49 Years Ago Today…

black history ~ July 2, 1964 – U.S. President Johnson signed the “Civil Rights Act of 1964” into law banning discrimination against others because of their race.

People love to complain that black people as a race need to move on, need to let go of bitterness and excuses from slavery, reconstruction, Jim Crow and criminal and financial slights that have occurred for the past 200 years. How do you rebound from all of that injustice and ignorance in 49 years? Sure, a few will rise and prosper but it takes generations, not decades to change the fortunes of a race.

Last week the Civil Rights Act of 1964 was butchered. I’ll give you all the cliff notes version; they basically said that people have to have a State ID to vote. Now understand this, the reason why voter turnout is so high is because you can vote using a Voter ID. There are a lot of people that don’t have drivers licenses or State ID’s. Older people, college students, people that lost their license for some reason.

They also passed law that for all intent and purpose will cut affirmative action. Why do we need it a lot of people say? We need it because we have to keep the haves honest. 80% of the University of Texas is white, that means 20% is split between every other race you can imagine. Do you think the people at UT will add more minorities or accept less if they don’t have affirmative action hanging over their head?

I respect hard work, I respect people’s ability to create their own way and be great but understand this… Life isn’t fair and sometimes we need a little help making it just a little more fair.

Men Don’t Heal; They Whore

521747_661840235885_118401058_31768289_1343921451_n Men are stubborn.

Men are prideful.

Men are damn near as emotional as women if not more.

What’s the difference? The difference is we aren’t allowed to be those things to the world. I can’t go to work around a bunch of men and tell them how much I miss her. I can’t get on FB and tell the world my house no longer feels like a home since her perfume is no longer on my pillow. So what outlet do I have? I could write more, I could exercise, I could work longer hours. But all of those things combined wouldn’t take my mind off the hurt, the pain I feel.

The burning in my stomach when I see her post a FB status that I know isn’t about me. The tension I feel in my neck when my phone vibrates and it’s not her number that I deleted but know by heart.

So what is my only option? The option that will lead me out of the wilderness and back to civilization? That option is replacing her because if I can’t have her I’ll have someone. And if that one woman doesn’t compare to her, there’s another and then another and then….. another.

Whoring isn’t just me running around sticking my pipe in anything that’s wearing a pretty pencil skirt and has nice teeth. Whoring with women’s brains is just as critical as whoring with what’s between their legs. Telling every woman that I meet what she wants to hear just so I won’t be alone.

Sure, there are men that are so hurt they want to fuck the best friend and the sister, they want to add every girl she’s ever talked shit about so that she can see he doesn’t need her. There are those men and those men are hoeing because they want her to feel the same hurt. They want her to call and curse him out, to yell and scream and threaten because at least she’s calling.
Men whore when we get hurt because to be hurt is like having a rabbit dog eat out your insides and you’re hands are tied behind your back.

Men whore when we get hurt because we need to know that not every woman feels like she did.

And more than anything men whore because it’s better than facing the truth, the truth that things could be so much more different if only I would have been different. The regret and fear that she’ll never want you again only pushes you into another woman’s arms.

Why do you think men are in relationships for years with good women and a week later they’re with the biggest bopper they can find? It’s because being with this woman that does nothing for your growth helps you to ignore the fact that the woman that did everything for your grown is probably a lot happier with you out of her life.

I miss Ash, Kor, Lo, De F. Baby, Melanie, Ariel… I honestly thought I would marry each one at the time I knew them and more than that I thought I would die when I wasn’t talking to them anymore. So I made new friends, flirted with new women and faked it until I made it.

My hurt was so vicious that the only thing that calmed it was other women. Their voice, their faith, their willingness to open up to me. I’ve never been the guy that meets a woman at a club and goes home with her the same night. My strength is getting in a mind and making love to every inch of those brain cells. That’s how I do my whoring when I need healing.
Most of us grow out of it but just know this. Men hoe not to be asshole or to hurt you. We hoe because we miss the hell out of you and our pride won’t allow us to share that pain with the world. Have you ever cut yourself or cracked a bone? There is so much pain before we heal. So much hurt. Men hate that feeling and we want more than anything to skip that feeling.

Men cry in the dark.

Men drink the nightmares away.

Men hoe because in the absence of our perfect woman all we want to the best substitute for you we can find. Most of us will get out of this and end up being better men because of it but just have patience.

She Could Do It Alone but I’d Never Allow Her To

Dope Instagram PicSitting at this computer, taking a break from work and a thought crossed my mind. I’m listening to a couple of mixtapes and all most of them are talking about is the negatives of relationships. As a man all any of us can hope for is that we can give the woman in our life the option of whether she wants to work or not.

Do we live in a world where two incomes are almost necessary? Of course we do but that doesn’t mean as a man you can’t supplement what she brings to the table.

I’m doing well enough in life at the moment but I’m not doing well enough to take care of another adult. But what I can do is pay a light bill here, a phone bill there, get a car washed or the oil changed. I’m a logical man, I realize my limitations so for me it’s easy to sit someone down and say, “This is what I can do and this is why I’m doing it; I love the fact you’re capable of doing this own your own but what sort of man would I be if I let you do it on your own? You don’t have to do it by yourself babe. We were blessed with each other to look out for each other.”

Look, let’s be honest, most women are more than willing to follow if they encounter a man that’s worth following. Words get you in the door but actions are what changes lives and perceptions. It’s easy to impress a woman that’s never had anything, you can give her a tank of gas and that’s more than the last three guys she dated did combined. But if you want to make the earth move, be a man of your word and set expectations that you know you can meet.

Whoever said it’s not tricking if you have it… Is a trick. It’s still tricking if you have it, it’s not tricking if you have her. Then it becomes spoiling and spoiling is perfectly healthy. You know why we don’t spoil children? Because we deprive them of learning basic etiquette and human decency. But it’s okay to spoil a grown woman because she’s already who she is. Going to fill up her car on a Sunday night before the work week starts. Buying her a couple of Subway and Starbucks gift cards so she doesn’t have to swipe that debit card. These are things that will give her pause when men try to get at her and believe me… If she’s fine, men will come. And any guy that thinks he has his woman on lock is a fool. You never stop spoiling or setting high standards because there will always be someone wanting what you have.

For me… I take pride in being the man I am. Can it scare some women to know that my expectations are really high and I love really hard, sure. But if that scares them, they were probably never for me anyway. And that’s how I’ve always approached life because you can say I’m a jerk at times, you can say I’m mean or arrogant. But what no woman will ever say about me is that I’m selfish or a user. Anything she can do for herself, I can do for her. And I’m more than happy to do for her.

I’d never want a woman in my life that needed me for financial reasons because even when or if she fell out of love with me she’s not going to go anywhere. I want her to be able to do it for herself and when I come alone we build on what we have together. Double those payments and pay off her student loans, double the payments and pay off a bill of mines. Working together to make each other better because she could do it on her own but why in the hell would I let her pretty ass do that? This is the picture I see in my mind when I think about my future “her.”