Faith, Family and Words

a holiday The bible is just a book of words to me. I do believe that there are life lessons to be taught and words that can inspire us but it was a book written by man translated time after time over centuries. For me faith is much more important, believing that God is real and that he watches over us and that believing in not just him but in seeing the best in people.

For me faith is walking and talking and trying to be the best man possible for my family, my readers and my future wife. Faith is knowing I’ll fall short, knowing I’ll do things that I’m not proud of but that no matter how far I fall I’m never beyond God’s outstretched hand.

My faith is what sustained me when I had to bury my grandfather. My faith is what keeps me strong when I watch my grandmother crying. Faith tells me that no matter what I want to happen or what I think is going to happen God has a plan for me and he’s simply waiting on me to become the man I’m supposed to be before he blesses me with what I desire.

Family. That word gets thrown around a lot but family isn’t blood. Family represents the people that are there for you when you need them. Family represents the people that you love unconditionally no matter what they do or say or how mad you get. Yes, family is cousins and uncles and mothers and fathers but more than anything our family starts when we are married and have children. That’s the way I look at it. I’ve never felt so alone in my life. My grandfather was the glue and without him I see the family I knew as a child fracturing. So now it’s time I start my own.

A wife is more than a lover, then a mother, then a best friend. A wife is the second part of life. I’m aware that people read my writing and feel like I may be exaggerating but I don’t care. I don’t care because I mean everything I write. It would be easy to stick to writing about sex and why good women are single. That stuff gets the highest views but I need to be sincere and sincerity lies in me being upfront with the fact that I’m going to put a lot of weight on the woman I take vows with. They’ll be times where I need her way more than she needs me and that scares me. It scares me to know someone will have that much power over me. It’s a scary that I can accept because it means I trust and love a person enough to share a home, children, memories and uninhibited passion with them.

Honestly, I’ve never been comfortable asking anyone for help. If my truck stopped and I didn’t have a dime to my name I’d struggle to call someone. I can’t tell you why that is but I can tell you that I wouldn’t be uncomfortable or struggling to call my wife or even a girlfriend.

Words are my babies. I write them for pleasure, I write them for fun, I write them for work and everything in between. I take joy in writing emails and text messages and letters. Demez F. White was born to be a writer and I know that with all my heart. Maybe that’s why I’m so used to solitude because when you write as much as I do you spend so much time alone with your thoughts. Words define me just as much as my faith does and just as much as my family will.

If You Dont Love Yourself; Who Will?

So I’m going to leave the sexy stuff alone for today, I want to talk about something else. Something that’s just as important if not more important than being sexually fulfilled. What is that you ask?

I want to talk about loving yourself, it’s a phrase that most of us take for granted, including myself. I mean, who doesn’t love themselves is what most of you are saying but I want you to take two and a half seconds and think about it.

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Okay, stop thinking and read!

Every single person that is reading my words right now, you want to know a secret? Look at the screen very carefully.

YOU ARE SPECIAL! GOD CREATED YOU FOR A PURPOSE AND THAT PURPOSE WAS NOT TO BE SAD OR USED OR ABUSED OR PLAYED! YOU ARE A MIRACLE AND YOUR LIFE IS TO BE CHERISHED AND FRUITFUL AND PRODUCTIVE!

I’m not bible scholar but I did grow up in the church and one of my favorite scriptures is, “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.” There will always be people that are just negative, I don’t think they’re haters or mean spirited; I just think somewhere in their lives they were hurt to the point of no return. So when they see you trying to climb out of a hole, they don’t know how to reach down and help you… They only know how to walk away or tell you why you should stay in the hole.

LIFE CAN BE HARD! IT CAN BE STRESSFUL! IT CAN MAKE YOU CRY!

But there’s always redemption if you love yourself because you know that you have YOUR best interest at heart!

Part of loving yourself is knowing who you can and can’t be around, knowing who’s negative just because and who’s giving you constructive criticism. Words are my babies so I know the power they have, the power they have to cut, to burn, to choke! You can’t love yourself if you surround yourself with negativity. It’s like trying to stay dry with no umbrella in a rainstorm.

WE’RE ALL BEAUTIFUL TO SOMEONE!

WE’RE ALL ADORED BY SOMEONE!

WE’RE ALL LOVED BY SOMEONE!

I have met women that were perfect for me in the physical sense but horrible for me in the spiritual and emotional sense. I’ve had friends that were my dogs, ride or die but they were not the sort of men I wanted to be Godparents to my children. In learning to love myself I had to learn to accept that not everyone is meant to be in my circle, not everyone is meant to partake in the love I have for myself and for them.

DON’T EVER FORGET THAT THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN YOUR LIFE IS YOU! MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR MATE, YOUR CHILD, YOUR PARENTS! WHY…

Because if you’re not happy, it’s going to be hard as hell to make the people around you happy.

It’s sounds amazingly romantic to say, “I’m losing myself in love.” But when you make that decision to lose yourself in someone, you’re making a decision to lose your identity. To sacrifice the natural love you have for yourself and project all of you on someone else. I’m not saying you shouldn’t give your all but what I am saying is, don’t forgot that the only way you can love anyone is to love yourself.

So tonight…

SMILE!

TREAT YOURSELF TO A CUPCAKE, A DRINK, DINNER!

We’re human, we’re not meant to be alone but we’re also not meant to give up and settle. Life is too short not to know how special you are.

My name is Demez F. White and I believe in you. I believe that you have the ability to do whatever you want in this life if you’re willing to work at it.

Enjoy this beautiful Sunday night and I hope each and everyone of you have a great Monday morning!