He Tried to Domesticate You; I Just Want to Liberate You

my wifeThere are times I have these nights where I want to be incredibly honest. I think tonight is one of those nights. Look, every man want s a woman he’s proud to call his own. A woman that’s kind and gentle and has qualities that will make her a good wife and a great mother. What we don’t like to admit though is that not every woman is meant to be those things. Some women are just meant to be wild.

Men are jealous by nature, we’re selfish by nature. Even the most understanding of us feel a certain way about other men talking to the women we love. The thing is though, not every woman is meant to be domesticated. Not every woman is meant to be meek. He wants that, he needs that. I can respect that. That isn’t you though. You’re a freak. You like sex in the car, you like biting and scratching and fighting. You need that passion and emotion and those moments when you can run wild without feeling guilty. He can’t see that, I can.

Maybe one day you’ll be ready to settle down and be the woman he wants. I don’t see today being that day.

You’re So Much Better Than You Know…

9447548-fashion-sexy-women-clothes-detailI write from the perspective of a single guy. If I had all the answers to relationships or marriage I’d be in a relationship or married. Pretending like I know it all isn’t something I’m comfortable doing. I often get asked why I’m single and most of the time I give an answer that sounds thoughtful or insightful but the truth is my expectations are crazy high. Like “does she even exist high?” But you know what, I wouldn’t lower them regardless because settling isn’t something that’s in me and it shouldn’t be in you. If you know what you want become a better you and get it!

All Star Weekend is in a couple of days and I read all these articles, blogs and social network post about women selling themselves or men spending their money. And what I think is this… If I had the wealth I’d be the guy flying women into Houston, buying out restaurants and putting my spoiled, arrogant woman in a hundred thousand dollar car. I’m willing to admit what most men won’t, it’s not the women wanting ballers that bother them. It’s not the men that are spending THEIR money that’s bothering them. It’s envy, jealously. Why else would you be worried about other people’s finance’s?

People don’t buy luxury cars because they want to get from point A to point B, you can buy a Honda Accord for that. Men don’t buy 300k townhomes or homes in gated communities for security; you can get a house in the suburbs for that. Men buy these cars with the leather and wood and heated seats for status. They work 21 hours a day to get that 1.2 million dollar home for status. Women are no different… That woman with the coke bottle shape, perfect features, well spoken, 600 dollar hair, nail and grooming bill a month. She isn’t dating a broke guy, she isn’t dating a guy that feels like “my money is my money” and “her money is her money.” You know what women talk like that, the women that hate those women.

Let me give you some advice about women that you don’t have to pay 29.99 for. There are three ways you’re probably going to get a beautiful, top 10% sort of woman. (1) Is you’re just a really attractive guy, charming, cool, God blessed you when it came to genes. (2) You’re successful, ambitious; you make good money, want to be great in life. Women love security and drive. (3) Talent, it’s why broke musicians, writers and artist can have the baddest chick in the room. Women love talent. When is the last time you saw a mediocre man that was moderately attractive and made 30k a year with a star?

It’s no different with women, there are not that many level headed, cool guys running around. This is strictly Demez talking… I work 10 hours a day building highways, a spend another 8 writing, building my brand or flirting. Do you think I want to spend my time with a woman that’s not like the women I write about?

That guy that’s sitting at his computer or on his phone ranting about how much of a bopper or gold-digger she is; he’s looking at his out of shape, boring girlfriend or wife sad as hell that the woman he’s investing so much time complaining about will never so much as look his way. That woman that thinks the guy spending money on this beautiful woman is stupid is looking at her mediocre man crying inside that she will never know what it’s like to be spoiled and pampered. Successful people invest their time in being great, not in what others are doing.

Instead of resenting them living their life, be better than what you are. Live up to your potential and get that woman that loves matching bras and panties, that knows the difference between workout tights, casual tights and formal tights. The one that turns heads when she walks into a room and owns that shit.

Don’t be mad at the woman that has guys lined up to take her out, to show her that they’re worthy of her time. I guarantee you for as pretty as she is, she goes to the gym, she eats right, she knows the difference between flirting and being easy. Men love that: become a better woman and watch your stock rise.

Look, this isn’t me knocking people that have settled for whatever in life. This is me saying it’s never too late to be a better you! It’s never too late to get a second income, to work out, to love yourself more than you do.

There is never an excuse for a woman to take care of a healthy, able man. You’re better than that! I promise you if you set the standard and the expectations he will listen and if he doesn’t listen he’s not worth it.

Someone That I Used To Know

“Happy Thanksgiving.”

Those may only seem like two words but when they come from someone you were intimate with, someone you talked to all the time. Someone you shared fears and dreams with, those two words are so much more. A blast text that was probably sent to a hundred people makes you simply, “someone that I used to know.”

You think about what she’s cooking, how she probably stayed up all night to make sure it was perfect. You think about what she’s wearing and how it’s going to be sexy enough to frame her curves but classy enough because she’s around family.

“Happy Thanksgiving.”

It’s two words that are supposed to mean, “Have a good day,” or “eat plenty of turkey and dressing.” But instead those two words mean, “You’re just someone I used to know.”

You wonder who she’s calling to talk about how excited she is about Black Friday sales. You wonder who she has tasting the food to make sure it’s good. You wonder who stayed up with her while she was cooking because even though she hates to admit it; she hates being alone during the Holidays.

When the BlackBerry lights up and you see it’s a text from her you wonder if she’s asking you about your family or wanting to bring you a plate. You wonder if she wanted to know whether or not you miss her. But instead all you see is, “Happy Thanksgiving.”

Memories fade over time.

Romantic moments become pictures in a Facebook album or in a closet in a box.

Texts are deleted and the heart opens up to someone else.

But a couple times a year, there will always be the “Happy Thanksgiving” text of the world that remind you that on this day you’re alone. The only thing keeping you company is your words, your imagination, your memories and your bottle.

Because for as much as family loves you, the only substitute for a woman’s touch is another woman’s touch.

I’ve Been Thinking About Forever…

Dear You,

I haven’t been feeling well these past couple days, I didn’t even get out the bed until noon today. I’m about to go outside and do some yard work to try and shake off this cold or flu or just loneliness. But before I did that I wanted to write to you and just let you know I miss you.

I went and saw Twilight and the new James Bond over the weekend, I couldn’t help but think how much cooler it would have been with you. I actually wore sweat pants and Jordans, can you believe that? I was getting clothes ready and then it hit me… I’m going to the movies alone at 11am on a Saturday, there’s no need to get extra fly. I was sitting outside the theatre waiting for the movie the start and I could see you sitting across from me, smiling, sneaking candy out of your purse. Talking about people walking by but not being too mean about it.

Sitting in the movies, seeing other couples, it hurt.

If I could go back and do it again God knows I would do it over, I would do it differently. You’d be proud to know I’m not drinking as much anymore and I’m back to writing every day. I’ve started back cooking too, I sort of gave it up for awhile.

You could never really understand how much I miss you because I don’t think you were ever really for me. I think you were God’s way of giving me a preview of what I wanted, of what I needed. I just hope you’re happy.

Honestly, I can spend the rest of my life in the state of mind I’m in if it means you’re smiling. That’s the sacrifice I’m willing to make. I wouldn’t call it a deal with the devil but I would call it my way of repenting for hurting you.

Out of all the women I’ve known in my these 29.8 years of my life I can honestly say you’re the only one that has ever moved me without a kiss, a touch, any of that. It was never about that. It was about your passion for doing what you loved, it was about how you were the most beautiful woman in the room and never used it to your advantage. It was about how your faith and morals were more important than commercial success. I don’t know the guy and I’ll probably never get to know him but I just hope to God he knows what he has in you.

I go days, weeks, months without looking at your picture.

I haven’t thought about texting you or calling you for even longer stretches of time.

But just know you’re never too far from my thoughts. I’m far too prideful to make a fool of myself but just know I miss you. The little time I had with you impacted me and for that I’m grateful.


Sincerely Yours,