Believe You’re Worth Everything You Desire

  Comfort. 

Comfort is a great word. When I think of comfort I think of a pair of boxers fresh out the dryer after a hot shower, a cold beer, my couch and a good game. For some comfort is a pint of Blue Bell, thick fuzzy socks and stalking their favorite people on Instagram. Comfort can be an amazing thing but it can also be dangerous to growth, success and passion. 

When you become comfortable at a job or in a relationship it’s human nature to take your foot off the gas. It becomes the most logical thing in the world to believe you are we’re you’re supposed to be. That’s where belief has to come in; the belief that you can soar past your station in life. No one can believe in us like we can believe in us. Like we have to believe in us. 

Social media leads so many into a false sense of accomplishment. I’ve had hundreds or likes on a post or hundreds of shares on a blog and it’s a good feeling knowing people follow you but it no where near compare to the feeling of receiving a check. Of having that belief that if I stop giving away my services for free; that people will still buy into me. If you desire greatness in life there’s no formula that allows you to jump the line. Invest in yourself, put time into your talent, support others and network and just work your tail off! 

At the age of 32 there are days where I feel like I haven’t accomplished a thing. Days where my confidence and aggression and sense of hope feel like they’re fading. Then there are days where I see the horizon. I see the progress. I see the company and writing growing and evolving. Either way on either day I’m never losing the belief that I can get where I want to get. I’m never going to doubt that God has a plan for me and that plan includes any struggles and missteps I might endure. 

In every great man or woman’s life there has come a point where they decided the risk was worth the reward. Some sacrificed steady jobs, some the loves of their lives and some their piece of mind. That’s a decision you’ll have to make on your own. 
Demez F. White 

4 Tips Every Aspiring Writer Should Remember

You're important. I know you are!

You’re important. I know you are!

Gone are the days where talent alone gets you a book deal. You can send your manuscript to 40 different publishers and unless it’s a one in a million type of first couple pages then you’ll get tossed in a file cabinet. If you want to make it you have to bring a readership to the table. That means not only writing but investing in your talent and in yourself.

Tip #4

Don’t worry about people stealing your words when you put them online. One of the fears I hear from a lot of aspiring writers is, “If I start a blog or share my writing with Facebook, Instagram or wherever someone might steal it.” There’s a good possibility someone will steal your words or content. I’ve written things on a Monday and saw variations of that content on a Tuesday. You can’t control this, you just have to have confidence that what they write will never be better than the original. The only way we get better as writers is to share our work and grow from criticism. You can’t mature as a writer if you’re not sharing.

Tip #3

Don’t do it for the likes, they mean very little. Social media is fool’s gold, yes, it will help you build a following but those likes are usually coming from the same people. You have to write with three things in mind. Who are you writing to? What is the message you want to send? What do you want to gain from it? Don’t ever be the person that convinces yourself, “I don’t care if anyone likes my writing as long as I like it.” That person never makes it because they can’t accept criticism. Figure out who you want to read your writing and mold it. Give it your spin but mold it to them. That’s not selling out, that’s just good sense.

Tip #2

Know who you want to be and become that person. Once you create an image on social media you have to live with that image. You can’t write about respecting women and then post statuses dogging women. You can’t be a music blogger and then tweet about how there’s no good music. Why? Because you have to be above the pettiness. I often write about dating, it’s because I go on dates. Why would anyone read about dating from a person that admits they don’t go out? Don’t be a hypocrite and sabotage yourself before you even get started. Pick who you want to be and be that person.

Tip #1

Write often. Write as though the words that are on the screen will be the last words you will ever write. There’s no secret to writing, no formula or short cut. You have to invest in words, you have to love words. You have to read. I read a book a week, sometimes they’ll be a book of short stories, sometimes full novels, sometimes self help books, I read. Pick up a book that you’d never pick up and read it. Some of the most talented authors never sell but they did what they loved. Kobe shoots hundreds of free throws a day. Peyton Manning is the first person at practice and the last person to leave. Writing requires the same dedication. Believe in yourself, believe in the words.

If We Grocery Shop Together; We Go Together

Shopping Together

Shopping Together

You want to know what’s just as intimate as kissing or cuddling in boxers while there’s a thunderstorm raging in the background? What you only do with the woman you love because to do it with anyone else would be blah? Grocery shopping.

We can have dinner together, we can walk arm in arm around Memorial Park on a beautiful day or City Centre on a beautiful night but nothing means, “I’m into you,” more than if we grocery shop together. It means I’m buying the food you like, it means I’ll have yogurt when I probably would have just bought Blue Bell. It means I’m going to insist we go on a Saturday so we can eat samples at Sam’s or Specs. It means we’ll argue about what’s better, Honey Nut Cheerios or Frosted Flakes. It means you’ll fuss at me for wanting to buy steak because red meat isn’t good for me. Grocery shopping together means I’m telling you no other woman is going to be opening up my fridge. ‘

Have you ever come home and put food up? Had her chopping up onions or lettuce or tomato’s while you got the meat ready? Drank a beer while she drank wine while music played and no words are needed because it just feels right.

If we grocery shop together; we go together.

If you take off your shoes and bra and soon as you come to my house after work; we go together.

If you don’t ask for it but just go get it. You already know what we are.

I don’t make the rules, I just enjoy them. It’s been years since I made groceries with someone, I have a feeling it’s coming around sooner than I think.

Working Nights

20131012-024951.jpg I want to be successful.

I can’t tell you when it happened, when I started to come to work sick. When I started to work nights and weekends when I really didn’t have to. Writing articles about movies and cologne and political events just to network. At some point it clicked and I realized I like climbing to higher levels.

There’s a downside though. I wonder what’s going to happen when I get serious with someone. Is she going to accept eating dinner alone or sleeping alone or me needing to meet a writing deadline after I’ve been working all day?

Even now, I think about all the women I know. I wonder if any if them are thinking about me. If there’s someone I dated a month ago, a year ago, that masturbates to the moments we shared. If she’s leaving the club and is fighting the urge to text me. If she gets home and checks my Facebook or Instagram?

It’s important to me that I’m thought of, that I’m missed, that I’m desired. I’m at work right now not because I’m getting overtime or to impress my boss. I’m here because I want this road to look good so that I look good. I’m here to build a professional reputation that will make my “her” proud of me.

I know what it’s like to have s father I’m ashamed of. That won’t be my children, they won’t struggle or wonder about me. They won’t see me mistreat their mom or lie on the couch.

Expectations and Life…

385448_213663785373354_118911191515281_532154_1408080341_nThere are often times when I wondered why God hasn’t given me the wife and son I desired so much and then blessings or opportunities happen and I sit back and laugh at my own naivety. He did give me the wife I want, those are my novels and short stories. He has given me the son I craved, those are the scripts that will be on movie screens or television series in the next year or so. Sometimes I’ve been so busy looking for the forest that I didn’t see the trees.

Opportunities don’t fall out of the sky; we create them with hard work, with faith, with support and with our God given abilities! There’s the moments you feel down, the times you feel let down and the times you’ll be beaten down but all of those only lead to feeling that much more redeemed when success happens.

Expectations are a tricky thing, they sort of sneak up on you before you know it. One minute you’re talking about what you want and the next minute you’re living it. I remember when I used to write for Facebook likes and I’m not being funny by the way. I would write a story, tag several people and when someone would like it or comment on it I’d feel like I’d just won the Pulitzer Prize. Those were simpler days…

Now I have all these people that need me to write for them and they need it to be great! They’ve invested business plans, money, time, energy and their all into success and my writing is the last cog in the wheel. They know what they want, now they need my writing to sell it. I adore those expectations but I also fear them. And what I’ve learned is that fear is a great motivating tool, especially the fear of regressing. I’m literally a couple pages away from seeing my name in film credits, in TV credits, you know how cool that feels? But to be this close and it not to happen, that would hurt worse than the worst heartbreak I could imagine. So I’ll make sure the writing is everything it has to be and more!

These past couple of years have taught me that business is just business, there are no friendships or honor in the career I’ve chosen. Because in the end and there will aways be an end, money trumps all. Egos, arrogance, reputation, checks, they break any perceived friendships and I’ve come to accept that.

In my mind, I have accepted the fact that I will be a great writer.

With great expectations comes great responsibility and I will SMASH both!

2010 was the foundation.

2011 was the introduction.

2012 was a lot of lessons.

2013 will be the start of the evolution.