Stop Waiting Until You’re the Best Version of Yourself Before You Let Someone Love You

thumbnail_img_2527 Yesterday I saw a lot of people that weren’t feeling Valentine’s Day. I’m not here to jump inside the minds of these people but I do know a lot of them didn’t seem very happy. Some were bitter, some were down right mean and a lot were genuinely sad. The ones that stuck out to me the most were the ones that want all of us to know they’re waiting on themselves. “What’s the matter with me building myself up and finding myself before I find love?”

I feel like being transparent today. The sort of honesty that’s uncomfortable but necessary at times. I think it’s bulls*it when I hear guys say, “I’m not trying to be in a relationship or date or take any women serious because I’m trying to get myself together first.” I think that’s bullsh*t because I was once that guy and the logic makes no sense. Think about it, women make us better, they always have. If you’re working and trying and you meet an amazing woman. Are you letting her go because you’re making salary instead of owning your own business? She’s probably the piece of the puzzle that’s going to get you your own business.

I can’t take any man seriously that’s afraid to love a woman. That’s afraid to be vulnerable, that’s afraid to take a chance on what could be the most amazing experience of your life. I see these guys that pretend they aren’t ready for anything serious because they simply want to be better prepared for their “future wife.” That would be noble if you weren’t sleeping with women, lying to women, leading women on. You can’t pretend to be this man of principle when you’re a whole man thot out here. It takes courage to stop looking for notches and options and to start investing in a dope ass woman.

Anything I write, I write from a place of experience. It’s not a good feeling knowing that there are women out there that really liked me and I was an ain’t sh*t dude to them. It’s not a good feeling having an amazing woman ride for me and people remind her of my past. These are things I have to live with and part of my journey is learning to forgive myself and being honest in my writing. It’s not okay to ignore love because you think you may find better or you want to go play. Grow up and when you have someone that makes your heart flutter and wants the best for you, take her hand and take that journey. Maybe it doesn’t work but you tried and you loved and you’ll crave that feeling again.

Yesterday was my two year anniversary and she’s pushed me in ways I didn’t know I could be pushed. That doesn’t mean there weren’t times where I thought I would lose my mind but that does mean there has never been a time where I questioned whether or not she had my back. I’m a better man not just because I’m older or wiser but because I’m in a relationship that matters.

Relationships matter.

I Want to Catch You Everytime You Fall- Love Letter #14

2015/01/img_0629.jpgDear Future Wife,

On this Valentine’s eve I just want to say good morning, I know it’s early but I couldn’t really sleep last night. I’ve read so much about Valentine’s Day this week and about whether or not it’s relevant to a relationships interest. I can’t speak for anyone but myself but I love the idea of celebrating love. I love the idea of celebrating anything.

This is the thing, I’m the sort of man that takes pride in making my woman fall every chance I get. You get a two dollar raise at work and call me at lunch, we’re going to dinner that night. You get an A on a test I know you’ve been studying hard for, I’m buying you a cupcake with a candle just so you can make a wish that you make an A on the next test. Love isn’t perfect and it’s unique to every situation but one thing that love is; love cares more about us than it does them. Maybe Valentine’s Day is commercial and exploits the loneliest of us. I can see that but maybe it also brings out the lover in the best of us.

I will stumble and fall, I’m still learning to love, still learning to be the man I know I can be. The same way I’m willing to catch you when you fall and give you the world is the same way I’d hope you never give up on me. I have no desire to say goodbye. No desire to pretend that I’m this cool guy that doesn’t care or is excited at the thought of not spending any money on February 14, 2015. I’d rather be spending tonight watching scary movies, grocery shopping so we can eat a dinner we prepared together and wake up seeing your face. A day to celebrate love, I’m here for that.

There’s no desire in me to try and convince anyone that they should buy flowers and candles and cuddle naked eating candy. No, that’s on each individual relationship. All I’d like for you to know is that when our day comes, when you and I are best friends and nothing or no one else matters in those moments we’re laughing and looking into each other’s eyes just know days like today and tomorrow when you’re not here are going to make me appreciate you that much more.

Love Always and Forever,

Demez

Will You Be My Valentine’s?

You know you want to!

You know you want to!

Dear Valentine’s,

I hope you’re somewhere enjoying this cold rainy day. Sitting at your desk or lying on a couch at home. Maybe you’re looking at the clock hoping it let’s up before you leave.

I don’t know who you are just yet but I feel like talking to you. I love rain, I don’t really look at gloomy days in a bad way. To be honest if I didn’t think it would mess up your hair I wouldn’t care if it rained on Valentine’s Day.

For me Valentines is sort of the perfect day. I like everything from the candy to the flowers to the crowded restaurants. People watching the other couples and us having our own personal inside jokes.

You should know something about me. About the man I am, I notice every detail, every piece of clothing, every nail. Women are art to me and I’m aware of how cheesy that sounds but I don’t know of anything in this world that motivates me to write more.

Knowing that you’ll be in the perfect dress, with the perfect shoes with that perfect smile has me excited and I haven’t even asked you yet. I need to have a great night because I need you to have a great night.

Last year I ended Valentines Day in a hotel room drunk and angry at the world. I have no desire to end my night like that again. I could care less about sex or Hennessy or shots. I just want us to make a memory. My birthday was last week and I spent it with family but that night I was alone, the only thing that gave me comfort was knowing I may not spend Friday night alone.

I’ve spent the past year of my life writing my way to success! Writing my way to making my name matter! I started that journey the day after I almost lost my will. Sitting at that hotel bar wondering where she was. I never wanted that feeling again. So I started writing and I didn’t stop until my novel was perfect, I haven’t stopped until this blog was perfect!

So February 14th 2014 I want to take your hand and I want to spend the rest of this year enjoying life; not battling demons. If it doesn’t happen I won’t get discouraged because I know Valentine’s isn’t the end, it’s the beginning.

So… Will you be my Valentines?

5 Reasons Valentines Day Is Worth It

I’m aware that a lot of people could care less about Valentines Day but these notes are obviously not for you 🙂
We all have different things and dates that mean something to us. Valentines is one of those days to me.

1. The atmosphere. Seeing packed flower shops, delivery men and women everywhere, liquor stores all out of wine. The tents set up outside of grocery stores. The chocolate strawberry stations at HEB. It reminds me of a romantic comedy. Katherine Heigel and Jude Law type vibes all over the city.

2. Sex Appeal. It’s no secret that I love everything about women. From dimples to the way thighs look in jeans or tights. I’m a fan of nice skin and lip gloss. But mostly it’s all about that raw sexual energy that’s living and breathing on Valentines Day. The red panties, the flirty cards, the idea that everyone is thinking the same thing for at least one day.

3. Rendezvous. Leaving work early to meet at a random hotel. Having shots at noon in a booth in the back. People watching other couples do the same thing. Kisses on the side of a car, hands roaming in a parking garage. Or maybe it’s a first date and not sexual at all. Just an early dinner with her glowing because she’s excited. The conversation and day setting the tone for future nights.

4. Memories. Pictures, date associations, videos. Days like V-Day and Christmas Eve and My Birthday are everything to me because of the memories that come with them. These past couple years haven’t always turned out how I wanted so each year is a chance to create new ones.

5. Love. The most annoying thing in the world to me is when I hear people say ‘You should be romantic everyday of the year.’ Who says you aren’t because you appreciate a day dedicated to love. I not only ove the idea of love but I’m a lover in every sense of the word. I fall for people hard and fast and dedicate books and smiles to them. I like smiley faces and cute pics. Women that enjoy being happy or friendly. That’s what V Day is about to me.

Will You Be My Valentine?

Dear Valentines,

I hope you’re somewhere enjoying this rain. Sitting at your desk or lying on a couch at home. Maybe you’re looking at the clock hoping it let’s up before you leave.

I don’t know who you are just yet but I feel like talking to you. I love rain, I don’t really look at gloomy days in a bad way. To be honest if I didn’t think it would mess up your hair I wouldn’t care if it rained on Valentines Day.

For me Valentines is sort of the perfect day. I like everything from the candy to the flowers to the crowded restaurants. People watching the other couples and us having our own personal inside jokes.

You should know something about me. About the man I am, I notice every detail, every piece of clothing, every nail. Women are art to me and I’m aware of how cheesy that sounds but I don’t know of anything in this world that motivates me to write more.

Knowing that you’ll be in the perfect dress, with the perfect shoes with that perfect smile has me excited and I haven’t even asked you yet. I need to have a great night because I need you to have a great night.

Last year I ended Valentines Day in a hotel room drunk and angry at the world. I have no desire to end my night like that again. I could care less about sex or Hennessy or shots. I just want us to make a memory. My birthday is next Sunday? Can you believe that?

I’ve spent the past year of my life writing my way to success! Writing my way to making my name matter! I started that journey the day after I almost lost my will. Sitting at that hotel bar wondering where she was. I never wanted that feeling again. So I started writing and I didn’t stop until my novel was perfect!

So February 14th 2012 I want to take your hand and I want to spend the rest of this year enjoying life; not battling demons.

So… Will you be my Valentines?