There’s A Difference Between Being Selfish and Doing What’s Best For You

Don’t let people try and make you feel guilty or selfish because you don’t want to go along with their wishes or agenda. Children are a perfect example of this, especially in work environments. Do you know how often I’ve had men come to me and say, “My son has a game this weekend or my wife can’t pick the kid up from daycare so I can’t work late. I know you don’t have kids so can you stay?” If you say no people look at you like, “Oh my God, you’re so selfish.” How am I selfish because you and your wife didn’t plan better? Why is you having to pay a late fee at the daycare anymore important that me wanting to watch Netflix and take off my pants?

Having a sick mother or a grandmother that can’t drive and you can ask for some help financially but you can’t pick her up to take her to the grocery store, that’s selfish. Putting your mother in a elderly community where they have doctors, resources, where she won’t have to be at home by herself all day; maybe people judge you for that. But sometimes doing what’s best for you and being a little selfish go hand in hand.

We’re all somewhat selfish even if our selfishness is rooted in selflessness. Say someone works at a shelter and they feel as though people aren’t donating enough. Isn’t it sort of selfish and a little arrogant to feel like a person should not buy a plane ticket or a new coat but instead donate that money to the homeless? It’s their money, they worked for it, whether they want to throw it at strippers or spend it on a steak, that’s their right. And if they only want to give 20 dollars to your cause, so be it. Unless it’s family or someone that has been there for you; very few people owe you anything.

Society has a way of making you feel like doing what’s best for you is selfish. Your family is struggling, your brother lost his job, your sister is depressed; so you have to turn down a dream job to stay home and help. You have to give up on your dreams because it would be selfish to not be there. In 10, 20 years when you’ve realized that you haven’t lived the life you wanted because you were so busy taking care of everyone else; that regret will eat you alive. What so many people fell to realize is that you can help the ones you love so much more by being selfish. By building and growing and in the end you help them build and grow. As opposed to all of you struggling together.

11692773_10100181132452095_3114012952436566252_n

Author Demez F. White

Has America Become Too Politically Correct or Is It Growth?

  It’s easy to forget just how many opportunities there are in this country if you’re willing to work for them. It would be incredibly short sided of anyone to say that sexism, racism, religious persecution and other forms of discrimination still don’t exist but I could also rationalize that we have let fanatics change the narrative of what should be the story. 
I’m not offended by the Confederate Flag but I very much understand why it has to be removed. Though I would point out that it’s only being removed in the wake of a horrible domestic terrorism incident. That’s political correctness, or at least how it should be used. Taking a horrible moment in American History and using it to effect real change politically. 

There are other forms of political correctness that I do believe are doing more harm than good. The first being our extreme takes on food. It’s crazy that we can get a burger and fries for 2.99 but a side salad cost 7 dollars. It’s unphantonable that we can buy chips two for a dollar when a granola bar cost 3 dollars. Saying all that I still think it’s crazy that certain groups are lobbying for no sodas, chips, candy or anything fattening on menus are in schools. Life has to be about moderation and sensibility; you can’t have those two traits when it comes to political correctness. It brings out the extremes in people. 

Here’s another example. When a white cop kills a black kid people often bring up, “What about black on black crime?” Now forget their motives for a second, they have a point. We aren’t as outraged when a black man kills another black man and I often here the excuse, “Why bring it up now?” Are Americans not capable of having two or three conversations at the same time? It’s okay to be pissed off and angry about multiple things. 

Political correctness isn’t ruining our country but what it’s doing is highlighting the hypocracy of our country.