We Aren’t Our Grandparents; Not Sure If That’s A Good or Bad Thing

When I was growing up my bedroom was right next to the living room and there were so many nights I would hear my grandmother and grandfather sitting in the living room talking. It was their routine. My grandmother would sit and read her bible and my grandfather would wait until the news went off and join her while she fixed him something sweet to eat.

Most nights I’m not sure what they talked about but I know they had very few secrets if any and they were each other’s sounding board. The thing about their generation is that they understood at some point your family evolved. Your immediate family went from your mom and dad and brothers and sisters to your husband or wife and your children. Your secrets and concerns stopped being between bestfriends and siblings and started being with your husband or wife.

Our generation has moved away from that and I can’t tell anyone reading this whether or not that’s good or bad, what works for you and your relationship works for you and your relationship but I can tell you that it can’t help that we don’t have that same sense of closeness and loyalty anymore.

It also works on the opposite in. My grandparents and that generation, the women didn’t ask a lot of questions and in a lot of cases, they didn’t have a lot of options. If they found a man that had a good job and was a good provider they didn’t divorce him no matter his flaws. Our women are different, they have jobs and careers and in a lot of cases are more financially stable then the men they’re with. There isn’t that same sense of accepting whatever he brings.

How cannot that not be a good thing?

I wish I could work and not worry about my wife working but we don’t live in that world anymore. You need two incomes and when your woman has to work how often can you come home to a homecooked meal? It’s the last day of 2017 and I haven’t one time this year.

Like I mentioned in the beginning, there’s no right or wrong answer but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a happy medium.

In case I get the feeling to write at 10:00pm on my cell phone this will more than likely be my last blog of 2017. So let me leave anyone reading with this thought.

Generations may change, cost of living and eras may change but the bond that a man and woman share will never change. If you find yourself questioning the priorities you share with a person you need to talk to them, make sure you’re on the same page. Often times we spend so much time analyzing that we forget to put down the cell phones and laptops and talk.

Do more of that in 2018.DSC_0341(1)

4 Ways to Chase Your Dreams While Still Working for Someone Else

There are more small business’s and entrepreneurs in 2015 than at any point in the history of civilization. That’s not hyperbole; that’s fact. Why put your time, effort, energy and knowledge into making someone else rich when you can make yourself rich?

As sexy as it sounds to quit a job that provides you insurance, security, a steady income all to pursue a dream sounds; that’s not always practical. What is practical though is starting small and building and working your way to being able to branching out on your own.

One- Putting Yourself On A Schedule

It can be really tempting to over exert yourself when you’re trying to build a business. Working day and night whenever you have a free moment. But you also run the risk of burning yourself out. Pace yourself and give yourself a work schedule. I make myself write 3 hours a day 5 days a week no matter what. Some days I write more but never less.

Two- Don’t Work For Free

When I first started writing I was so excited to be doing something I loved I unintentionally worked for free. Not charging for re-writes, not charging for consultations, not enforcing contracts. Allowing people to try and barter services instead of paying me. I learned turning down work was better than working for people that didn’t respect my efforts and talents.

Three- Build A Base

Know who your target audience is. Once you realize who you’re targeting start to build a base. It doesn’t matter what you’re selling, what matters is that you’re consistent. That your word never sways. That your product or service is always dependable.

Four- Your Fee Is Your Fee

Do not! I repeat, do not! Feel as though you have to lower your fees to get customers. You won’t build a business that way; if anything you’ll end up working harder for less and when you do try and up your prices people will go elsewhere. Charge what you know you’re worth and with a quality product word will spread.

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Some People Work Things Out and Some Just Don’t Know When to Change

Some People Work Things Out and Some Just Don’t Know When to Change
“You should never change for a person, make the change for yourself.” I’m not sure whose words these are but they aren’t true even though I hear people saying them all the time. Part of growing up is changing but more than that it’s changing for the right reason and often times that reason is another person.

Top Five Reasons to Give Up

1. There’s always someone else, I have options. I can replace her in a heartbeat!
2. She wasn’t special anyway. Her ears were too big, her breasts were saggy without a bra. She waited too long to offer me a drink when I walked in the door.
3. I’m too young to settle down, I have plenty of time.
4. Love shouldn’t be this hard, love comes easy.
5. I’m tired, I need a break.

None of those reasons make much sense when you compare them to what you’re losing. Just because we have options doesn’t mean we have to take advantage of those options. Not every woman is replaceable, you may find someone that is as attractive as her, that’s more sexual than her. You could find a woman that does more for you financially or mentally. If you look hard enough you may even find someone that is just a better person that her. The problem is can you find someone that put it all together like she did? Chemistry doesn’t come in the form of one or two traits that look good on paper. Chemistry comes when the sum of the parts come together in this perfect harmony.

Every woman is two women, you have the “date” her and the “comfortable” her. The date her is the one that’s on point. The push up bra has them sitting right, the nails and hair and conversation just works. Those first couple dates you see her at her absolute best. Then there’s the comfortable her, the her that’s still beautiful but there’s no makeup, maybe they aren’t sitting so perfectly when the bra comes off. There will be days where she needs her hair fixed and her attitude is just horrible. These are the days you should love her the most because I promise you she isn’t showing too many people this side of her.

Guys are running around here at 45 talking about, “I’m too young to settle down.” I’m going to need you all to chill, when the right person comes alone there’s no such things as “too young.” Don’t get me wrong, do I think you should get married before you have lived a little, dated a little, gotten a feel for what you want. Of course I don’t but I do think part of settling down means we get past this Peter Pan mentally. If you’re single, enjoy it! Live it up and have fun! What you shouldn’t do though is walk away from the best thing that ever happened to you because you just want to have fun.

The same people that say, “It’s not working if you love it,” are the same people that love to say, “When you really love someone you don’t have to try.” I don’t care how much I love writing, when I’m sleepy at 3am and I have deadlines and worn eyes and have cancelled two dates this week, that’s work. The same goes for love, if you show me a person that has a perfect relationship; I’ll show you a person that’s in denial. Relationships take more work than most of us single people realize, I think what happens is when you’re far removed you remember the good or bad stuff. What you don’t remember is most relationships take place in the grey.

Giving up means one thing, you quit on someone. Once you need a break or quit there’s no bouncing back. It’ll always be broken now.

Life is simple. You either work it out or you keep living in ways that are self destructive that just won’t make you happy. You can’t work things out if you aren’t willing to change the bad stuff about you.

Her future ring.

Her future ring.