goons are getting antsy but we won’t do nothing until the boss tells us which way to rock.”

Stepping past them and taking the stairs down into the garage he saw why he spent so much time down. Calling it a garage was a disservice. There were three cars in there and a couple bikes but there was also a pool table, a bar, a couple couches and full bath. He was still wearing the suit he wore at the funeral, the sleeves were rolled up and his tie was loosened on his neck.

There was music playing in the background but he didn’t know the rapper. He was polishing the candy red Impala. There were two luxury cars and an SUV in the driveway but he was focused on the oldest car in the garage. The one he’d bought from his brother when he was only 16 for 600 dollars. They went all over Texas in that car and got stuck so many times they both learned how to work on cars.

Walking towards him he looked up and threw the rag on the ground before breaking out into a big smile. It started with a handshake before he pulled him in to a hug. They’d been friends since they’d both been forced to sit in church all day at the age of 5. They’d borrowed clothes, fought together, shared women and money. But at some point Alek had to make the decision that the life Niles was living was going to get him killed and he couldn’t watch his bestfriend go down that path. Walking away from his friend meant walking away from the wife he introduced him to and the godchildren he’d come to love.

“They shot him like a dog in a ditch A! They caught him leaving home and going to work and hit him over 24 times. My brother wouldn’t about this life! You know that shit! Everybody know that shit! The police acting like this over a bitch but what nigga you know do ambush him and hit him that many times and be that clean getting away if it was over a bitch?”

He grabbed the bottle of Johnny Walker Blue Label off the bar and poured us both a glass before he picked up a football and started throwing it in the air.

“He asked about you a lot. He thought maybe you tried to creep with my wife or some shit like that. Everyone asks about you, even my kids and you know… I don’t have answers for none of them because like them I’ve spent so much time trying to realize why my bestfirend got ghost on me when I needed him the most! When his bestfriend, my wife needed him! I buried my brother today but I buried my other brother the day you walked out on us!”

“You know why I had to leave bro. You have enough money, you got the house and the wife and the businesses, why the streets!? If you don’t get got by whoever hit your brother or the cops, it’s going to be one of those young boys upstairs that want your spot!”

He threw the football at the wall and got in his face.

“They don’t want my spot! They just want to be on a winning team! They know loyalty, unlike you A. What do you want man? What do you want?”

Putting his drink down on the table he straightened his own tie and looked Niles in the face.

“I know who killed your brother.”

To Be Continued…

Hell on Earth: The Revolution II

Everyone else was sweating, quiet, but sweating. She could see their chest beating up and down, she knew their heart rates were probably through the roof. Some of them were in faded military uniforms, others were in old street clothes, there was no standard look. This was war and war wasn’t pretty. They all looked from the enemy to her, from the enemy to her, waiting on her command.

Hearts beating, palms sweating, she laughed. It was a quiet laugh but it was contagious. They all looked at her like she was crazy before they started to laugh. Her heart didn’t beat fast anymore when it was time to attack. She couldn’t remember the last time her palms sweated.



They took her world. They took her child, her mother, her life. For her killing them was peaceful, it was art derived from pain. Most of them were sleeping, they looked like children, teenagers but that was the enemy’s plan. Who would attack children? Their red eyes gave them away though.

Aliens weren’t little green men or big Godzilla like monsters; the aliens that took out half the population shared their DNA. It turns out there were two earths and theirs was older, more polluted and more vicious. For them this war wasn’t about land or resources it was about power. Attack us before we had the capability to attack them.

“Don’t waste bullets. Don’t fear death! If you get close enough use your claws! Rip their fuc%ing hearts out and make them regret they ever stepped foot here! I’m hungry, I’m thirsty, hungry for revenge and thirsty for their blood! Follow me and reclaim what is ours! Follow me and die a legend or live a REVOLUTIONARY!!!” Putting her guns in the should holster and putting on her claws she looked each of them in the eye and jumped into the enemy camp screaming, hoping more would come out so more would die!

The revolution is now!

Hell on Earth: The Revolution

All she could remember was the noise, the deafening noise. Lying in bed, seriously considering calling in to have a four day weekend she thought her heart was going to jump out of her chest. “Am I dreaming?” Is the question she asked herself when all she saw was the backyard where her bathroom and closet once stood. The smoke, the fire, the screams, it was happening in slow motion.

It wasn’t until there was one scream in particular. One scream that shook her out of her dream state. She’d heard him cry before, heard him whine and play fight with his cousins but she’d never heard him scream like he was screaming now.

Jumping out of bed, taking in her neighbor lying in her backyard with half his head blown off she fought through the smoke and heat and crashing that seemed to be seconds away from falling on her to get to where she heard him screaming!

The front of the house collapsed, pieces of brick and glass everywhere. The harder she scratched and pulled to get to the scream the less fear and pain she felt. Her fingernails cracking, the heat from the fire scorching her thin nightgown.

Feeling hands on her waist pulling her back she turned to fight, seeing her husband bleeding from his head all she could do was scream, “He’s in there! He’s in there! Listen! Listen!” There was a dead look in his eyes, a look she could never recall seeing before, one that chilled her in her tracks even with all the noise and fire around her.

“We have to go Lauren! He’s gone baby! He’s gone!” Turning around, pushing him away! Still scratching! Still clawing! He could hear the rest of the roof creaking, he could hear the explosions happening around him! As the rest of the house collapsed he pulled her onto the front lawn screaming!

That was two years ago, that was the start of hell on earth!

That was the start of the rebellion that she now led!

To Be Continued…



A Life for A Life: Consenting Adults


“I need you to do me a favor.”

He could have asked me this over the phone but I knew if it was important enough for him to drive all the way from Sugarland then it was serious. I’d finished bbq’ing a while ago but the grill was still smoking. I handed him a beer and waited for the other shoe to drop.

“You know I love my wife right? I can’t even remember the last time I’ve been over here, not because you aren’t still my best friend but because I really don’t mind spending every single free moment I have with her. I need you to hear me out before you say anything. Don’t react or overreact, just hear me out.”

The more he paced the more I was hating it was Sunday and I couldn’t go buy something harder for us to drink.

“I’ve never loved anyone in my life more than I love this woman. Growing up, I never really felt like I had a family. My mom remarried, had other children, never knew my father. My grandparents were old. You were like my brother, you are my brother but it’s not the same. I didn’t feel like I had a family until I found her.”

I didn’t know where he was going with this but I could see in his eyes and the way he was crushing these beers in one gulp that it wasn’t going to be good.

“She’s pregnant bro, she’s glowing and happy and talking about baby names.” I cut him off and stood up to congratulate him. He pushed me away and slammed his fist into my punching bag!

“I can’t have kids! I can’t have fucking kids! I got an STD when we were in college, I never had any symptoms. Went to the doctor and got some blood work done for something else and they told me. I probably should have told her but I just couldn’t lose her. Now this?!”

He handed me a wallet sized sonogram picture. “I don’t know whose baby that is but it’s not mine.”

I was at a loss for words, I could see why he was stressing so hard but that didn’t change the fact that I didn’t know what he wanted from me. I didn’t have to say what was understood, he was going to ask me or else he wouldn’t be standing here right now.

“She’s the only family I have and I’m not breaking my vows. This child is half hers and that’s enough for me, that’s enough for me to love him or her and to be the best gotdamn father in the world. But I can’t walk this earth knowing that at anytime so man can come rip my family apart.”

Our eyes met and for the first time I understood what he was asking me. What I hoped he was asking me.

“I could have my lawyers get him to sign over his parental rights but what guarantee is that? I could pay him off but you know as well as I do he’s more than likely to just come back and ask for more. I need this to be permanent.”

He said it, a part of me thought it but it’s no way I thought he would actually ask it.

“We aren’t killers man, yeah, we’ve done some shit, blurred some lines but you’re talking about premeditated murder!”

He hit the punching bag!

“I’m talking about saving my fucking family! I’m talking about not losing my wife! I’m coming to you because there isn’t a person on this fucking earth I would come to for this but you! You’re my brother, the shit we’ve done, the shit we’ve seen. I’ll owe you my life, you owe me.”

 I didn’t want him to say it, to bring it up. I wanted him to ask me because we were friends, brothers, not because he helped me once when I was young and stupid. I did owe him for sins I would never forget, sins I would never wash off. I knew people, I worked in circles where I could get this done for him. But no matter what it would always leave a trail. I would have to do this myself.

“There are other ways, just tell her the truth, tell her you know.”

“Right now, she doesn’t think she did anything wrong. She thinks this is my baby, all the sex we have, all the times I’ve cum in her. Right now she doesn’t think she’s living a lie. If I tell her I know her, she’ll never be able to forgive herself and if she can’t forgive herself how can she live with me?! This is the only way.”

To bring a life into this world we would have to take a life….

Part II tomorrow  

“A Sisters Revenge”

381362_610561693495_118401058_31642797_1750460711_n It’s amazing what people don’t see when someone is making you smile. He kept pulling his hair from his face so she could see his eyes. He never touched her or made any aggressive moves, he let the bartender bring the drinks and gave nice tips each time she walked away. As far as she was concerned he was the perfect gentleman. Funny, handsome, charmingly aggressive. But what she didn’t see, what none of the women saw was the small white powder he slipped in the 3rd drink. 30 minutes would go by before she started to feel dizzy, an hour before she started to get sleepy. By that time he would be holding her up, hailing a taxi like the perfect gentleman.

What she didn’t know, what none of the women knew was that it wasn’t just anyone driving the taxi. That in less than 24hrs whatever woman got in that taxi would be all over the internet. Some men raped for the power, some for the fear, these two did it strictly for profit.

“30 men in 30 minutes,” was the name of their site. Once a month they’d find a woman, drug her and record men running a train on her. By the time she would wake up, her clothes would be on, all her money and credit cards would be in her wallet and she’d be lying on a park bench sore and sick. Most had no memory of the night before to even go to the police and the few that did had little to go on.
But what she learned from her father was that every purp left a trail, no criminal was as smart as he thought he was. The police didn’t care about rapes that didn’t have bruises and crime scenes, most of the women just wanted to pretend like it didn’t happen but I can’t do that.
I started to walk towards them, I unbuttoned my top button and raised my skirt just enough. I blinked my eyes to make sure the eye drops gave them that watery, glossy look. Right before she took a sip I bumped into her and knocked the glass out of her hand. I saw the anger flash in his eyes but she didn’t.

“I’m soooooo soooooory, I didn’t mean to knock that down!” I slurred my words and tried to dry her clothes off even though there was nothing on her, then I turned to him and tried to dry his clothes off. Just like that the light came back to his eyes and he offered to buy me a drink.

“Ummm, you’re just going to forget about me for her!?” She really liked him, even though she was drunk I could tell she thought I was snatching a winning lottery ticket out of her hand.

Little did she know I was saving her life.

“Walk away bitch! I told you I was sorry for knocking over your drink!” She stomped off and I told him I didn’t feel and held on to him like
I would fall at any minute.

“My friend left me because her boyfriend needed a ride home from work. I didn’t mean to drink this much but finals have kicked my ass and I just needed to let loose. I need to call a cab. I need to call a cab! I NEED TO CALL A CAB!”

He rubbed my arm and asked me to calm down. “I can get a cab for you no problem, we can’t have you just going home with anyone now can we?” His smile made my stomach turn.

I saw the bright yellow minivan sitting at the corner as soon as we walked out the club. When he started to look around I noticed him pinch his ear the headlights came to life. As soon as I climbed inside I leaned over in the seat like I was asleep, my eyes weren’t even closed but it was so dark he couldn’t see.

“The bitch is sleep, I’m turning around now.” I heard the door open and shut.

“I thought I’d fucked up the whole thing, right when the bitch I’d been working on all night was about to drink the shit this dumb cunt knocks the glass out her hands. At first I was pissed off but then I offered her a drink and she downed it now problem.”
“You sure no one noticed anything? After the last one you know we have to be careful.”

The last one he was speaking of killed herself after her fiancé saw the video of her having sex with man after man, smiling and begging for more. He couldn’t accept that it was the drugs talking and not her. Her family couldn’t accept that their perfect little girl was a whore so she slit her wrist and the story got national attention for a day or so before it was knocked out the headlines.

“I’m positive! Look at her body, we can charge a thousand a pop for her and can you imagine what the tapes are going to sell for?”

The more they talked the angrier I got by I just laid there, waiting, listening.

“Everything is already set up, as soon as we get to the warehouse I’ll send the blast for the guys to start showing up. First come, first serve.”

The taxi stopped and I could hear a garage door opening. I took the knife out of my garter belt and held it in my hands. I asked God for forgiveness as they started to let the garage door down. How many women laid here and felt helpless, how many women were violated and abused and screamed on the inside for help before their world went dark. The more I thought about it the tighter I squeezed the blade. As soon as the garage door slammed shut I reached around and slit the back of his neck right above the spine at the base of his neck. He wasn’t dead but he was paralyzed from the waist down. He didn’t even have a chance to scream. Before his partner could move I was on him, one eye hanging out the socket and two fingers missing.

The knife was so sharp it cut thru him like hot butter.

Blood all over my face and clothes, his screams silenced by his tongue lying on the floor next to the brakes I saw every woman that felt helpless in their eyes.

Twenty minutes later I was finished and they would never hurt another soul again. My clothes were changed and soaking in bleach, peroxide, tar and sitting in the backseat of the taxi. They were still alive but barely, in a minute they would wish they were dead. Throwing the match in the van I watched as the flames caught their bodies and they shook violently.

Blue jeans, a t-shirt and chucks no one would give me a second look walking back to campus with my backpack on and baseball cap over my eyes. Tonight was a good night, no one else would be hurt by them tonight.

Moans of Pleasure or Moans of Revenge?

228263_581014860585_118401058_31484293_5420516_nWhat’s real? Words aren’t always real, emotions live and die in the moment and a touch isn’t always just a touch. So what’s real? Is the pleasure real? Is her body under my body real? Is my tongue inside of her real? Are her moans for me or are they for the hurt he’s caused her? Are they moans of pleasure or moans of revenge? Is she real or am I the fool?

“Why is it that you don’t care?” She pushed me in the chest and stood at the foot of the bed, her skin glowing and her eyes dark. “Who says I don’t care?! I just don’t want to argue about some shit that isn’t going to change!” I just wanted her to leave, how many lies can one man stomach, how much disappointment can live inside of such a beautiful face? It wasn’t a stretch to say I hated her, it wasn’t a stretch to say that if I thought I could kill her and get away with it I would.

“How do you live with yourself? You fuck me today and go home and play the dutiful wife and fuck him tonight?! You look me in my face and tell me you think about me when he’s inside of you and you don’t expect me to hate you! You killed my baby but kept his because he has more money in his bank account. God is punishing us, you know that right! He’s punishing you for being a selfish bitch and he’s punishing me for loving you. Until we stop this, until we do right by the people in our lives, neither of us will be happy.”

She crawled onto the bed, I pushed her away. She slapped me! I pushed her away! She bit my chest, I grabbed the back of her neck and held her down on the bed. She scratched the side of my neck, it would have been so easy to snap her neck but I let her go and fell back on the bed. “If you hate me so much, why don’t you use condoms?! Why do you open the door when I come?! You act like you’re so much better than this but you can’t stop no more than I can!”

Holding the back of her neck, her stomach flat on the bed, her scratch marks stinging my chest I spread her legs with knees and went inside of her. The fighting, the screaming, the slammed doors, this is what she wanted from the beginning. What she needed. The harder she moaned the harder I thrust and the harder she came. Were her moans for me and the pleasure I was bringing her or were they for the pain he caused her and the revenge she was getting?

Taking Another Man’s Wife Act II

“Are you fucking her?”

“Excuse me.”

“You heard me, are you fucking her!”

“That’s not any of your business, you have a husband. Worry about who he’s fucking.”

“I don’t have to worry about who he’s fucking, I gave him some this morning so he’s good.”

That was two hours ago, he hung up right after that and she’d been calling ever since. The last time he looked at his phone it was twenty missed calls. She only said it to hurt him; he knew that much, but what he also knew is that she was probably telling the truth.

What kind of right did he have to get mad at a woman for having sex with her husband? That was just as stupid as her getting mad at a woman posting about how good a time she’d had on his Facebook wall. The text started ten minutes after she’d wrote, “I had a great time last night, can’t wait to do it again.” The calls started five minutes after he responded, “The feelings mutual, you looked amazing last night, I needed that.” Nothing sexual happened, it just felt good to him being able to hold a conversation and kiss a woman good night knowing there was no one else in her life.

But she didn’t see it that way. Call it jealousy, call it insecurity, call it crazy. She just didn’t understand why he needed to go out with other women!

He wanted to turn his phone off but his grandfather was in the hospital and in case someone needed him he needed to have his phone on. She’d long ago filled his voicemail up, the messages went from, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that,” to “fuck you, if you can’t answer me, I’ll just call my husband to come home early from work.” Every insult was followed by an apology, every hateful word was followed by a lustful counter.

Washing his truck, the headphones drowning out everything around him he jumped when he felt the cold water hit his back. Turning around she was standing there holding the water hose. He started walking towards her when he saw the little boy in the car seat in the back; he looked just like his father. She sprayed him with the water hose again, this time in the face. He walked over and snatched it out her hand. “You can’t answer your fucking phone!” She said, loud enough for her son to hear though at his age he wasn’t sure if the boy understood his mom was a damn fool.

“What are you doing here? You have a bad habit of stopping by uninvited.”

She stepped closer, “You didn’t have a problem with me coming by uninvited when you were inside of me last night.” “You shouldn’t have brought his son over here like this,” he didn’t want to stare at the child but he couldn’t help feel guilty. “He’s a baby, he doesn’t know what’s going on. He doesn’t know his mother is over to her boyfriend’s house trying to apologize for being a bitch.” She tried to hug him but he stepped back. Kids had more sense than parents gave them credit for. “You need to leave.” He started back washing his car, he shouldn’t have turned his back to her. He didn’t know where it came from but as soon as he looked up the passenger side window on his truck shattered. Her baby was screaming in the back seat but she didn’t drop the tire iron that was in her hand. “I swear to God if you see that bitch again or ignore me the next time it won’t be your window I aim for.” She got in her car and calmly pulled off.

Tears of the Fall… Complete Edition

“Say what you have to say and leave! I’m tired, it’s raining and to be honest I really don’t have shit to say to you! You have four minutes.”

I felt like a stalker. She changed her number, she moved out our apartment and no one knew or would tell me where she was staying and she’d blocked me on everything from Facebook to Hotmail. The only place I knew to find her was her job. I wasn’t trying to make her office gossip so I didn’t wait in the lobby or walk up to her floor. I just drove the parking garage until I saw her car and waited.

When things are going good, when she’s calling seconds after she’s left the house just to say she loves me. When our text vary from explicit to romantic to silly, when all my friends compare our relationship to theirs. When things were like that I could never have seen this coming. Seeing her, standing in front of me, her arms crossed. Cell phone in one hand, keys in the other, the hatred in her eyes.

A month ago I would have killed any man that made her feel that way.

But today I was the man that was at the center of her resentment, her wrath.

“Can we just go somewhere and have a drink? Talk.”

“If I was in hell and there were two glasses of water I still wouldn’t have a drink with your bitch ass. Now you have three and a half minutes! Say what the fuck you need to say and leave me alone. Please! Please!”

“You don’t have to fucking talk to me like this!” I slapped the car next to me and stepped towards her. She flinched but didn’t back away.

“I wish you would put your hands on me. I wish you would… You don’t have the right to touch me again! I hate you! Stupid! I hate you! You know what, your five minutes are up!” She turned to get in her car!

I grabbed her arm!

She slapped me!

I grabbed her other arm, she pushed me off and slapped me again! I pushed her to the opening of the parking garage. The rain was falling on us both, I could feel her fighting me, struggling to get lose but I needed her to hear me!

“Was what I did so wrong?! It was before we met, before I knew you! All the guys that fucked over you! The family that used you! I never hurt you! I never gave you a reason not to trust me, not to give me the benefit of the doubt! So how the hell could you just give up on me?! I deserve that shit!?”

“This isn’t about deserve!!! Fuck everyone else! Those other guys may have been full of shit but I knew they were! My family may get on my nerves but they’re blood! You let me believe that you were perfect! I gave more of myself to you than I thought was capable… And you were lying to me the entire time. No one is, was or will ever be capable of hurting me the way you did. No one. You broke me… You may as well push me over the edge.”

I let her go and turned around. She started hitting me on the back, trying to scratch me with her keys! I just walked away, ignoring her blows…


I turned around and picked her up, pushed her against the column! Her teeth sank into my lips! I could taste the blood, my hand pushed up her skirt!

The column blocked us from behind, the car blocked people from seeing us and the elements provided the backdrop!

“Make me forget I hate you! Make me forget!”

Her tears made me hard!

Her tears broke my heart!


“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!” Our faces were so close, our lips just millimeters apart. I could feel the wetness from her tears on my face, I could feel the wetness from between her thighs on my fingertips.

“I’ve been with other men, since you broke my heart I’ve been with other men. Do you still want me? Do you still want to be inside of me?!”

Her hands were gripping my face, forcing me to look at her. I couldn’t look at her.

I couldn’t hear this.

“Look at me! Look at me! I hate you! I… Hate… You.” She kissed me, her tongue deep in my mouth. Her hands in my hair, her fingernails digging in my neck.

“Can you taste them?! Can you taste them?! Because I can taste her! I can taste her now. There were three or four of them inside of me, on me, just so I could forget about you! Just so I could hurt you! I knew you’d find me! I knew you wouldn’t let me go. And now that you’re here, now that you’re holding me, trying to make me forget about her! You’ll have to live with the same nightmares I live with! I fucked them in our bed, on your pillow, I started to call you so that you could hear! You still miss me baby? You still want me baby? Or do you hate me like I hate you now?!


Grabbing her neck and turning her around, her hands braced against the column in the crowded parking garage. I pushed up her skirt even further, ripped off her panties. I tugged at my belt, my zipper.

She turned around and slapped me!

“If you want this! If this is what you need! Look at me! Look at me and see those men in my eyes! They were bigger than you! Better than you! I did things with them I’d never do with you!”

“Shut up! Shut your fucking mouth!”

I put my hand over her mouth, she bit me! Slapped me again! I grabbed her face and kissed her! I saw their faces…

I saw their faces….

The fight left me, she fell to the ground, her hands in her head. Sobbing like she just got the most devastating news of her life. I hit the car! I hit the car again! And again! And again!

I screamed! I couldn’t hold the pain in, I couldn’t imagine life without her but seeing her on the ground crying, seeing my own reflection in the window of the car I knew things could never be like they once were.

“It’s not what you think! Stop saying that! Stop lying to me! There was no one else, you haven’t been with anyone else!


A Life For A Life…

Standing outside my car, my face itching from a desperately needed shave , lips chapped. My jacket soaked from the rain that was showing no signs of letting up, I watched them.

I didn’t try to hide or blend in. I just leaned against the car, flask in my left pocket, 9 millimeter in my right. Maybe if it wasn’t pouring the people leaving Discovery Green would have noticed my red eyes.

Maybe if they hadn’t been downing margaritas and beers all day they would seen how out of place I was in the black camouflage jacket and steel toe boots.

She hugged his arm as they walked to his car, it wasn’t an urgent walk or run like the people around them. They walked like they were savoring every moment together. Her dress was stuck to her body, every curve showing. Every other step or so his hand would find her back or ass, she’d smile or giggle.

He opened her door first but before they got in they kissed. A hungry kiss, an ‘I can’t wait until we get home kiss.’ When he got in the car they kissed again. He was trying to start the car but it wouldn’t start. I cut the battery cable and fuel line.

He got out and opened the hood of the sedan. I finished the last of the VSOP in the flask and threw it to the ground. Holding the heavy black gun in my right by my side I walked towards him. He was having trouble seeing in the rain, I wasn’t. When I stepped onto the street our eyes met. She put her hand over her mouth and stepped out the car.

He heard her scream and looked up. The gun was a foot away from his face, he didn’t know me but he knew of me.

“You don’t have to do this bro!”

He was scared, the cockiness and vibrato he had the one time I talked to him on the phone was gone. He didn’t know what this was about but she did. She stood in front of him and he let her.

For the first time I saw the ring on her finger. It wasn’t fear in her eyes, it was sadness.

“I’m sorry. You don’t want this! You’ll spend the rest of your life in prison. I’m not worth that!”

She was right, she wasn’t worth it. But the day she took the life of my child so that she could be with another man… She knew her penance was coming.

“A life for a life Manda.”

I pulled the trigger. He fell to the ground. She screamed, people on their way home from a Saturday Funday screamed. She fell to her knees, her purple floral dress covered in a crimson red.

“I life for a life.”

Putting the gun to my head. I smiled, knowing she’d live with this the rest of her life and that I’d finally have peace gave me calm.

I pulled the trigger.


“How bad is it?!” I couldn’t breathe, I was trying to catch my breath but I couldn’t breathe!

I’d never liked hospitals, I was never here for an happy occasion. Not for the birth of a child or someone getting out of a cast. It was always death and pain, always dreary and dark. Cold and sterile.

His head was down, there was blood on his shirt but I didn’t see a scratch on him. Why wasn’t he saying anything?! Why wasn’t he saying anything?!

“How bad is it!!?” I grabbed his face so that he would look at me, his eyes met my eyes and I knew. I knew, what the fuck?! What?! We were talking without talking!

“Dead?! He’s dead!!!” My mouth opened but no screams came out, the tears welled in my eyes but they didn’t fall. His face, his smile, his hands, his laugh, they all flashed before me. I saw us in bed last night, I saw the last text he sent.

“He’s not dead Keri…” I couldn’t take my eyes off the blood on his shirt, why was there so much blood on his shirt?! My hands were in my hair, I needed them there to stop them from


“WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN HE’S NOT DEAD!!!? Stop with the fucking riddles!!!” I grabbed his shirt, he pushed me away, I flew into the table! Magazines and chairs went everywhere! People in the waiting room, nurses walking by. They all stood up and looked at him, he looked at me!

He knew…


How did he know?!

How did he know?!

“Bitch!!! What did you think was going to happen!? He’s in a fucking coma!!! He’s brain dead! BRAIN DEAD!!!”

He launched at me! I jumped behind a chair and tried to run, he grabbed my jacket, I came out of it! A doctor tried to grab him, he hit him in the nose! People were yelling, I didn’t look back running down the hallway! Security grabbed him, it took three of them to hold him and drag him off!

“YOU KILLED HIM! HE’S FUCKING BRAIN DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU! BECAUSE OF YOU! I’LL GET YOU FOR THIS SHIT! You killed my best friend, you killed my best friend…”

I could feel everyone looking at me, my heart was beating so fast I couldn’t hear myself think. They were all looking at me, judging me but they didn’t know. They didn’t know, it wasn’t my fault! It wasn’t my fault!

I don’t know how long I sat in the waiting room alone, the rain falling outside, the cold air causing me to sniffle. I heard him before I saw him.

“Mrs. Hall, this is always a difficult decision but your husband no brain function left. He’s only breathing with the help of a machine, do you want to unplug the machine?”

I should have called his mother, his sisters, I should have cried and asked if it was more they could do….


“Do not resuscitate him. Pull the plug.”