Invest In Happiness. Invest In Good Karma. Invest In Yourself

You're important. I know you are!

You’re important. I know you are!

It doesn’t make you a hater or a bad person if someone gets the job you want and you feel like you should have gotten the job. If you went on a date with a woman and she wasn’t feeling you but the next guy she goes on a date with she’s posting about him on Facebook. “It’s great when you meet a man that is who he says he is.” “Had the time of my life tonight.” “When a man smells great you don’t won’t that hug to end.” If you read all that and feel like, “I hope they break up or don’t make it,” that’s okay. All of this is okay because it’s your first reaction. What makes it not okay is if you feel that way tomorrow or the next day. If you delete her page or make salty comments or wish for people’s unhappiness.

I don’t care if you’re a Christian, Atheist, Israeli, Palestinian, an Alien, Buddhist or just someone that has your own set of beliefs and doesn’t exactly know who you are. Karma is a living, breathing part of all of us. Being happy for someone that’s doing well, that’s doing better than you means you’re an adult. We all find happiness at different points in our lives. We all find it for different reasons.

The other day I saw this Instagram post where this really attractive woman posted a picture of a woman that’s not considered as attractive by certain standards. Her caption was, “How does she have a man and I don’t? Look at her.” Of course there were some “lol’s” and “I feel you girl” but they all meant what they were writing. She’s “ugly” so she shouldn’t find love and happiness before me. In what world does that logic make sense? That may actually explain why you’re single. Be happy for people, smile and laugh at the fact that some man saw something in her beyond the physical. Invest in a good spirit and fill that Karma based piggy bank.

I see a couple about to get married, I send my congratulations. I see a teacher decide that her teaching career is over and she wants to pursue other avenues in life; I thank her for her service to our community and wish her the best. A guy I hated in high school has changed, seems to have grown and become a better man. I attribute it to him learning and I want him to be that man for his family. Watching people find happiness is like watching something beautiful.

Life is too short to harbor all that bitterness and jealously. It’s okay to smile and to be kind to people. It’s okay to compliment someone. I’ve never sent a man a social media message about his woman because there’s no point. He knows he has a good one but I’ve ran into guys at places and when they’re significant other came up in conversation, I’ve said, “You have a good one, God looked out for you.” No animosity, no undertones, no shade. Just me letting him know she is a blessing in his life and I hope he realizes it. Being happy for someone and sincere reflects not only you but who you’ll attract.

~ Demez F. White

Capture the Mind; the Heart and Body Will Follow…

521747_661840235885_118401058_31768289_1343921451_nHave you ever had a really good conversation with someone? They call you at 8pm and the next thing you know you yawn and it’s 11pm on a Monday night. You’re looking at that phone thinking, “How in the world did we just talk for 3 hours?” That’s chemistry, that’s a connection, that’s the knock on the door to something so much more. It all starts with the mind, with that mental ability to connect. Next comes the heart, that feeling of fear when it’s raining and you don’t know if she’s made it home okay. That pause before you comment on a Facebook picture of the girl with the big ass knowing she may see it and it may hurt her feelings. That’s you worrying about her heart. And last comes the body, that moment when you touch her and there’s no guilt, no wondering if it’s okay that your hand slides up her thigh. You know because you have her mind and heart and she wants to give you her body just as much as you want to take it.

Most of my writing is based on the premise that when you find someone worth giving up everyone else for you don’t have to think about it. There’s no long days at work wondering if you should go out with Kim or Stacy; there’s no getting good news and scrolling thru your phone wondering who you should share it with. Her name pops up in your brain like a new casino on the Vegas Strip. The great women get in your head and they camp there until you don’t care that she’s complaining or cramping or hates Kobe. When you fall in love with God they say you love the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Well, when you fall in love with a woman, you love the mind, the heart and the body.

I’m just a guy that knows what I want is more than a check list of qualities, it’s a feeling that I’m going to get when I’m around her. There are plenty of really great women that just aren’t for me and I’m sure there’s plenty of guys that are cool as hell that some women just don’t get that “quiver” for. It’s a three step process, you can’t control it, you just have to brace for it when it comes. I write about desire, lust, passion and love because that makes life go.

A woman post a status on Facebook or a Tweet or an Instagram about not wanting to eat dinner alone and she gets several messages or texts from men asking, “What about me?” A man says that he’s lonely or wants a wife; needs someone to talk to or share good news with. There’s several women saying, “Why not me?” What we all have to understand is that we may meet the qualifications that someone says they want, but that doesn’t mean they want us. Sometimes eating alone, having a drink at the bar, cooking a great meal that no one else will taste is better company than having someone there who you just aren’t that into.

Rainy Days and Underrated Love Songs…

I was in my office taking this incredibly long and boring quiz on safety practices. The only thing that helped me keep my sanity was my beloved iPod.

So as I’m finishing up the test and coming outside I notice that the sky is dark and the wind is blowing.

My friend the rain is coming. And that got me to thinking about a couple songs that go well with my mood at the moment.

I’ll only do four considering I should be working anyway.

Neyo ‘Part of the List…’ He gets a lot of slack for having a huge head and being sort of feminine but you can’t knock his ability to write music. Part of the List is a song about all the traits and features he misses about a woman. My favorite part is when he says, ‘I learn something new everyday.’ A mannerism, a toe, a birthmark. The song just works because if you’ve ever been in love or infatuated there really is nothing you don’t notice.

Babyface ‘Everytime I Close My Eyes…’ When I first heard this song I was maybe 16, 17, I thought it was weird that you’d “see a woman everytime you closed your eyes” but the ignorance of our youth lol. Did you know that our minds are actually more active when we sleep? Like 80% more active. So when we dream and think our minds see faces and vibes so clearly. That’s why this song is so deep.
Maroon 5 ‘Never Gonna Leave This Bed…’ This song is a little more upbeat than the others but the emotion and words are no less the same. The song is about a guy that’s so heartbroken he can’t get out of bed. So he’s reminiscing about all the time they spent in bed. Sometimes our bed feels like the safest place on earth.

Chrisette Michelle ‘All I Ever Think About’ and ‘Blame It On Me…’ I’m using two songs for this last one because they’re back to back on her Epiphany album. These are two of the realest songs you’ll ever hear in your life. ‘Blame It On Me’ is a song about a woman that’s so hurt and done and simply wants to move on. She knows it’s not her fault but she doesn’t care. ‘All I Ever Think About’ is self explanatory.

These are some midday ramblings of an author named Mez.

A Letter to Demez…

Dear Demez,

There is a part of you I fear no one will ever know.

There is an emptiness inside of you that I fear will never be filled.

For all of your good qualities there is a part of your soul, your mind, that will never truly feel you deserve the grace God has bestowed upon you.

 

You’ve come too far to walk back but are you willing to walk forward? To open the door and take the risk?

Is there a night, a day, a moment where you don’t wonder if you’ll fall apart and burn into pieces?

When you pour the liquid in the glass and watch it sit there, taunting you, waiting on you… Knowing what it did to your father, what it’s capable of doing to you… When you feel the burn coursing down your throat catching fire in your chest.

 

Why does self-destruction come so natural?  

Why are you willing to sabotage every relationship?

Every friendship?

 

Does she think about you? Probably not…

Will they miss you once the writing stops and the words don’t flow so naturally? Who knows…

Is there a happily ever after in your future? Only if you open your heart to the possibility…

 

The touch of a woman calms you, gives you life in the moment but only in the moment.

The feeling of knowing you made her smile stops with her smile.

The thought of waking up to the humming of the ceiling fan and the chirp of the birds only serves to remind you that you’re waking up alone.

 

I write you this not to remind you of that emptiness, of that hole.

But to give you hope that with all I’ve said you still have a chance at redemption.

A chance to be great in this life and the next.

 

The storm clouds are gathering outside.

The rain is falling.

Your heart is heavy but the storm will pass.

 

I believe in you even when you don’t believe in yourself for you am I and I am you.

Maybe you’ll die on a hotel room in Paris alone with a bottle of scotch and your precious words.

Or maybe you’ll die surrounded by family and friends.

 

Either way just know your fate is in your hands.

 

Sincerely Yours,

Demez F. White