Closed Mouths Don’t Get Fed; If You Want Something, Just Ask

fullsizerender2Let’s say you really want to go to a concert or sporting event and you go on Ticketmaster or House of Blues and the event is sold out? What’s the first thing you do if you really want to go? You get online and you look for tickets being sold outside the venue. Why don’t we do that in real life when dealing with real people?

I’ve noticed something, too many people have become too cool to be excited about other people’s blessings. Or maybe it’s simply selfishness. Let’s say I have a friend that’s getting married and they don’t invite me to their wedding but I really want to go. Now I’m a logical man, weddings cost money and we aren’t great friends but I really like this person and want to help celebrate their day. Instead of texting them, “You forgot my invite, lol.” Or making a Facebook post saying, “I guess everyone isn’t cool enough to come to everyone’s wedding.” Or something else that’s passive aggressive why not just call them?

We’ve become so afraid of rejection or feeling like someone may think we’re too pressed that we don’t want to be human. If I know we’re friends but I don’t make the wedding guest list what’s the matter with calling and asking if I can stop by the reception or asking if I can come to the bachelor party or engagement party? If a friend is having their child a birthday party and your child doesn’t get invited, maybe they didn’t have the money to pay for 10 kids at Chuckie Cheese, why not ask if you could pay for your child simply because you want to be there.

I’m not one of those men that pretend I’m too cool for social media. I post statuses, tweet, watch snapchat videos. They’re entertaining and it keeps me abreast of people’s lives that I probably wouldn’t know anything about otherwise. But social media has also made people weary of rejection. I saw an entire thread recently about whether or not a guy should “shoot his shot” and it took me a second to realize that simply meant, “Should a man ask a woman out on a date or for her phone number?” Think about that for a minute, the idea that a woman might say no is so terrifying that men are literally not even risking it. That’s absurd. We’ll fill out 45 job applications when we’re unemployed but if you’re lonely and want a life mate, you’re afraid to ask a woman out? Where in the world does that make sense?

All I’m saying is, rejection is going to happen in every aspect of life but at some point the risk will be worth the reward.

Stop Expecting Rewards for Doing What You’re Supposed to Do

dwhiteI was cutting the yard yesterday. I was weed eating and playing in the flower beds and I was filthy. My girlfriend saw me and said, “You’re filthy but you look cute.” Instead of saying thank you I replied, “I know. When a man is doing manly type work you’re supposed to be turned on by that.” Her response to my arrogance was “So you want me to give you credit for doing what you’re supposed to be doing?” I smiled and thought about that. Was I wanting credit for doing what I was supposed to be doing or was I just feeling good about doing something I said I would do?

A couple days ago I was getting my inspection sticker for my work truck and I was with this guy I was training. While we were there a woman walked in and she was attractive. She sat down next to me and I could tell she wanted to ask me something but she was hesitant. “They are telling me I need a new gas cap; they told me the same thing last year and I feel like gas caps don’t go bad in a year?” I told her just to tell them that she would take her car somewhere else and not to worry about it and I’m pretty sure they’ll chill. She did that and got her inspection sticker. She thanked me, I said no problem and I left.

The guy I was training said, “She seemed interested, why didn’t you get her number.” I told him I had a girlfriend and there was no need in making a new friend that was never going to be a friend anyway.

You don’t get medals for doing the right thing, there’s no “likes” or “retweets” or pats on the back. There’s simply piece of mind and knowing you can sleep at night or leave your phone unattended. There’s no gift cards or frequent flyer miles; there’s simply coming home from work and knowing your lights, water and gas will be on.

Expecting rewards for doing what you’re supposed to do is only going to break your heart and make you seek out something more. The reward for doing what you’re supposed to do is knowing you’ll never have to answer for doing something you had no business doing.