15 Things Every Woman Should Have

black dress

1. A little black dress.

2. A strapless bra.

3. A pair of black heels.

4. Quiet confidence.

5. A flat iron.

6. A curling iron.

7. Clear lip gloss.

8. Red lipstick.

10. A pair of jeans that fit perfectly.

11. A copy of Demez F. White’s book.

12. A set of black lingerie.

13. Candles.

14. Pearls.

15. A subscription to Vogue.

I’m All In

cba 3I write these two page short stories every now and again because I want people to know what they’re getting when they buy my novel. I use my name because I put my emotions and my life in these words, in every word.

“Is it real?” I put my Corona on the floor and leaned back, was she serious?

“Do you want to touch it and see if it’s real?” She smiled and blew me a kiss.

I couldn’t remember the last time I was speechless about anything. She was standing in front of me, her jeans unzipped, her wet t-shirt pulled up past her bra and her pink nails removing the bandage. I wasn’t surprised by what she was about to show me but I was surprised that she’d actually went through with it.

It never came up but I was sure she got some kind of laser hair removal down there because every since I’d known her intimately it was as smooth as babies skin. There they were, staring me in the face. Two letters about the size of big paper clips sitting right below her panty line. Damn near glowing from the ointment that was covering them.

I downed my beer and stood up. Her eyes wouldn’t leave mine.

I wish I could front but I couldn’t, seeing my initials on someone so beautiful did something to my ego. This wasn’t a woman that had a bunch of tattoos or was impulsive, she thought about everything she did, we talked about everything to the point of wanting to strangle each other at times. So the fact that she did this scared me more than anything.

It told me she wasn’t playing any games. I rubbed my hand across the D first and then the W. Outside of a wedding ring or a baby how much more real could a situation get? She let her panties go and the lace covered my finger. I didn’t move it.

The rain was coming down harder now.

“I told you the other night this was yours.” She took my hand and slid it a couple of inches to the left, we were still standing.

“I wasn’t lying to you the yesterday, if I can’t have you, I swear no one will because no one else is going to have me!” She put her head in the crook of my neck and started to suck, she was a bitter.

Looking out the window at the rain falling, looking at the table, at her cell phone glowing with our picture on the screen I knew she was in deep. I was sure I loved her but the intensity with which she loved me was crazy. Before her I thought I had jealousy issues, after her I really learned what jealousy issues were. Even with everything that was going on in my head, the harder she sucked my neck the harder I pushed my two fingers inside of her. She was grinding on them, I knew it was just a matter of time before she pushed me down on the couch.

The tattoo was real, my initials were on her for life now. Did I even want that kind of responsibility in my life?

She pushed me on the couch and tried to climb on top of me, I stopped her and flipped her on the couch. I fell to my knees and pulled down her jeans just a bit, pulled at her panties just a bit and wiped the tattoo with my t-shirt. Then I licked it and kissed it.

She rubbed my hair and looked down at me, “What are you doing D?”

I looked up and pulled her shirt down, I kissed her stomach. “Would you die for me, fight for me?”

Her lips felt so soft on my forehead. “If there’s no you, there’s no me.” I pulled her face to mine and kissed her, the thunder made her jump so I kissed her harder.

“It’s throbbing baby, can you stop all this touching and kissing and kiss “it?”” I stood her up, zipped up her jeans and pinched her nipple.

“I promise to stop the throbbing when we get back.” I grabbed my jacket off the couch and opened the door with the rain coming down hard.

“It’s nasty out there boy! Where are we going?” She was pulling at my belt and trying to get my shirt off.

“Back to the tattoo place, if you’re all in. So am I.”

No more words needed to be said, she just cut off the lights and grabbed her jacket. “I’ll take care of you in the car, let’s go.” The smile on her face was huge.

I locked the door and went to get her initials.

Maybe we had some sort of crazy co-dependent relationship.

Maybe I was drawn to her because she needed saving and I needed to be needed.

Maybe having the novel out and having a career that was blossoming didn’t fulfill me like I thought it would.

Either way, yesterday morning when I woke with her straddling me, tears in her eyes and a silk scarf in her hands.

“I’ll kill you or myself before I let you leave me, do you understand me?” She was naked, her eyes were almost swollen from the tears, all I could do was hold her to stop the shaking. Most men would have ran or been scared. I’d never been more infatuated, more in love.

When you’re alone for so long you tend to appreciate when someone loses their mind over you and in turn you probably lose a little of your mind. Was I losing mines?

She’s Not Better Than You… Just More Interesting

betterBeing a single guy with career ambitions and no children I often get people giving me advice on the type of women I should date. Most say stay away from women with children, others say stay away from women over thirty five that have gotten used to being alone. Find a woman with a good job, find a woman that goes to church, find a woman that likes Unicorns. The advice never stops but all of them are hypocrites, especially the men.

The truth is as men we love interesting. We love sexy and cool and passionate. You can be the sweetest woman in the world but if you’re boring or tired all the time or bitter than I’m good. Women often wonder why “ho’s” get the ring before them or women with two children have men beating down their door when you have everything together and no kids and can’t even get men to call you back. The reason is those women are just more interesting, cool, funny, sexy and happy. You know how depressing it is to always talk to a woman that has issues, that’s sad or hates or job? That’s complaining about everything? You’re a great godmother, a great aunt, a great employee. I get it, you’re tired, but you need to also get that when you want something you make time and deal with those groggy weekday mornings.

Most men are fully aware of the flaws of the women they fall in love with. He knows she has a bigger body count than Ted Bundy but he also knows she’s fun to be around and she’s happy and she wants to be there. What women think is a good woman and what men think is a good woman are two different things. I love to cook, I keep my home spotless, I could care less if the woman I love does these things. As long as she keeps herself up, wants success as much as I do and is as passionate as I am. I can deal with her demons. I’ll check her ex that still calls if he won’t listen to her, I’ll deal with her insecurities and trust issues until she realizes I’m not them and more than anything I’ll make her feel how deep my love is. You love Jesus and you pay your bills on time but you’re boring, stagnant in life and expect a man to save you… To your girls and family you’re a great woman, to a man you’re boring and afraid to give your all. You want a ring but how can any man want to spend the rest of his life with a woman that’s not mentally, emotionally or sexually stimulating?

I’ll be coming home from a date or work and I’ll get on FB and see a hundred pretty single women on that little scroll playing phone or FB games. That is more interesting to a lot of them than accepting a date offer and that’s fine if that’s what they want. But when that woman that you despise accepts the offer you turned down don’t get mad at her or the man. Get mad at yourself.

Why Men Love Mentally Stimulating Women

156962_10150323498710174_881165173_16061373_5591716_nOne- Random conversations; with technology at an all time high. FB chat, BB chat, Google chat, email, texting, messaging, the days of talking to someone on the phone often are becoming a thing of the past. So the concept of having a real hour long mentally stimulating conversation is maybe one of the sexiest things ever. When I hang up the phone my mind is just open because of her voice, her intelligence, her ability to absorb information and react. Yes… Phone conversations about politics, religion, life, love, real life issues can be so cool with the right smart woman.

Two- Natural Charm; charm is by far one of the most overlooked qualities on a woman. It often gets confused with flirting but it’s not even close. You can teach someone how to flirt but you can’t teach charm. Intelligent women usually have this natural ability to make you smile because they have the sense to know what works. If a man is mad she knows a joke to tell, if he’s sad she knows the right words to make him happy. Being able to recognize a problem and fix it in a manner of minutes isn’t something a basic chick can do.

Three- Situation and Circumstance; I’ve met so many women that carry themselves so ladylike, so elegantly and once I get to know them. Once we get comfortable, it’s all Jay Z, lets get drunk, what’s up homie… See intelligence isn’t always being prim and proper, a lot of times it’s about knowing when to be prim and proper. If I take her to my brother’s house for a fight and we’re drinking and talking noise, having a good time. She’s not setting the party off if she starts to talk about the mortgage prices or our Senate’s inability to get anything passed. By her seeing the crowd and seeing what everyone is about and adapting to that situation, she just showcased that beautiful brain of hers.

Four- Makes Date Nights Amazing; Have you ever tried to take someone that didn’t like history to a museum, it is just a waste of time. Talking about Plato or Caesar or Picasso to a woman that wants nothing to do with it. It’s not her fault she has no interest in history but when you take culture out of a relationship or date it becomes a bunch of drinking and reality show talk. I like exhibits and walking from restaurant to restaurant on a Sunday in City Centre drinking and talking about art. Not even in a geeky way but in a relaxing, calm way. Artists have the most interesting background stories and they make for perfect conversations.

Five- I’m a Freaking Writer!!!!; I write almost everyday of my life so the idea of having a woman that likes to read and give real feedback and make real corrections is so appealing to me. Women often mistake blind co-signing or random negative feedback for FEEDBACK… But real feedback is different, it just has a different vibe. Like I know she read it and I her opinions just make sense because she can explain herself and articulate herself.

At the end of the day beautiful women are everywhere and if you have charm or money or looks you can get one easy. Hell, lame guys can luck up on a fine woman. But you can’t luck up on a woman that’s an intellectual superstar because she just expects more, she just wants more.




‘Smile… it’s the second best thing to do with your lips.’ – Anonymous

The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart. Author: Helen Keller

One quote represents all the sex appeal in the world in the simplest way. The other quote goes deeper, it speaks about what we all know but can’t really put our finger on. And that’s that the best feeling in the world isn’t really a touch or whispered words but it’s a feeling.

A feeling that is unexplainable, it could be your heart skipping a beat, it could be goose bumps. It’s different for each and every one of us but it’s the same. Because it’s a feeling that’s unique to the heart. I’m a romantic by nature, I love Love songs and poetry, dinner dates and long conversations. That’s just cool to me and that leads me to what this Thursday afternoon note is about.

Sex Appeal…

Sex appeal refers to an individual’s ability to attract the sexual or erotic interest of another person, and is a factor in sexual selection or mate choice. The attraction can be to the physical or other qualities or traits of a person, or to such qualities in the context in which they appear. The attraction may be to a person’s looks or movements or to their voice or smell, besides other factors. The attraction may be enhanced by a person’s adornments, clothing, perfume, hair style, and anything else which can attract the sexual interest of another person.

Sex appeal is more than a short skirt or a tight blouse. It’s more than a woman licking her lips or a man winking. Even though I suppose it depends on how the man or woman looks. Sex appeal is both underrated and overrated at the same time.

It’s underrated because sex appeal can make up for soo many flaws. It’s literally in the eyes of the beholder. What’s sexy to one man may not be sexy to the next.

It’s overrated because what attracts you may literally be the only thing you’ll ever have in common with that person. A girl has a big ass and dimples, I smile at her, she smiles at me. As soon as we start to talk I realize she’s not what’s up. The sex appeal was there but it’s almost null in void.

One woman told me that she should be able to turn me on sexually with a kiss and a couple of words.

Another told me that all she has to do is sit next to me.

And the funny thing is, they’re both right.

Sex appeal is the key to the lock, it’s the smile that leads to the hello that leads to the kiss that leads to the clothes on the floor.

Sex appeal is the “goodbye” that turns into the, “don’t go” that turns into the clothes on the floor.

Sex appeal isn’t just about sex, it’s about the intimate moments that take place when you don’t even know a person.

Personally speaking, I’m a fan of all things sexy, all things flirty. I love lips, there is nothing that turns me on more than a woman that has a nice laugh, a sensual laugh. A friendly smile that’s erotic at the same time. For me sex appeal is a perfect color on her nails or a pair of earrings that go with bangles on a pretty wrist.

Details matter to me and there are so many details in a smile.

A Great Smile= Great Sex Appeal

I’m sure everyone that’s going to read this has an amazing amount of sex appeal and I’m even more certain there are a million people that appreciate it.

I actually have a person on my friends list that has the perfect smile and I was going to use her picture for this note but I can’t at the moment. I’m sure you know who you are, so enjoy that smile, it’s flat out sexy.

You all enjoy tonight, the weekend is simply one work day away!!!!

Demez F. White

Why Men Love Sex Appeal…



I’ll start the premise of my blog with those two thoughts.

Now let me be honest for a second, I was in a relationship for eight years with a woman I loved very much. She was a really good person, a sweet soul but our sex life sucked. It could have been me, I could be horrible in bed and a bad kisser. I doubt it but you never know…

There was months at a time where there was nothing, no kissing, no touching, no dresses with panties in the purse. And I stayed in there because I felt and still feel like good women don’t grow on trees. But now that I’ve been removed from her from awhile I know with all my heart I can never do that again.

I’m sure most men love sex, we’re men. But I LOVE SEX AND SEX APPEAL!!!

It motivates me to not only write but to write the sort of writing that turns people on mentally. I need to be around a woman that knows she’s fine and knows I want her every time I talk to her or see her. I need the text that say “I’m not wearing panties today.” The calls that say, “I can’t wait until you come over tonight.”

No guy in his right mind expects a woman to be “ON” 24/7, they’ll be days and nights were panties won’t be pretty and conversations won’t be sexy. That’s what love is, that’s what relationships are. But that shouldn’t be the norm. The norm should be wanting to ignore every fine ass woman in my phone or on Facebook because the woman I’m with is everything I write about.

It’s not fair to compare one woman to the next, you don’t know what she’s been thru in life but any guy that tells you he doesn’t think about the woman that was down for whatever when he’s with a woman that’s not is lying.

At 29 I can’t imagine spending the next 50 years having sex once a week with a woman in big panties or old ass t-shirts. I have no children, I love life and love and lust. I need surprise masturbation sessions in the truck where I can barely drive because you’re going in on yourself. I need moments in the restaurant where we’re both drunk and saying incredibly inappropriate things. I’m about that life.

This message isn’t knocking women that love panties or clothes that do nothing for their figure. I’m sure there’s men out there that love that. This message is more so phrasing the women that love their body and what that said body does to men like me.

So in closing I’d just like to thank all the women that took extra attention to get well groomed, showered, pull out that perfect skirt and blouse. Sprayed that soft summer fragrance and picked out a perfect heel and decided to leave the panties at home or put on a pair that would make any man more than happy to take off today and meet her for lunch.

Ten Lies We Tell Ourselves About the Opposite Sex

Ten “Money doesn’t matter.” Money does and will always matter when it comes to men and women. Understand something, we live in a world where being evenly yoked matters. If a woman is used to taking vacations, going to gala’s and eating out at nice places paying ten dollars for a chocolate martini then guess what. No matter how great a guy is it will become annoying that he can’t live that lifestyle with you. Because in a woman’s eyes that’s went to school or made herself successful she feels like it’s her right to have fun and enjoy life. And being with a man who’d rather sit at home or only eat and drink at value prices is just a turn off. Even if he’s a good man because they don’t correlate.

Nine “Sex Isn’t Everything.” I’m a writer, I get five inboxes a week from women in relationships that are simply horny. They’re with really good men that just don’t satisfy them, maybe it’s technique, maybe it’s size, maybe it’s just chemistry. But they got with these guys because they were good men that would make good husbands. The sex was great with the loser that always borrowed her car before him but this guy looks at her like she’s the only woman in the world. Common sense, logic… what’s more important? A man that you can trust or a man that can make you cum? Think really hard about this question. When the sex is bad and orgasms only come in the shower or when he’s not home the relationship is doomed. It sounds  great to say, ‘He’s a great guy, it’s just sex,’ but that’s not how we’re wired. 80% of women don’t cum at all during sex.   

Eight “They’ve lost their figure but I still love them.” Any man that leaves his wife because she has his children and gains some weight would be labeled a complete asshole. Any woman that cheats on her husband because his six pack has given way to longer nights at the office and actual six packs would be a bitch right? But who are we kidding? We’re a vain society. If you marry Beyonce and in four years you have Monique you won’t look at her the same. If you marry a man who’s body gives you goose bumps and all of a sudden he can’t walk up stairs without sweating it’s a turnoff. We’ve all heard the saying, ‘To keep them, do what you did to get them!” and that’s so true. It’s politically incorrect for a man to complain about his wife’s body but I work with all men and they do it all the time. Is it right? No, it’s selfish but that’s the point. I’m not writing what sounds good, I’m writing what I know men think. When their sexy wife becomes overweight and wears big panties to bed, the ‘in-loveness’ gives way to just loving her out of obligation.

Seven “Good <Bad.”  Women that are boring are simply boring.

 “What do you want to do tonight baby?”

Good girl: I’m tired, I had a long day at work and I just want to watch some TV and go to bed. Maybe we can do something this weekend, there’s a new movie coming out and we can go to that Chinese place.

Bad girl: I want to do you tonight or better yet I want you to do me. I’m tired, I’m stressed, bring that **** over here and give me some life! Stop by Pappas and get me some fondue and a bottle of wine. Thanks babe!

Now I know some good girls will read this and say, ‘That’s not me,’ but it probably is you. Good women expect men to be understanding that they’re tired or sleepy or stressed. And most men are very understanding. A good girl isn’t going to ask you to wait at a crowded restaurant or go out of your way. But she’s also not going to bang you like a porn star on a Thursday when she has to get up at 6am. She won’t get jealous and bring that excitement. She won’t piss you off and arouse you at the same time. Men love women that have fire, that have passion. Bad girls are just more interesting than good girls. That’s why so many ho’s are winning in 2012.

Six ”Bad> Good”  Do you know why I make the male characters in my writing such assholes? Because that’s what women want to read about. Guys that fight and have tattoos and are aggressive turn chicks on. Now you also have men that are just arrogant, no thug appeal but they have power. It’s the same concept though. Women are turned on by men that don’t come easy. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve heard a woman say, ‘He was just too damn interested. I could cancel on him today and tell him I don’t want to see him and tomorrow have him bring me dinner.’ Women hate weak men. They’ll put up with them because who wants to be lonely or deal with jerks all their life but bad guys just make a woman’s heart beat a little faster. And no matter how much she drops the… ‘I just want a good man to treat me right’ line, in the back of her mind she’ll always want excitement.

Five “It’s the thought that counts.” It’s her birthday, she’s excited, ready, has been looking forward to this day for the past ten months. You show up with a balloon and a cookie because that’s all you can afford. Even though you went out over the weekend and dropped money on a basketball game or drinks. But you remembered, you look her in her eyes and tell her you love her and Happy Birthday baby. You know what she’s going to do, smile and go out and shake her ass with her friends and guys that are pinning money on her and buying drinks. Actions matter more than thoughts! They always will… It’s why I can get away with writing the way I write because my actions back me up. If they didn’t I’d have women coming out the woodworks putting me on blast. Put up 50, a 100 dollars a month to take care of her when that time comes. Words are great, thoughts make for cool love letters. But get shit done!

Four “It’s better to give than to receive.” This is true but not why people say it is. We give most of the time to get, no one likes a one sided relationship. Men don’t take care of and spoil beautiful women because we’re gentleman, we do it because she’s going to give us amazing sex and make us the envy of every other man in the room. Men don’t go down on women for twenty minutes because we want to please her, we know if she doesn’t get hers she’s more than likely going to be lazy when it’s time for me to get mine. Giving feels amazing but most of the time we give to get and even if we give out the kindness of our heart we still want something in return. It’s human nature. No one wants to feel played and giving and giving and giving without getting messes with our spirit.

Three “Who you were before me doesn’t matter.” What?! Does anyone believe this? Ummm no! But guess what, we say it all the time because it makes us feel better about being with someone that was a bad person or a whore or a jumpoff or a weirdo. You don’t think if I’m dating a woman that has slept with every fraternity guy at her college it isn’t in the back of my mind? Or if a woman finds out I fall in love with every woman that has a pretty smile and reads my writing she isn’t going to worry that history may repeat itself? Who you were makes you who you are. That’s not to say people don’t change or grow but when you do things you leave a trail. And Houston or any city is small in certain pockets and the black community is one of those pockets. So if the woman is special enough or if the man is cool enough we may over look it but it matters.

Two “Honesty is the best policy.” The truth will not always set you free, this isn’t to say you lie about major events or issues. But it is to say use common sense. If you’re on the phone with your ex or a home girl and you blow off your woman’s call, when she asks you why you didn’t answer, you don’t say because I was talking to my ex and that excited me. You don’t say because my home girl was telling me about a threesome she had. You just make something up. And we all do it but pretend like any lie whatsoever is the end of the world. If I wasn’t pleasing my woman, do I want her to tell me… “Demez, I love you but you aren’t big enough for me and I think about my ex in order to get aroused.” HELL NO! I’d probably lose my mind and all self esteem. I’d rather her give me the ‘It’s me and not you baby’ line. Lies when they’re selfless protect people from themselves. I would never tell a woman that your lack of ambition is unattractive to me because maybe she’s happy with where she is life so I’ll tell her, “You’re better than me and you deserve better.” Maybe we both know it’s a lie but that’s the game we play.

One “Love Conquers All” Love is damn near at the bottom of the priority list. First and foremost we have to be, need to be, physically attracted to someone. That’s not even up for debate. And if there is no physical attraction (mostly women here) than the guy better be paid. It’s why the Bill Gates and Seals of the world marry supermodels. Charm, sex appeal, style, all these things come before love. We forget that love isn’t really an option until all those other traits and character appeals happen. So you can’t love someone before you know them and you can’t get to know them unless you’re attracted to them or to their money which equals security or comfort. Love isn’t overrated but I know plenty of broke guys that were loving hard but their women would rather drive a car that worked. Love makes for great songs and cinema but when he’s sitting on the couch and you’re going to work every morning… What’s love got to do with that? Or if she’s running through our checking account but only bringing in 20% of our home gross, what’s love again? Love conquers nothing but the heart and the head usually wins out over the heart.