Change Can Be Scary but It’s Necessary: Especially in Relationships

You all deserve love.

You all deserve love.

Change Can Be Scary but It’s Necessary: Especially in Relationships

There are all types of change. Some change is good and some is bad but in most cases change is always necessary. You either change and adapt or you stay the same, nothing is more damaging in life than not making progress. Even regression is more relevant in life than not making any progress at all.

We’ve all come to believe that relationships have to be two people who are intimately acquainted whether it be physically, mentally or emotionally. We’ve even given relationships new names in order to justify the seriousness of them. Situationships, Friends With Benefits, Hook-Ups, etc. Don’t let any of these new age names fool you; when you’re talking to someone on any level you have a relationship with that person. Of course there are levels but it’s a relationship none the less. Either you grow and build on it or you don’t, there’s no in-between.

Why can change be scary? Mainly because comfort is a beautiful thing. When you start to feel safe and warm and know what to expect day after day or meeting after meeting you don’t feel such disappointment anymore.

It’s why so many people go to jobs they hate or stay in relationships that drive them to cheat or be miserable. That comfort. “I know he isn’t shit but I’d rather be around someone that I know isn’t shit but has some redeeming qualities then to get with a man that makes me believe he’s about something and lets me down.”

Change is often terrifying because you’re going into the unknown and there’s always two roads. The first road may lead to everything your heart desires and the second road may be failure. However do you want to know what’s worse than failure or success? Regret. That feeling of not knowing what might have happened had you just made that change. Taken that chance.

When I write and speak about relationships I’m not limiting myself to man and woman, that’s too simplistic. I’m speaking on relationships that affect who we are. Our jobs, relationships with friends that don’t help us grow.

Change matters in life, don’t be afraid of it.

Nice Guys Don’t Finish Last; Weak Men Do

FB-Ring.jpg I worry that a lot of men mistake being nice for being weak. They literally jam Drake and cry themselves to sleep because the woman that love doesn’t want to return their calls or is making a FB status about another guy.

It’s not because she’s into bad boys or doesn’t respect that you pay for dinner or hold or door open. It’s because in her eyes you’re a push over, the little brother that she loves to death but can make go get her some ice cubs at the drop of a dime.

Grown women aren’t having babies and taking care of bad boys and lazy grown men. She doesn’t not answer your text or accept your invited because you’re nice, she puts you on the backburner because you’re weak.

It’s okay to look a woman in her eyes and tell her no. It’s okay to kiss her without her asking you to, it’s okay to pick her up and not ask her where she’d like to go. Women are turned on by men that are in control. By a man that she knows will protect her and put her in her place. If she leaves because you start no she was going to leave sooner than later anyway.

I don’t have all the answers and you don’t have to listen to some unmarried childless writer from Houston, TX but if there’s one thing I know it’s women. They don’t like men that act like b*tches. She will put up with a guy grabbing her and telling her I love you too much to let you walk away.

Her heart will beat faster when that man holds her hand outside of the restaurant and tells her from this moment on I don’t want you dating anyone else and kisses the hell out of her. Weakness is a disease that will cause you more hurt than any toothache or headache. Be a man and let her know weak doesn’t live here.