Why Are We So Quick to Demonize Black Women? Why Are Black Men So Silent? The Korryn Gaines Story

korryn You know what I’ve noticed these past couple months, with almost 100% certainty if I say anything praising or defending black women I will get a get a man that disagrees with me. He’ll say something like, “You’re pandering to them” or “You’re just telling them what they want to hear.” I’m often confused because most of my statements aren’t the kind of statements that cause friction but none the less these guys come at me guns blazing.

I know four things about the Korryn Gaines story.

1. She has a 20 minute video where she was pulled over and it doesn’t make her look good. People have seen that video and decided she deserves whatever happened to her.

2. The police lied about getting the key from the super and kicked in her door. They shot first when she was holding a child.

3. In Houston about a month ago the police were shot at and after an 8 hour standoff things ended peacefully. In Norfolk, Virginia there was a 7 hour standoff with a gunman and police and things ended peacefully. But after 6 hours the police that accidently broke a guy’s spine decided this woman was a threat.

4. A woman that lived on social media has all her social media deleted right after she’s gunned down?

I’m a smart enough man to know two things. The first is I’m not going to sit on this computer and condemn police for a murdering a black woman when I don’t know what happened in that apartment. The second is I’m not going to condemn a black woman for provoking police when they kicked in her door over parking tickets. I have a ticket for an expired inspection sticker, should I expect a SWAT team to kick in my door, shoot my dog, pull my girl half naked into the front yard and handcuff me? That’s what we’re doing over parking tickets? We get so caught up into wanting to make people victims or heroes that we tend to forget most of these violent encounters start over the smallest things. Parking tickets? Selling CD’s? Selling DVD’s? A broken taillight? When does common sense overtake the need to be right?

“Korryn Gaines used her son as a shield?” “Korryn Gaines should have never had a gun?” Even though she was in her own home. Korryn Gaines wanted to fight with the police even though they kicked her door in. Do I believe black men need to stand up and scream Black Lives Matter and get angry over Korryn? No, not at all, but I do believe that we should just accept she was in the wrong and move on? When police shoot someone they often lie about the circumstances, especially when there’s no video. This is a fact. So why are we so quick to throw this woman away?

People will accuse me of pandering to women for saying what I’m about to say but I know it’s the truth. Had that been an attractive black man in a room protecting his cute son with a shotgun from officers that kicked in his door over parking tickets black women all over this country would be shouting his name! Black men would be posting Malcolm X quotes and talking about how he went out protecting his family! We would give him not only the benefit of the doubt but even if he was in the wrong we’d make him a legend. Not only are people not waiting for the facts to come out but they are calling this woman everything from a fool to a coward to a crazy person. I don’t need anyone to answer me but I’ll ask anyway. If the roles were reversed would black women be this silent for us?

Dear America: Don’t Judge Us By the Worst of Us

Dear America,

Don’t judge me by the worst of my race and I won’t judge you by the worst of yours.

Who am I? I’m a black man that’s a stereotype, that’s a statistic. I grew up with a father that had a lot of kids he didn’t bother getting to know. I grew up in a neighborhood with gangs and drugs and a school district that had low test scores. Who am I? I’m a man that has refused to let any of that define me.

Often times when social issues come up other races and even some black people believe we take up for anyone regardless of their crime. That’s foolish and just not true.

My grandmother is 73 years old. She lives alone. If a 19 year old black kid breaks into her home and harms her are I or anyone I know going to cry for him? Are we going to wear t-shirts or say the police were too rough? No. Every circumstance is different and what is igniting these fires is the extreme nature of these cases. Not officers doing their jobs.

What if I judged every white person I met off of the comments I read on a Fox News post? What if I judged every white person I met off the pictures of that little girl going into a school and adults spitting at her and cursing her? What if I judged all of you based on a man choking another to death while he’s not fighting back? So don’t throw statistics about black crime at me. Don’t compare civil unrest to gang banging, criminals, thugs. You don’t judge me by the worst of my generation and I won’t judge you by the worst of yours.

We all have a decision to make. Stand up for what’s right or live your life as a coward.

Sincerely Yours,

Demez F. White

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Hell on Earth: The Revolution II

Everyone else was sweating, quiet, but sweating. She could see their chest beating up and down, she knew their heart rates were probably through the roof. Some of them were in faded military uniforms, others were in old street clothes, there was no standard look. This was war and war wasn’t pretty. They all looked from the enemy to her, from the enemy to her, waiting on her command.

Hearts beating, palms sweating, she laughed. It was a quiet laugh but it was contagious. They all looked at her like she was crazy before they started to laugh. Her heart didn’t beat fast anymore when it was time to attack. She couldn’t remember the last time her palms sweated.

War

War

They took her world. They took her child, her mother, her life. For her killing them was peaceful, it was art derived from pain. Most of them were sleeping, they looked like children, teenagers but that was the enemy’s plan. Who would attack children? Their red eyes gave them away though.

Aliens weren’t little green men or big Godzilla like monsters; the aliens that took out half the population shared their DNA. It turns out there were two earths and theirs was older, more polluted and more vicious. For them this war wasn’t about land or resources it was about power. Attack us before we had the capability to attack them.

“Don’t waste bullets. Don’t fear death! If you get close enough use your claws! Rip their fuc%ing hearts out and make them regret they ever stepped foot here! I’m hungry, I’m thirsty, hungry for revenge and thirsty for their blood! Follow me and reclaim what is ours! Follow me and die a legend or live a REVOLUTIONARY!!!” Putting her guns in the should holster and putting on her claws she looked each of them in the eye and jumped into the enemy camp screaming, hoping more would come out so more would die!

The revolution is now!

My Conflict With America and Myself: A History We Can’t Ignore

a flag I was driving on US 59 and Fannin yesterday when I saw a billboard about celebrating the revolutionaries. You know the names, George Washington, Ben Franklin, these great men that liberated America from the British and started maybe the greatest country the world has ever seen. In that moment of thinking about how I couldn’t wait to go to the Museum of Fine Arts because I love history I felt a great sense of sadness. Sadness because I was excited to go read about and view the history of men that enslaved my ancestors.

Imagine that for a second. Africans and Europeans and countries and civilizations all over the world took part in slavery for centuries but only in America, this land of the free and the brave did that take it to such a level that even other countries said, “What the hell?!”

George Washington, the first President of our great nation owned slaves. Thomas Jefferson had more little mixed kids than any pro athlete or rapper we could think of. We romanticize these men and celebrate them in history books and museums when they looked at us as property. They would have rather saw us enslaved than free us to help them fight the British and they’re my heroes?

It’s no secret that if Abraham Lincoln could have kept the country from going to war he would have let the South keep slavery. Even to men in the north that thought slavery was uncouth they mostly felt that way because of money. Southerners were getting rich off free labor and the north couldn’t compete.

I don’t want to make this about just African Americans and all we endured. Let’s talk about our beloved America. I won’t ignore the 400 years of slavery and the Reconstruction period and the Civil Rights Period and the Regan Crack Laws that decimated my father’s generation. I’ll table that for now. America had Chinese people build the railroads, after they built the railroads they were put in concentration camps. Millions died trying to connect the east coast to the west coast. America literally wiped out Native Americans, Google the “Trail of Tears,” there was no room for savages they said. America took Manifest Destiny and wiped out all of what is now Southern and Western America. We look at the Alamo as Americans standing up to the big bad Mexicans when in fact it was us taking their land and their homes. I could go on and on but understand my conflict, I still love this country that has done so much wrong to so many people. I still feel like I couldn’t have the life I have if I didn’t live here. That bothers me and I wish I could explain the nights I sit up and try to imagine what my ancestors had to go through.

Racism still exist, classism is only getting bigger. The food we eat is damn near poison, the prices we pay are 400 times what they cost to make it. Nothing has changed with this country I love but the packaging. That’s what hurts me most of all.

Stand for Something or Fall for Anything

black historyThis past couple of days has shown me a lot about some people. I find it disheartening when I see so many that simply don’t care. I’m not asking that you become a freedom fighter or boycott or march for peace. I’m not asking that you start to care about social issues or care about people that aren’t as fortunate as you. What I can’t understand though is how you don’t care about this Trayvon Martin issue? It touches at the soul of ignorance, racism and privilege.

I watched a juror on National Television say in front of the whole world that she felt sorry for “George,” that she could relate at the pain and suffering he went thru because of what happened to “that boy.” I watched person after person that doesn’t look like me say that a sidewalk was a weapon. I watched person after person say that it was both their faults.

You want to know why I’m not mad at these people walking on freeways or blacking out their pictures or being angry? I’m not mad at them because I’ve watched person after person say that this could have all been avoided of Trayvon would have just ran or told Zimmerman what he was doing walking at 7pm. Do you want to know what would have happened if Trayvon would have ran, he would have gotten shot in the back. Do you want to know what would have happened if Trayvon would have killed that man or really hurt him; he would be in prison at this very moment.

So we’re on the same page, I wasn’t even upset on Saturday night. When I heard the verdict my logic was a jury heard the case and voted what they thought was right. Over these last three days though, hearing the background of the jurors, their mindset. Hearing the attorneys and Zimmerman’s family, seeing the ignorance on social media, now it means so much more to me.

How can you only care about yourself, how can you only want to post pics and talk about your haters?

Those that know better do better!

Those that don’t, well… They end up running this same damn rat race.

Demez F. White

You Can’t Leave…

“I don’t want to be here anymore.”

“What are you talking about?”

Standing at the doorway of the kitchen, the food smelling delicious, her favorite wine chilling in the bucket I got her for her birthday I knew I couldn’t put it off any longer. She’d cheated on me and instead 1346787497ghr4k5of walking away I cheated on her. We fought, screamed, cursed, stopped talking but some kind of way we found our way back to each other. For months I’ve been pretending that I didn’t see his face every time I kissed her, that I didn’t think about whether or not she put her lips around his dick. Nights I didn’t answer or return a text fast enough I could hear the worry, the anger in her voicemails. Our trust was dead and I wasn’t happy.

“We’re strangers, there wasn’t a night we didn’t spend in each other’s bed and now either I’m going home or you’re going home every night. The other night you asked me to put on a condom. We go days without talking… that’s not us. We broke something good and I don’t think we can fix it.”

She looked at the dining room table that was perfectly made up blew out the candles, then she swept everything to the floor. The crash made me jump but I didn’t take my eyes from hers.

“It’s just going to take time, that’s all, I’m not worth the time to make this work!? What happened to you’re going to have my children, we’re going to get married?! What happened to you’ll never fucking leave me!”

I knew this would get ugly, it didn’t matter if I did it in a public place or here. Everything she said was true but how much sense did it make to go into a marriage unhappy and without any trust? None of our friends knew about our troubles, there were no FB post or venting sessions. That’s not who we are so to them we were the perfect couple and for her perception was everything.

“It’s not about worth, it’s about being happy and right now I don’t think either one of us are happy Tye.”

“Twenty one credits was what you needed to graduate when you met me, I helped you go back to school and get that degree. A credit score of 580, you couldn’t even get a gas card, I helped you get that help. Before me all you talked about was what you wanted to be and made you someone people want to be! Now you say you’re leaving me because we both made mistakes?!”

She picked up the knife and I took a step back but I was cornered, unless I hurt her there was no way to get around her. “I fucked him, you fucked her, we’re even! I’ll kill you before I let you leave me like you didn’t beg me to give you a chance!”

I heard her but I didn’t believe her, it was anger talking, hurt. “I’m sorry Tye, I’m sorry.” She held the knife at her side, I kissed her on the forehead and stepped around her. “I’m sorry too,” was what I heard before I felt the sharp pain and fell to the ground, my legs numb, my heart racing. She stood over me and cried before she brought the knife down into my chest.